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I have been home with a fever since last Friday. I left work midday on Friday, hoping I could recover during the weekend, but it is going on and on. Ugh.

 

Although I got the flu shot, I think this is a form of the flu. I am so sore and achy and my fever was above 102 each afternoon.

 

My friend J came to visit over the weekend and I tried to let her know that she was exposing herself to my illness. She was here for an event honoring another friend, so she spent little time with me.

 

Can’t remember if I wrote this on here, but she also lost her last brother a few weeks ago, so she is really grieving.

 

Anyhow, still off work and I will be tomorrow.

 

My cat has been glad for the company. It is raining out, so no hunting today. Thank goodness!

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Well, traumatic for me, after that one time he let a live one go in my house. In the end, this one stayed outside.

 

Happened here once. Older female brought the mouse in and let it go in my room to not be seen again, until about 2 am. Crashing and banging as the two girl cats try to catch it. Second night, the same thing. I had to go downstairs and sleep on the couch, just to get some rest. Day 3, I come home to find a dead mouse in the middle of the bedroom floor with two cats staring at it. I can only assume they were proud of their `kill'

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Happened here once. Older female brought the mouse in and let it go in my room to not be seen again, until about 2 am. Crashing and banging as the two girl cats try to catch it. Second night, the same thing. I had to go downstairs and sleep on the couch, just to get some rest. Day 3, I come home to find a dead mouse in the middle of the bedroom floor with two cats staring at it. I can only assume they were proud of their `kill'

 

Oh my goodness, RIM! I can relate to the loss of sleep and the chaos!

 

All I can say is - be thankful they finished the job. Mine thinks he is done, once he lets it go in the house!

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I didn’t watch the Grammys (too sick that day) but my nephew’s best friend’s band got to play at the Grammys! Okay, well he didn’t get to play because he is part of the backup band, and the Grammys provided their own for the singers. But still!!!

 

My nephew kept telling me last year “Auntie, I don’t want to brag, but they are really really good!”

 

I guess I should take my nephew more seriously...

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Ugh. This virus goes on forever. My temp is lower but not gone. Maybe tomorrow...

 

So - a few weeks ago my older son flew in with his gf for a long weekend. They stayed at his dad’s house. I suggested that because my in-laws live there in a trailer, and they hadn’t seen my son for over a year- and they are in their 80s.

 

Anyhow, we went out to eat a few times. (And my son insisted on paying!)

 

So we went to some hip Japanese place one day, and to a craft beer place another day. So fun to get to know my son’s gf. And my son has grown up and matured so much. It makes my mama heart sing!

 

My younger son couldn’t drive in from school- too much going on. But he called me a week later, feeling very guilty and I assured him that his job is to get through school and everyone understood. He sounded a bit mentally fragile, something I had never seen in him before. He is normally very self assured and capable and confident.

 

We had a good talk. Mental note - I need to check in with him more...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ugh. Still sick, somewhat.

 

I’ve been back at work for almost 2 weeks. Once my temp was below 100 for 24 hours I could go back. So I did.

 

But then a few days later I felt so tired and chilled. My temp was at 99.4, and has been for almost 2 weeks. I’ve been going to bed at 8 each night.

 

I went to my oncologist today for a regular checkup - I’m an 11 year survivor. Anyhow, all is great on that front, and he thinks it is just a slow moving virus.

 

Next week I meet my new internist because my old one retired.

 

Glad there is no hint of cancer. But I am so tired of being sick!

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  • 4 weeks later...
Yikes! That's such a long time to be sick! Glad it's not cancer, though!!

 

I guess I spoke too soon.

I caught a stomach virus last week and have not been back to work. My doc kept doing blood tests because I felt something was not right. I finally talked him into doing an abdomen scan so he ordered an ultrasound.

 

When I got home I was jolted by a phone call to go to the ER because I have ascites (fluid in my abdomen). Still out sick and they don’t know the cause. Both docs think I have cancer again but they can’t find where.

 

But it could be an infection

 

Need prayers...

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Oh that's awful. Fingers crossed it's not cancer.

 

Now that I've learned a thing or two about ascites (unfortunately), cancer is one of the many possible causes (and the worst). Hopefully it's something else.

 

Whatever the cause, at some point you will need to ask the doctors to collect the fluid to relieve you from the pain. You know, many times you have to push them to do their job.

 

Fingers crossed it's not cancer.

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Oh that's awful. Fingers crossed it's not cancer.

 

Now that I've learned a thing or two about ascites (unfortunately), cancer is one of the many possible causes (and the worst). Hopefully it's something else.

 

Whatever the cause, at some point you will need to ask the doctors to collect the fluid to relieve you from the pain. You know, many times you have to push them to do their job.

 

Fingers crossed it's not cancer.

 

Well, the jury is still out. But there is no apparent reason for the ascites. Sorry you have personal experience with that, Dias.

 

So, they sent me to the ER a few days ago to drain me and get the fluid tested, and no remarkable results with the fluid. And really, they didn’t drain it all which is annoying.

