Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 21

Thread: My boyfriend would rather masterbate then have sex with me

  1. #1
    TUowl
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    6

    Unhappy My boyfriend would rather masterbate then have sex with me

    Hello, I am new here.

    My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 5 years. Last August we broke up for a few months. But then back in November we got back together and things were awesome until about early March. He changed a lot for me in order to better or relationship and make things work out. But in march our sex life began to dwindle, which I know for the most part is normal especially for relationships as long as ours. But we aren't married and neither of us have any children. I am 29, and he is 34 years old. He has been married once before, and I have never been married.

    Anyway, the reason I am here is because I need some insight. Since our sex life has dwindled, we used to do it at least 3 times a week, and now it's barely once a week, and when we do have sex, it's too short, he cums fast, and he doesn't even take the time afterwards to try and get me to cum. He only apologizes for cumming too quickly. I told him back when we got together that I feel like I at my sexual peak. I know women have their peak later then men. But I have never met a man that doesn't want sex...ever! He has told me he feels like he is low on testosterone, and claims that the reason we were having sex a lot when we got together is because he was on a testosterone booster supplement. He is really into physical fitness and felt like through the years he messed up his testosterone levels from all the supplementation he has taken all these years. But when I talk to him about how it's been a problem that we aren't having sex anymore. His excuse is "oh, we'll, suck it up!" He says he can't afford the testosterone booster he was taking a few monks ago. But recently within the last 2 weeks I have noticed that he has been masterbating when I am not home. I will be at work. And it really upsets me because he is doing it at a time when I will be home in like 2 hours. Why won't he just wait til I get home? I get home from work at 9pm! He also claims that whenever I want to have sex, he is too tired. I don't always feel like that is the case. But I can't argue with him about it. Cuz I can't prove it. But he is making me feel like I am the one that is the problem. He says it isn't. But I don't understand how it couldn't be. I feel like leaving him. But I love him so much, I can't stand it. But everytime I notice that he has jerked off, I get so angry and can't understand why he wouldn't just want to have sex with his girlfriend who loves him and he loves too! I feel like I am just a roommate and a friend. Not someone's intimate partner. I asked him if I need to initiate the sex more. And I have done so, but he turns me down and says he is too tired all the time. It's so frustrating! What do I do? I noticed he jerked off while i was at work to ivht and i cinfronted him about it, and he admitted that he did. We argued about it tonight and he kicked me out of the apartment. This may be the end. But I don't want it to be.
    Last edited by TUowl; 05-03-2013 at 01:20 AM.

  2. #2
    shellyf62
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Sydney Australia
    Posts
    2,707
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    835
    Can I ask how you know he has masturbated? Has he left the "evidence" lying around?

  3. #3
    TUowl
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    6
    Yes, well I masterbate because he doesn't have sex with me. And he knows this, but I leave the astroglide on the stand and I can't tell when it's been moved. In fact, when I noticed today, I confronted him and he was honest and told me that he did.

  4. #4
    TUowl
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    6
    Oh! And he claims he does it cuz he is bored. But when people are bored they don't masterbate. At least I've never heard of that. People watch tv or read, etc. if they're bored. Not pick up astroglide and jerk off!i told him that him jerking off wouldn't bother me if we had a normal sex life. But because we hardly have one at all, it's an issue. That's when he became defensive and told me to leave. I told him how he makes me feel like its me, and I can't see how it isn't at this point. He once told me that he cums basically by feeling, that he doesn't watch porn or think things in his head. Is that true? Can that happen for guys...to come based off of the feeling it gives?

  5. #5
    pl3asehelp

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    San Francisco
    Age
    41
    Posts
    9,035
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    7
    Quote Originally Posted by TUowl [Register to see the link]
    Oh! And he claims he does it cuz he is bored. But when people are bored they don't masterbate. At least I've never heard of that. People watch tv or read, etc. if they're bored. Not pick up astroglide and jerk off!i told him that him jerking off wouldn't bother me if we had a normal sex life. But because we hardly have one at all, it's an issue. That's when he became defensive and told me to leave. I told him how he makes me feel like its me, and I can't see how it isn't at this point. He once told me that he cums basically by feeling, that he doesn't watch porn or think things in his head. Is that true? Can that happen for guys...to come based off of the feeling it gives?
    Wrong. Boredom is a PERFECT reason to jerk off. Survey says number one answer. And yeah it's all about the feeling.

  6. #6
    TUowl
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    6
    Ok, if its due to boredom, can u tell me why? Like why do guys jerk off because of boredom when you can just watch tv or do some other activity? I just find it weird. I never heard of it before. I want to understand it. I'm not trying to be rude. I asked my boyfriend on why it's due to boredom and he instead just gives up!

