Intuition vs fear anxiety.. How to distinguish them?

I get intuitive hits to decisions or situations but I sometimes question is it doubt fear? How do we tell them apart bearing in mind intuition can be a warning sign or green light to go ahead.?

By applying real world evidence.

I am 1 of those weird people who has these *feelings* as well.

99% of the time they're right.

It freaks me out as well as others.

They're not always grand things, but they're things, nonetheless.

I can't really give you advice without learning more about how you feel, what you're doing when you get these intuitions, what's happened when you've ignored/listened to them.

What exactly are you referring to?

Im referring to life decisions. I have noted warning signs but emotion used to blind me when I was younger only to find it was right..like your experiences. Its not easy to listen to but its right and I know this despite internal struggles and thats ok .. Thats life..

In saying that sometimes I wonder if its fear or really a warning intuitive sign? I test and retest and if I get the same feeling I put it down to intuition.. But is it?

I have those gut feelings too, even for life decisions. I usually listen to my gut. But my gut feeling has proven to be wrong at times. So I don't really know what to make of that. However I do think my gut feeling is usually 80% right.

I usually let life choose for me.

I'll organize a bunch of options & when the time comes, there's usually only 1 still left, lol.

For example, the September before last I had spots @ 2 different schools.

I paid deposits & such @ both just because I couldn't ****ing decide.

1 college was a few h away the other was accross the country.

I kept organizing both, just waiting for a "sign," haha.

My sign came when I got cut from a varsity team I wanted to play on.

Next day I paid in full to the other school & off I went.

I knew I wouldn't be happy unless I did everything I could to play on a school team so since option 1 didn't work out I tried another.

Worked out well enough, I'm sure my life would be very different if I went to theother school, but that's 1/2 the fun.

You should read the book 'The Gift of Fear' by Gavin deBecker. He is an expert who has worked in protecting people from stalkers/criminals and ensuring safety and assessing whether someone might be a threat/danger...

He argues that intuition IS a very useful tool which we can learn to recognize when it is giving us warnings we should not overlook. He believes that you can learn how to use it effectively (combined with your logic and reason) to learn how to protect yourself and make good decisions.

He says that intuition is really an 'early warning system' located in our 'older' brain functions rather than higher cortex, which is why it doesn't speak the exact same language as logic and reason which are higher cortex functions. It's more in our 'reptile brain' and was developed to help avoid imminent danger and react quickly before the logical brain can even process things logically. for example, if a reptile is on a rock it needs to react instantly the second a shadow passes over it because if it waits until it sees the hawk flying over, it is too late and the reptile gets eaten. but if a shadow passes over and the brain detects a shift in light, the reptile can act instantly and be under a rock before the hawk can swoop down. Sometimes it is just a sparrow passing over so the reptile didn't really need to react, but sometimes it is a hawk and so it is good that it reacted. So it is an 'early warning' survival system that operates on a different frequency than logical thought, not always 100% accurate in but it is very effective and when intuition speaks, it is a good idea to listen because it is better to be safe than sorry.

So it has a component that is tangled up in fear, but it is there sending its message if you learn how to listen for it. How this would apply to humans is that we do have our higher brains which use logical and reason, but we've also been socialized to do all kinds of things based on logic and reason and social convention and ignore other things because it is not socially polite or 'reasonable'.

In humans, an example migh be a woman carrying groceries up the stairs to her apartment. A man emerges from the shadows and offers to help her carry them. He is quite pleasant and attractive, but still a stranger so she gets a little twinge of discomfort because he is a stranger and she doesn't know him and he is intruding into her space. So she tells him no and continues up the stairs, but the man keeps pushing and trying to convince her to let him take a bag from her. She wants to be polite which is her social conditioning since the man appears to be trying to help, but she still doesn't want to turn over anything to him because she doesn't know him and feels awkward with him pressuring her. So she gets to her apt. door, and he's carrying one bag and insists he be should carry it into the apt. for her. By now her intuition is screaming because here is a stranger who came from the dark, and is pressuring her to do something, and now he is trying to get into her apt. So she is trying to analyze where this is just a 'nice' man, or whether this is an attempt by someone who might harm her to get into her apt. So if she ignores her intuition here that is prompting her that this guy came out of the dark and is pressuring her and perhaps she should avoid him, or she can go with her social conditioning that says one must always be 'nice' to anyone who is 'nice to you. But if she listens to her intuition, she has saved herself from rape. And if she ignores her intuition, she has openly invited a rapist into her house and made it easy for him to get her alone and rape her. Whether he was a rapist is a moot point because it truly isn't wise to let a stranger into the house for any reason at all. so she SHOULD learn to listen to that and know that it is better safe than sorry in the same manner as reptile and hawk. If he was just a nice guy, then no harm done other than refusing his offer. And if he is a rapist, she has saved herself.

