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Thread: My journal

  1. #221
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    May 2013
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    Reading Gottman's latest book, I see the importance of trust. I gained a new insight into the effect my parents' divorce had on me. It made me lose the ability to trust and caused me to question everything. This was helpful in academia but harmful in my relationships. When the people who you begin life trusting the most fail you, it is hard to trust again. To have a kid means to invest a lot of trust in your partner. In previous relationships, if I had been able to trust them more, that we could manage having a kid, that we would eventually save and contribute to philanthropy, that we would work out problems, then that greater level of trust would have made it easier to commit to them and stay in the relationship. Neither I nor those previous partners were really able to drill down to it being an issue with trust at the heart of the issue with commitment. If we'd been able to understand that and work on building up trust, then maybe it would have worked out.

  2. #222
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    Looking through some old photos today I found some of us at our friend's wedding. We were happy then. That's how I choose to remember us. Wish we'd been able to make it last. Wish I hadn't made so many mistakes. I'm sorry.

  3. #223
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    I've been digitizing old photos and old letters recently. Including both those between my parents during their courtship days when my dad was in Vietnam and also old letters and cards I've received. I had not realized that I'd received so many letters from so many people who cared about me. I think I sent a fraction of that amount out and I feel badly about that. I hope to send more letters to people in the future to show that they are cared about. I hope to give more than I receive in all these friendships and relationships in the years going forward. I feel I've been selfish up till now in focusing on myself and my career. I need to think less about what I can get out of relationships and more about what I can give and how I can help those who are close to me.

  4. #224
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    As long as you stay, I'll never leave. Those were the words that I needed to hear. Even though we can't know for sure, I just needed that sincere reassurance.

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