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Thread: Online Dating for the 2nd Time - A Journal

  1. #7021
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    Any updates ND? I hope you had a happy new year!

  2. #7022
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    So I’m single again.

    NEELA and I last hung out on January 4… and a few days later I broke up with her via text, which I apologized for. The next day she texted back amicably to respect my decision. That makes about 5 months that we were seeing each other. We haven’t spoken since.

    The reason? I just didn’t enjoy hanging out with her.

    Yes, she was attractive, sweet, affectionate, reliable, a decent cook, good in bed, a good person (I think), available & present, enjoyed seeing my bands (I’m in three now!) and was clearly interested in me as more than just a hookup.

    But… she drank too much (sometimes starting at 10am and continuing until she’d be slurring her speech that evening), had a fairly apathetic/negative outlook about life, had no real interests/passions/hobbies other than work & family (both of which she complained about constantly), always had excuses not to hike so we'd just stay indoors (she didn’t want to be in the sun), and ended up being bored by activities even *she* suggested, like board games or ice skating.

    And even though that pretty much left just eating, sex and TV as often our only activity options, she was so picky about TV shows and movies (which she didn’t really like at all), that we started at least 5-6 different TV series (on her suggestion) that she just got bored by the 6th to 12th episode, leaving me stranded midseason of Korean dramas like VAGABOND and REPLY 1988 because she didn’t want to watch them anymore.

    We’d also watch movies I’d tell her ahead of time that I loved, or meant a lot to me, and she’d casually say 30 minutes in “I don’t like this “ or “this is boring,” which was irritating to say the least.

    And even though NEELA initiated sex often, our last time was really bad: she wanted to 69 with me, and - probably because she’d been drinking all day, urinating a lot, and doesn’t shave down there - her privates smelled so badly of urine that I almost gagged. Total turnoff.

    But the main problem is just that we didn’t have anything in common, and I didn’t enjoy her company. It got so bad that my stomach would get queasy when we had plans to hang out, and I actually looked forward to being by myself.

    So we’re done.

    Anyway, I’d taken all the dating apps off my phone a few months ago, and I haven’t re-installed them yet. I’m just not interested in dating at the moment. I’m happy just playing in my three bands (my main one where I’m the bandleader and write most of the material, and two existing ones where I just play keys) and not worrying about sharing my time with someone I don’t really like that much.

  3. #7023
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    That is very very cool that you're in three bands -is that typical or most just are (or only can handle) one?

    We’d also watch movies I’d tell her ahead of time that I loved, or meant a lot to me, and she’d casually say 30 minutes in “I don’t like this “ or “this is boring,” which was irritating to say the least.

    That's exactly what our son does most often when my husband wants to share a movie he loved either as a child, or after, or it's a classic -and it's irritating - but the last time it happened he was 9 years old so...... kids. But no, I wouldn't like it either with an adult. I do remember kind of suffering through Clockwork Orange (I know everyone is supposed to love it -just couldn't get into it but I did see the whole thing with my then boyfriend).

  4. #7024
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    And even though NEELA initiated sex often, our last time was really bad: she wanted to 69 with me, and - probably because she’d been drinking all day, urinating a lot, and doesn’t shave down there - her privates smelled so badly of urine that I almost gagged. Total turnoff.
    oh yuck. that's pretty bad.

    Anyway, you gave it a try. Hugs. Hope you find a good match.

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  6. #7025
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    I reinstalled the dating apps this week. Got about 10 matches, and am actively chatting with about 5 of them, none of whom I'm terribly enthused about. Went on a hike and had dinner with DAKOTA yesterday since I turned down her offer to go on a 5-day bus vacation earlier this month

  7. #7026
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    Is she still married? Why does her husband not care?

  8. #7027
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by annie24
    Is she still married? Why does her husband not care?
    It was a phony marriage, I remember. She wasn't even in the country legally. I remember because I asked ND if it bothered him knowing that about her and he defended it with saying she deserved to be in the US more than Trump. That stuck in my brain.

  9. #7028
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    Originally Posted by itsallgrand
    It was a phony marriage, I remember. She wasn't even in the country legally. I remember because I asked ND if it bothered him knowing that about her and he defended it with saying she deserved to be in the US more than Trump. That stuck in my brain.
    I predict she will stay married as long as she needs to to establish as legit in the country and divorce if she knew ND would marry her and immediately marry him. But I have been known to be wrong. I am wondering why she didn't propose to ND in the first place.

  10. 03-13-2020, 06:12 PM

  11. 03-19-2020, 05:09 AM

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