So fear/intuition can be a very good friend to you and help you avoid dangerous or bad situations. And we do need to soemtimes learn how to listen to it if we've been conditioned to override it becasue of social conditioning. It's a primitive 'gift' that helps us survive and make positive choices in our best interest.

So one should always listen to that intuition, though it becomes tricky to recognize when our 'gut feelings' are more wishful thinking than true intuition. For example, let's say you see a gorgeous new car and fall in love. When it comes time to sign on the bottom line to pay for it, you may have an uneasy gut feeling when you see the bottom line that says, hey wait, those payments are just going to be too high and no matter how much i love it. and then i'll have to struggle to pay my rent and buy food. That might be positive intuition protecting you from a big mistake. But then you think to yourself, but wait, i'm going to get a raise this year and if i stop eating lunch out every day, perhaps i can afford this. Then you evaluate how likely that raise will be, and how you will feel never eating lunch out for the next 5 years because you've bought an expensive car. so then you intuition/fear level may get up or down based on your answers to those questions. But you've used your intuition AND logic to make a solid decision one way or another.

Now lets take another case... a young girl meets a new guy and instantly falls in 'love' with him. She just rushing forward, convinced her intuition has told her that 'this is my soulmate, he's the right guy for me and it will work out.' Now what does that really have to do with intuition? Not much! Because this is her WISH and not reality, and she knows nothing of this guy or what his history or goals are and she is leaping in with both feet and changing her whole life to be with him because she has an attraction and a WISH, but it has nothing at all to do with intuition. She may tell myself, my fear that he'll break my heart is wrong because my gut tells me he's my soulmate. Again, she is not listening to her intuition/fear, she is honing in on an entirely different source for that, which is her libido and overriding desire to couple up and has nothing to do with intuiton at all. So she's far better listening to the twinge that says, hey wait do i really KNOW this guy and though his words are saying things that make me think he's my soulmate, he's doing odd things with his phone that might mean he has another girl. So she is IGNORING her intuition that caution is warranted and forging ahead ignoring that fear because she has such a strong desire to couple up with somebody.

So you have to really train yourself to be able to recognize true intuition which is an early warning system and NOT some psychic ability to 'know' when something is right or wrong. it is indeed fear based, but in the primitive sense of sending you a little frisson of 'warning, warning' when you logical mind may not be evaluating things properly, or hasn't had time to do so.

It's a good book, i recommend it to everybody! It has really helped me a few times distinguish the difference between true intuition that i should heed, and those kind of 'wish fulfilment' situations where you are just agreeing with yourself because you want something so badly.

I also learned to never EVER let a stranger into your house or car... and if i ever get a twinge of fear when i'm in a situation where there could be potential harm, i err on the side of caution like that reptile running under the rock for the sparrow rather than listening to social convention that may have trained me to sit on that rock and get harmed if my logic was not able to have all the facts and hence evaluate correctly.

Thank you for such a complete answer. Intuition is a natural sense we have and I am with you in the point of it not being psychic. I also see much clarity in the situations you describe. It is our social conditioning which causes much pain. We think in terms of how it should be or mostly how we want it to be instead of what truly is . This also makes me realise that these thoughts are ego based which is why we do not accept and act on the truth. I have come to the conclusion that because life is a full experience then we owe it to ourselves to experience it and react accordingly with all the information in our conscious and sub conscious mind.

If we are not happy or afraid or it does not feel right then there is a higher reason. It also explains how emotionally abusive people ,manipulators ,narcissists take advantage of others..

These insights are life changing

HI TB - how have you been?

Is there a specific situation you are worried about?

When it comes to intuition: what has YOUR experience been in the past? How reliable has this feeling been for you?

I think intuition feels so different to people that it's difficult to tell somehow 'how it should feel'.

Intuition never shouts. It's very quiet, but it persists the same way anything real persists. You notice it again after you forget it. And it has very few words, if any. It's more of a persisting impression.

Fear shouts and rings alarm bells. You should pay attention to genuine, immediate fear and act instantly. It has no words other than something like, "Go!" "Duck!" or "Run!" Fear is always in the present tense, never in the future.

Anxiety, on the other hand, drains your life away with a never ending monologue about a crappy version of future. It has loooooots of words. It's like the advertising agency of doom. It never offers useful information.

It's just, "What if this? What if that? If that happens I'll be helpless and everyone will hate me! What'll I do then? And what if it gets even worse?" And you get yourself so freaked out that you can't move. And then you neglect to do the bare minimum that would prevent any micro-dooms from happening.

I used to think I was really intuitive, then I realized I was mostly neurotic, then finally I quieted everything down and started noticing an intuition here and there.

HeatherB, those are helpful descriptions.

