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Thread: Online Dating for the 2nd Time - A Journal

  1. #7091
    Bronze Member maritalbliss86's Avatar
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    Not sure if you're familiar with the usual signs a woman shows if she's interested, but maybe it could help. Not all girls/women do this possibly, but again... maybe it could be helpful

    [Register to see the link] Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #7092
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    After our uneventful walk last weekend and my text point-blank asking her if she saw something romantic developing, SHANDA had sent me this reply last Monday:

    SHANDA
    Hmmm... I dunno. Is this something to be decided right away? My philosophy is generally do I like this person enough / having enough fun to see them one more time? Do I know it's not going to work out? I'm generally not a head over heels type of person and even when I am excited about someone, I'm not that effusive.

    I think you're more risk averse than I am though on the coronavirus so I don't how that will play out. I've had dinner with a couple of people outdoors before. And I feel like you are not comfortable with that and would want me to quarantine

    This is how I the conversation went later that evening:

    ME:
    Well... since you're in doubt, and because I find you charming, smart, attractive, and funny, I think we owe ourselves at least one more meetup to make sure. And Covid protocols thus far have been A+ Free this weekend?

    SHANDA:
    It appears you are the effusive type lol

    ME
    Somebody's gotta do it 😅

    SHANDA:
    Ok! Let's meet again! I'm not sure about this weekend though. Can I let you know later or would you prefer to make firm plans for the following weekend?

    ME:
    Let's shoot for this weekend if not too inconvenient for you, but keep next weekend as backup. Your profile said you like when someone can make plans, so how am I doing?

    SHANDA:
    Great! I appreciate it when people can set a time and place in advance. (When I know people better then I'm willing to be more fast and loose with plans.)

    ME:
    Should we both make & bring something small and delicious to eat and plan around that?

    SHANDA:
    What if I want something BIG and delicious? ;) That sounds good. I cant think about planning now, I have an application due on Friday so I am working on that right now.

    That was Monday evening, and I texted her every night just to banter and check in, she always replied promptly, and Id wrap it up after 2-3 texts to keep it short, if she didnt give me a ok good night! hint first.

    So last night, we met for an urban walk and an outdoor sit-down dinner (we both were too busy to make food for this outing, and this was my first meal not made by myself since March!) for about 2.5 hours. And it was exactly the same as ever: cordial, fun, decent if not exciting conversation, and nothing physical. In short, things still felt like a first date even though it was our 4th.

    Before I left, I said Id like to see her next weekend and she just kinda smiled a noncommittal ok!"

    Im not going to text her today, just to see if she decides to contact me first, which I doubt she will. But I'll text her tomorrow night about meeting up next weekend.

    That said, I'm keeping other options open when/if they materialize. Covid or no, I feel like Im her back-up activity partner, so that is the position she will occupy for me as well.

    -------------

    Speaking of which, DAKOTA also texted me a couple of days ago to check in.

  3. #7093
    Bronze Member Eliza50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by NorthDallas40

    Before I left, I said Id like to see her next weekend and she just kinda smiled a noncommittal ok!"

    Im not going to text her today, just to see if she decides to contact me first, which I doubt she will. But I'll text her tomorrow night about meeting up next weekend.
    I would leave it up to her to contact me about the next date. I think that after 4 dates she knows if she's interested or not.

  4. #7094
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    I would leave it up to her to contact me about the next date. I think that after 4 dates she knows if she's interested or not.
    Great advice- I agree!

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  6. #7095
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    So last night, we met for an urban walk and an outdoor sit-down dinner (we both were too busy to make food for this outing, and this was my first meal not made by myself since March!) for about 2.5 hours. And it was exactly the same as ever: cordial, fun, decent if not exciting conversation, and nothing physical. In short, things still felt like a first date even though it was our 4th


    because it sorta was.....the first "actual" date.
    I think she is a sensible woman who is not someone to rush into something and crash and burn
    I don't think any sensible woman is looking to jump in the sack right now with someone new.
    Who knows, if you put aside your need for the physical a little longer, it could turn out to be great. Or not.

  7. #7096
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    I think she is a sensible woman who is not someone to rush into something and crash and burn
    I don't think any sensible woman is looking to jump in the sack right now with someone new.
    Who knows, if you put aside your need for the physical a little longer, it could turn out to be great. Or not.
    I think so, too.

  8. #7097
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    As planned, I texted SHANDA this past Monday night, asking about her sister's bday gathering the day before, and since she told me on our date the she had just submitted some poems to a contest, I asked if she ever shared her poems.

    She replied immediately with 5 texts describing their bday activities (with a photo of a pumpkin patch they visited), telling me she shared her poetry with two friends to help with the contest submission, and giving me suggestions about resolving a crawlspace odor I'm having at my apartment which we had discussed on the date.

    I replied with a photo of a puppy we saw on the date, some smalltalk, and hinting at her sending me a poem.

    She loved the photo, said the puppy was adorable, and gave me a list of 4 poem titles she wrote. She told me to pick one, then to give her an honest but gentle critique of it before she said she was going to bed. I saw this is as a good sign since she was basically putting me on the hook for at least two more responses.

    The next day I texted her the title I chose, and hinted that I'd like to read more than one.

    She said that she'd send me more poems if I'd send her more cute animal pics. I told her that I'd just taken some of the new kitten next door with its canine sibling, so we could work it out.

    She then asked for my email address (which she already had, but whatever), and sent me a poem last night.

    Luckily it was good, and I told her so, adding I'd send my full impressions later. She asked for a cute animal pic in return.

    I'll follow up with her tonight, and see if she's up for date #5 this weekend.

  9. #7098
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Nice.

    Too bad there's not a thumbs up emoji.

  10. #7099
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    I just sent SHANDA my poem analysis, next-door pet photo, and invitation to meet up this weekend.

    She replied back ten minutes later with a "loved an image" for the photo, said "I would like to see you again (smile emoji)" but that this weekend is too busy for her (cleaning Sat + driving parents around Sun), and asking me which poem I'd like to read next.

    So this is decent in-between-date communication that's usually a good sign.

    Still, it doesn't mean I've got any guarantee I'll graduate from "platonic activity partner" anytime soon, if at all.

    But for a pandemic, I'll take it.

  11. #7100
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    I replied to SHANDA's Wed night text the next morning (yesterday), telling her which poem I'd like to read next.

    She sent me the poem around 730pm last night, then before I responded, she texted me again around 8:45pm complaining about her neighbors having a non-covid-safe party, and asked for another pet photo.

    I replied at 9:20pm with a positive review of her poem and a cat pic with a joke about it.

    She texted back immediately that the cat pic was funny, and she was going to bed, which is how she usually ends our text convos whether its 9:30pm or 11pm.

    Kinda felt like she was throwing cold water on the convo, but who knows. That was last night, I'll text her tonight.


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