  7. #7
    offplanet
    Platinum Member offplanet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,900
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    31
    I don't think you can force someone to want to have sex with you through anger. If he doesn't feel like it that might be that and it's up to you whether you want to stay with him and feel frustrated and rejected. There have been men on this forum who've said they don't have a high sex drive, and it might be more 'normal' than you think. Maybe you're in the comfort zone after 5 years and after him having been married before. Maybe this is what it's going to be like from now on. Actually it wouldn't be good for his health to take supplements in order to get his sex drive back.

  8. #8
    pl3asehelp

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    San Francisco
    Age
    41
    Posts
    9,035
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    7
    Quote Originally Posted by TUowl [Register to see the link]
    Ok, if its due to boredom, can u tell me why? Like why do guys jerk off because of boredom when you can just watch tv or do some other activity? I just find it weird. I never heard of it before. I want to understand it. I'm not trying to be rude. I asked my boyfriend on why it's due to boredom and he instead just gives up!
    Because it feels great. 1000 times better than Tv or anything else really. Better than sex in some situations.

  9. #9
    keeptrying
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    33
    Quote Originally Posted by TUowl [Register to see the link]
    Oh! But when people are bored they don't masterbate. At least I've never heard of that. People watch tv or read, etc. if they're bored. ?
    you are so very wrong! im a 21year old female and when im bored i masturbate, it kills time and its fun to do, alot more fun then reading or watching tv thats fo sure

  10. #10
    Sparklesong
    Gold Member Sparklesong's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Ohio, USA
    Posts
    659
    Gender
    Female
    For whatever reason, he's only looking for physical release, not emotional closeness. Yes, that's very common, probably more so with men but for women, too. ANd the more you bug him about it and complain, the less he's going to want sex with you. I'd be willing to bet there's something else going on with his life, like job problems, maybe your relationship is bugging him, maybe another woman has caught his eye, or maybe his testosterone level did drop for some physical reason. People tend to lose the sex drive when there are problems in other areas of their lives.

    Just remember that men are wired differently than women. Just because a man doesn't feel or behave as you do doesn't mean that it's abnormal behavior for HIM. Many times men like to just "knock one off" and then carry on with the day, while women tend to prefer romance and seduction.

    I don't know anything about the testosterone supplements, but maybe there's kind of a withdrawal period when you stop taking them. As a medical lab tech, I know testosterone is a hormone that is regulated by the endocrine system in a "feedback loop" system. In other words, your body makes it, it registers that you have enough so it stops making it. When it registers that you need it again, it makes more, and when it registers you have enough, it stops again, and so on. It's possible that him taking the artificial suppelments screwed up the body's system enough where it hasn't kicked in to make more. Just speculating, his doctor could looking into that and advise him.

  11.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
Am I the only one saving myself for marriage....?
Hello everyone, I am a 20 year old female here, and being raised up in a relatively strict Asian family, I've come to believe that virginity is a
Long distance relationship - Experiences/opinions on open relationships
I've been in a long distance relationship for a while, we aren't able to see each other on a daily basis, perhaps every three months or so if our
Ending a Good Relationship Over Sex Issues?
My girlfriend and I have been together for three years (we are 22), and everything has been perfect except sex and passion. We click so well, love
Confused about Candaulism and the 'wife sharing'
Hi guys, I am a bit in need of help in here. To give you some background, my boyfriend has become a candaulist, or somebody who wants to share his
sex sex sex
sex is all i feel it's about here, i been noticed that when we had sex we are good but when a day or two gose by he gets quite, and doesn't really
Boyfriend doesn't seem interested in sex anymore
So I've been with my partner for almost 6 years (We had a bit of a break in between) but got back together just over two years ago. We have an 8
Does it make you horny if you don't touch yourself?
I'm going to hopefully see my boyfriend in 3 weeks time and we haven't exactly slept together before and he told me he wasn't going to masutrbate
Featured Threads
My boyfriend doesn't text me as much anymore?
My boyfriend would text me everyday all day and now he won't text me first anymore or at all sometimes. Last night he stopped replying to my text so
Is she the rebound
If he leaves a 17 year relationship to date his High School Sweetheart from 32 years ago, is she a rebound ?
I want to break NC after almost 2 months to invite my ex gf to a concert
We have been in NC for almost 2 months after being together for 6 years. She stopped responding to a text i sent her. I saw she was interested in
Online dating, and why it doesn't work well for most men
We discussed this before, and for some reason people got personal and mean about it. So I have no intention of returning to this thread, but I wanted
PLEASE HELP, boyfriend talks to mom 4-5 times per day, very odd relationship....
Hi guys, Always been hesitant to post my personal business online. Anyways... here it goes... So my boyfriend is amazing...(just to throw this
Hurtful joking
My bf jokes about things that are very hurtful. Today was probably one of the most hurtful. He tried to grab my breasts and he does this a lot. He's
He dumped me and won't return my stuff
So I was seeing a guy for a short amount of time. Out of the blue....he blocked me? Fair enough, I get the message, I think it's rude but
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •