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Thread: "I don't want to lose you." ??

  1. #1
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    "I don't want to lose you." ??

    What would you think if you heard the following from your boyfriend:

    "I don't want to lose you."

    "I don't want to hurt you."

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    I would think that he is feeling guilty about something or thinking of doing or has done something that could potentially hurt me. Instead of trying to guess I would ask him what he means.

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    What if he refuses to tell you because he doesn't want to hurt you, but yet he admits to deliberately lying to you?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Then sorry, but cheating comes into mind. I would explain to him that he is already hurting me by not being clear and leaving me to imagine the worst. Then ask him again.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Clio
    Then sorry, but cheating comes into mind. I would explain to him that he is already hurting me by not being clear and leaving me to imagine the worst. Then ask him again.
    What if he says he "forgot"?

  7. #6
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    So, it mainly sounds like what a cheater would say? What if he keeps refusing to tell you, and instead starts to say he forgot and "you know I love you, right?"

  8. #7
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    "I don't want to lose you" - that was said to me by a man 12 years my senior (back in 2010, I was 22 and he was 34). He was never my boyfriend and at that stage we were just getting to know each other for a few months. Long story short: Lots of ups and downs, ons and offs, my insecurities and immaturity, he called me crazy and stuffs, then apologies and stuffs, then NC for 1-2 years.

    Fast forward till recently, after 3 years of disconnection, I added him back on facebook. He ignored it. After a month of pending friend request, I just silently went and cancelled it. I didn't want to create any further mess.

    In a way, when someone says "I don't want to lose you", take it as true up to that moment. The future settles for itself.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member sharky988's Avatar
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    It depends if this is a boyfriend or an ex.

    An ex could be saying they don't want to lose you or hurt you by telling you the true reasons for the breakup. They could be saying these things to try and keep you around as a "friend" immediately after the breakup to make the healing process easier for them (to keep you there as a backup plan.)

    A boyfriend says things like that when they've cheated or done something equally dealbreaking to a relationship -- or when they're about to break up with you.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by sharky988
    It depends if this is a boyfriend or an ex.

    An ex could be saying they don't want to lose you or hurt you by telling you the true reasons for the breakup. They could be saying these things to try and keep you around as a "friend" immediately after the breakup to make the healing process easier for them (to keep you there as a backup plan.)

    A boyfriend says things like that when they've cheated or done something equally dealbreaking to a relationship -- or when they're about to break up with you.
    He said this while he was my boyfriend. He said he wasn't at his best friends house, that he was instead at a girls (best friends girl friends) house while he was alone with her for five minutes, but he swears that they didn't do anything, because his best friend was there, just outside.

    The interesting thing is that his best friend is the one that wanted him to lie to me about what happened.

    He said that after he said he didn't want to lose/hurt me.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member sharky988's Avatar
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    Well obviously something happened there with that girl! The mere fact of being alone "for five minutes" with another female isn't worth mentioning to your girlfriend.

    I'd say not only did something happen, but it was considerably longer than five minutes.

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