I wonder about "gut feelings", when it doesn't seem to to be fear based, but it's not intuition either.

Lavenderdove, the example with the man and the groceries sounds more like common sense to me and not intuition. It's a known risk to let a stranger into your apartment. My understanding is intuition prompts you in ways you don't necessarily have reason for.

HI TB - how have you been?

 

Is there a specific situation you are worried about?

 

When it comes to intuition: what has YOUR experience been in the past? How reliable has this feeling been for you?

 

I think intuition feels so different to people that it's difficult to tell somehow 'how it should feel'.

Hi Penelope I am ok alot has happened over the years but we survive my friend. For me intuition requires me to take note of that niggling feeling or sense that something is not quite right. It is a silent voice of reason without reason but warning. I sometimes go to leave for work and see a tool which I do not normally take then later that day after not needing it for a year or two I need it So when I look at something or I have a feeling without reason that I need to do something then I just do it as precaution to later discover that it is needed.

In relationship in general..new friends clients etc I just get a vibe that makes me back off for no reason..almost like a fear .. I think it could relate to love or romantic relationships too where someone seems charming etc but something inside you nags you something is amiss. I feel this if listened to gives a heightened sense of awareness. Your heart may desire them but that feeling tells you it is wrong. Or visa versa if I deal with a member of the opposite sex in business and get the feeling there is more than passing interest so I end the connection as another example. I have also seen many people say I wish I listened to that niggly gut feeling only to end up in divorce years later or abusive relationships. Some may view red flags as intuition but the understanding or coming to awareness is different. It is like a higher level of our brain senses the incongruency yet our logical minds cannot make sense of it.

BTW how are you buddy?

That is why quieting the mind soul is important.The calm mind receives it better..clearer. Thats why if it is a big lifechanging decision it requires meditation or prayer to calm and then the answers come.

HeatherB, those are helpful descriptions.

 

I wonder about "gut feelings", when it doesn't seem to to be fear based, but it's not intuition either.

 

Lavenderdove, the example with the man and the groceries sounds more like common sense to me and not intuition. It's a known risk to let a stranger into your apartment. My understanding is intuition prompts you in ways you don't necessarily have reason for.

Intuition will make you walk as fast as possible on the sense of danger before it happens

I wonder about "gut feelings", when it doesn't seem to to be fear based, but it's not intuition either.

I tend to get gut feelings about people in person. And I think they come from a very primitive, and useful, point of view. It's basically yuck, yum, mismatch, or neutral.

• Yuck means I'm registering something is not right with the person. Like they're high or disordered or predatory in some way. And I guess that rings a fear alarm bell. My brain is catching dangerous or angry facial microexpressions and subtle disconnects in body language without zeroing in on any one trait in particular.
  
• A mismatch is similar, but the person doesn't seem dangerous as much as they do evasive. Like there's more to whatever story they're telling. That might just be because they're shy or because it's not appropriate to spill everything within the social context.
  
• Yum is just the mating and befriending instinct. That person is like me or complimentary to me. I feel comfortable around them or charged up or both. I'm drawn their way because we are in sync somehow. (That isn't always necessarily good for me to act on, because sometimes people feel right because they have exactly what it takes to reenact old dramas or traumas.)
  
• Neutral is just an everyday person.
  

Everyone has gut instincts. I think we use them every day without thinking about it. Cool topic, Top Bloke. Thanks for creating it! It's fun trying to put these concepts into words.

It can be life changing too. You have to be careful Heather because you put a bit too much reading into it I feel. Yuck..or stop or pull back danger is what I do get.Not a thought but an unconscious invisible rope it feels like stopping me as far as interaction with people. It is like a radar that beeps before you see the danger.

I am not too sure about the mating yum instinct..it is different I feel. That is from attraction and chemistry. Same as friends. We are attracted by commonality and comfort ease with the person.Sometimes they are charismatic or you have crazy attraction but they still may be not good for you. Intuition for me in that case again would simply be my warning system in case it was time to back off. Perhaps for me it only stops danger or loss in the later future. The same applies to the mismatch you describe..again a warning system that something is not right. No an assessment but just that niggly nagging feeling it is not right.

Neutral would be similar to the senses animals use at waterholes for example that the other animals around are not a threat and so they drink together comfortably. The lion coming into the picture makes them run..

Truly wonderful and very detailed response. Thank you very much for the book recommendation as well.

Since childhood, I have always been trusting my intuition. Living in a war zone for years has presented me with so many different challenges. At the same time, I was able to learn how to recognize and develop true intuition.

I absolutely agree that gut feelings are considered wishful thinking than true intuition. My gut feelings have caused me to make mistakes in life because they were "wishful feelings" and intuition was simply pushed out by them. I learned from my mistakes and whenever these gut feelings appear, I do not trust them at all.

My intuition and logic have the priority.