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Thread: Just got dumped a few days ago and this guy I met wont leave me alone. Stalker?

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2013

    Just got dumped a few days ago and this guy I met wont leave me alone. Stalker?

    Im not really sure this is the right place for this post, but here goes.
    Im a full time student, studying to be a psychologist (ironic, I know, since I can barely cope with myself at the moment) and in my spare time I am an au pair and tutor.
    Wednesday evening I had to attend an Annual General Meeting for the company I tutor for.
    I was a bit lost so asked these two guys if I was in the right place, which I was.

    Since walking away from my ex on Tuesday, I felt like this would be a good time to socialize and meet new people (Which I havent done in two years just about) so I sat next to them and started chatting to them and getting to know them. They were cool, they were nerds like me and we had a lot in common.
    After the meeting I left and waved goodbye.
    The day after I receive a message from an unknown number saying "Hey is this N from the tutor meeting last night?"
    I had a feeling it was one of the guys but wasnt sure how they got my number short of asking someone from the company to give it to them?
    It felt a little stalkerish to be honest. I replied and said yes and asked who was contacting me, and my suspicions were confirmed.
    Turns out this guy seemed to have looked at some paper work at the meeting and somehow got my number off one of the sheets. This is a tad bit creepy and worrying.

    I chatted to the guy and was very friendly and for a while he was a good distraction from the breakup. I told him from the get go that I just went through a breakup and Im not romantically interested or interested in dating anyone at this point. He said that was okay and he just wanted to chat. He has since then flirted and complimented me. I didnt reciprocate because I literally just went through a breakup not even a week ago.
    Since Thursday he hasnt wanted to leave me alone even though I said I needed time to be by myself from time to time. He contacts me religiously and the whole situation is starting to make me feel really uncomfortable... like he wants something I cant and certainly wont offer him...

    From my view, I've told him im not interested and even if he does just want to chat as a friend, I dont want to speak to him every minute of every day which kind of seems like what he wants from me.. I dont even want to speak every day. Once or twice a week would suffice for me. He's coming on too strong and its worrying me.

    Can anyone please offer some advice? This guy is creeping me out and making me uncomfortable

  2. #2
    Member lizardking999's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    San Francisco, CA
    Tell him to back off. Seriously. I understand how difficult that might be, it has been for me especially being a man. But you will need to make it clear. Because if he turns out to be a nut job, this is the first step in reporting this to authorities...that you made a clear signal that was not heeded. Some people can't take a hint, I have learned this recently in my single life.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    New Jersey
    Have you stopped responding? If not, you're making this worse than it needs to be. Tell him you think he's nice, but you're getting worn down by all the texting and need to turn your phone off for a while--you'll contact him when you're up for it.

    Then don't contact him until you're up for it, and don't respond until then. Period.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    I havent responded to him today at all. Just ignored it

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