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Thread: Online Dating for the 2nd Time - A Journal

  1. #6991
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    I agree with ND. "Rejection" is the term he used because there ultimately wasn't a second date. Whatever reason, either he or they didn't accept.

    I *personal* feel like ND writes women off too quickly - but he knows himself better than I do, and he knows how he's attracted to women. If his initial instinct is "I'm not excited about it" (which seems to happen more often than not), but still goes through with a date, then he's still giving it a shot. He's allowed to have whatever standards he wants.
    Yes I agree that he is entitled to his own standards and I think some of the commentary comes from having those standards and then the complaints or frustration he shares about challenges in finding a good match. I've commented in that vein in the past. Others did this time. I use and experience the term "rejection" differently than you described and when someone doesn't accept something whether a date or a friendship gesture I don't feel "rejected" or view it as a "rejection" -agree with BC on that one. We may have different meanings of rejection including different experiences of how intense a term it is.

  2. #6992
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    After giving me periodic but regular text/photo updates on her trip, NEELA got back from Europe last week and we went out last Friday after she texted "I'm glad we reconnected." We had dinner, comedy club, back to my place, sex 3 times that night, 2 times the next morning, and she left the next afternoon.

    We still don't have much in common, but we had fun, the sex was way better, we were more comfortable with each other and there was no weirdness.

    That morning I also introduced her to one of my favorite all-time TV shows HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET (an earlier effort from the creators of THE WIRE), and since it had a couple of crossovers with one of her favorite shows LAW & ORDER, she was hooked. Hooked to the point that she jokingly got irritated that I wouldn't let her borrow the DVDs when I drove her home. I joked that I was using them as bait for her to return. She said I didn't have to do that in order to get another date.

    To that point, she came over this past Wednesday night, I made dinner (which she liked), we cuddled and kissed while watching some more episodes, and I drove her home; no sex. I told her to let me know if she wanted to get together this weekend, and within one minute she smiled "I'd like to get together this weekend."

    She just now agreed to bring takeout food to my place tonight, and to go on a short hike tomorrow.

  3. #6993
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    Do you think she's growing on you?

  4. #6994
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    Usually lots of sex....makes one 'grow' on each other...throw in some good food and cuddling on the couch with the tube...and who knows what magic might happen!!! lol

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  6. #6995
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    Originally Posted by Realitynut
    Usually lots of sex....makes one 'grow' on each other...throw in some good food and cuddling on the couch with the tube...and who knows what magic might happen!!! lol

    Decades-long marriages have endured on far less.

  7. #6996
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    You got that right!!! I'd be thrilled with good sex....cuddles on the couch....and watching Dancing with the Stars!!!!!!! lol

  8. #6997
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    Since my last entry…

    On Friday Sept 27, NEELA came over for pizza & HOMICIDE episodes at my place, we went hiking and got lunch the next day, and all was good. No weirdness, no disagreements about anything, had sex about five times.

    However, she was buzzed when she came over on Friday, we both drank wine and smoked weed that night, and though I remained sober the next day, she had two beers at 11am with breakfast before our hike. A bit concerning.

    On Wed Oct 2 she came over for Indian food and HOMICIDE episodes, and spent the night before going to work the next day. Unfortunately she doesn’t fall asleep easily, and doesn’t hide her frustration while I’m sleeping, namely huffing and puffing, talking, and tossing & turning the whole time.

    This past Fri Oct 4 we met for dinner with a couple from her work. They came from a happy hour so were already a bit buzzed. After dinner, NEELA told me she didn’t even like the girl. We smoked weed before the comedy club, had 2 mandatory drinks at the show, then went home.

    During sex, however, she got upset so I stopped. She later explained she didn’t like having sex with her panties still on and pulled to the side. I didn’t think much of it, but was disappointed because that’s the whole point of lingerie IMO.

    Again there was her insomnia, but less pronounced this time; I actually got a good night’s sleep.

    The next morning she had a glass of wine around 10:30am, we watched more HOMICIDE episodes, and she had three more beers before I took her home around 6pm. I was sober the whole time.

    But again we had sex with her panties on and this time she not only stopped cold, reiterating she didn’t like that, but also started crying, got dressed and almost left on the spot. I apologized profusely, told her I’m curious why this bothers her but I wasn’t going to pry, she got over it fast, and we had sex soon after with no more hitches. She’s very affectionate and sweet to me overall, with a few barbed criticisms from time to time that could be joking, or maybe serious; can’t really tell.

    Anyway, NEELA is coming over for dinner tonight, and all is good… but her drinking gives me pause (though she doesn’t act badly while buzzed), and the “no panties during sex” thing makes we wonder whether she’s pining for a past lover who used to do it, or traumatized by a past assaulter who did the same thing.

    Humans… what a piece of work we are.

  9. #6998
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    I would find the day drinking odd and a bit concerning - even when I was around alcohol regularly I only dated one guy who drank (beer) during the day from what I could tell and he had a drinking problem turned out.

  10. #6999
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    Beers before a hike???? :o

  11. #7000
    Platinum Member Realitynut's Avatar
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    I don't date drinkers. And almost crying over the panties thing....seems like an assault issue. Ya know...only wanting sex...don't have time to take off the undies....that sort of thing. I myself would hate it....


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