 

So when I went to my appointments yesterday both docs decided to have a radiologist do another drain, with further testing. They assured me the radiologist would do a better job - I think it was a med student that did it in the ER.

 

I have to go pick up 2 antibiotics - they’re treating me for infections, just in case.

 

They also are looking for markers of ovarian cancer, just in case.

 

I’m bracing myself for what may come, but it is unfortunately a familiar place to be and I did so much of that spiritual work 11 years ago to get through my divorce and breast cancer (at the same time).

 

A friend brought over some miso soup and noodles, so I tried some of that - first hot meal in a week! So far so good.

 

Doc insisted I drink Pedialyte which is sickly sweet - ugh - but he could tell I was dehydrated so I am trying to get it down. Hopefully the soup helped too.

 

My sons have been in touch, and so sweet.

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Checking in.

 

I think the last virus I had was a Noro virus. Add that on top of whatever underlying issue I have, plus residual symptoms from the virus a month prior, and you get as sick as I have been.

 

I’ve been able to eat very carefully for a week - small portions of very bland foods. But it is something.

 

I am still a mystery to my doctors. My temp has hovered around 99.4 each day for at least 6 weeks. Higher when I actively had the viruses, and then back down again.

 

I was supposed to see my oncologist tomorrow, but he called me today (on a Sunday!) and rescheduled for next week. He still is not so sure it is cancer, and I cried. I did tell him I am so thankful that he is working through this with my internist, because I know it helps to bounce things off of each other.

 

With the Corona virus news I had a freak out on Thursday after watching the news. I’m here alone, no partner or husband. It is daunting. So frightening.

 

But after I talked it through with my friend J, I realized that panicking will not help matters. I got a good night sleep and woke up the next morning ready to face challenges.

 

Saturday morning came, and 3 friends texted me to see if I needed a food delivery. I texted a list to the first one (Pedialite, bananas, probiotics) and chatted with the other 2.

 

One of my coworkers called me and told me what had happened at work last week. So many kids were out sick! 50 out of about 240 students, and the office confirmed that 48 of those 50 were truly sick with various viruses - stomach, Flu B, and a few with colds and a fever. So thank goodness the governor shut down schools in our state - there may not have been Corona at our school, but it was a mess.

 

My coworker is also very frightened. And on Friday they had staff meeting and they announced (with my permission) about why I’ve been out, so that all added to the gloom.

 

This morning another coworker called me to “send me some love” and that warmed my heart.

 

I finally took a few hours to call all of my siblings- I had not shared any of this information with them, as we are spread across the nation. Plus I didn’t know what to tell them.

 

It was interesting to hear their reactions. One of my siblings just retired as a physician so I shared more with him than the others. However, maybe that is an emotional burden for him, I don’t know. He won’t make judgements or really give much medical advice because he says it is not a good idea to “treat” family members and I get that.

 

But some of my other siblings are not in the medical profession and had some very great observations and questions to try to help solve things.

 

My brother told me that there are no visitors allowed in my mom’s memory care center now. I get why they have to do that and I am not surprised. But I am praying for the caregivers and for the residents.

 

My sister was there for a short visit last week and she said my mom sleeps most of the time. With dementia and at age 99 I am not surprised.

 

My sister’s business is suffering due to the shutdowns, so she has to go to the bank to ask for a loan tomorrow, to get her through.

 

My brother is able to do his research at home, and I think that suits him fine.

 

My other brother is retired so he is happily at home doing woodworking and online classes.

 

My other sister who is on disability is struggling financially but is very healthy.

 

Lots on my mind today.

 

I go this week for another paracentesis fluid removal from my abdomen, which has built up again.

 

Then another checkup with my internist.

Stay healthy, everyone. And call people who are stuck at home by themselves, as they likely feel very isolated.

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I’m coming around the corner from the stomach virus that hit me so hard. Yesterday and today I was able to eat a few small meals. I have so much relief after the fluid removal! I know it will build up again, but let us hope not too quickly.

 

The place where they sent me for the procedure: was a hospital. I’m not going back there again, because I don’t want to be exposed to COVID19.

 

Anyhow, the governor had ordered only emergency procedures be performed, to preserve on medical equipment and exposure. Will talk with my doc tomorrow to see what that means for me. All I know is that I was so sick when I went in, and it gave me immediate relief.

 

They have set up a temporary “hospital” at our state capital in the fairgrounds building, in case it is needed. Sobering and frightening times.

 

Next week is spring break for me, and then (health willing) I will begin lessons online as much as I can. I suspect that will go until the end of the year.

 

My son is home from university, although he chose to stay at his dad’s. He is going to isolate himself in his room there upstairs for 2 weeks to make sure he does not bring home any viruses. Lol, his dad said he usually holes up there just like that anyway, making his electronic music all day and night...

 

Anyhow, he told me that Oregon Universities have chosen to do all online learning for the rest of the year. I’m glad he is home and not alone at the university. Once his 2 weeks is up, he has offered to come help me with projects.

 

I love my sons. They are so very thoughtful and have called me many times to check in on me. Makes my mom heart sing!

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