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Thread: Online Dating for the 2nd Time - A Journal

  1. #6721
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    Dinner & comedy club with SHOKA last night went great! She's a really great conversationalist, looks as good as her photos/videos, smiled a lot, kept good eye contact, was smart & wtitty & friendly... the works. We talked a lot about our families, which was interesting - she's half Taiwanese/Caucasian, raised Mormon, but has been liberal and irreligious since she was a teen.

    Despite the bonding, however, I didn't feel enough from her to go in for a kiss when I dropped her off.

    But by the time I got home, she had texted me to not forget about the leftovers in my car, which we had joked about earlier.

    So I texted back asking if she'd like the opportunity to give me that advice again sometime this week.

    She replied "Of course" and even said she had some new release DVDs we could watch, which sounded like an invite to her place to me.

    So we texted more today, and I suggested we could also go out for dinner and then a quiet bar to play board games, which she had said she liked playing. Joking texts ensued as well, which I liked.

    I called her tonight to figure out plans and it turns out she had meant coming to MY place to watch the movies! Though this was a great sign, I really need to clean up my place and organize some stuff, and told her so.

    Luckily she was amenable to the restaurant & bar idea, and even said she had a new card game we could play that she hadn't tried yet. She said it wasn't a competition game, but more of a "getting to know you" type of thing.

    Works for me :)

  2. #6722
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    Dinner with SHOKO and playing her icebreaker card game at a cozy basement-style trendy bar was great last night yet again. She really listens, has interesting things to say, knows a lot about movies and loves geeking out on them and we seem to have the same outlook on life, veganism aside. I gave her a couple of brief good-bye kisses at the end of the night and boy does she have some nice soft lips.

    After some communication SNAFUs today (this morning she texted a profuse apology for something she said last night but which I have no recollection, and before I could respond, I had lost my phone for the day), as of tonight SHOKO agreed to date #3!

  3. #6723
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    cool!!! sounds like it is going well so far!!! :)

  4. #6724
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    Though I haven't seen her for 4-5 days, SHOKA and I have been texting regularly every day, joking a lot and telling each other what's going on in our lives.

    Luckily, after I cleaned my apartment from top to toe this weekend - including getting all new bedding - SHOKA confirmed for our date tomorrow night... and chose coming over to my place for takeout and a movie as our activity

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  6. #6725
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    Digging Shoka

  7. #6726
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    SHOKA was about 20 minutes late getting to my place last night (no explanation) but she was in good spirits so we had fun chatting then watching a movie. We didn’t get physical during the flick, but we did sit close together and at one point she rested her head on my shoulder for awhile.

    Afterwards, we sat on the sofa with my legs/arm draped over hers, and we talked about the movie and other general topics. She asked me if I had dated Asian women before, then asked how many. When I responded, I could see a bit of skepticism/suspicion on her face, but conversation naturally pivoted to other things with no incident. Eventually I gave her couple of kisses, and though she kissed back, she didn’t really encourage any escalation.

    She stayed over til almost 1am talking, then since it was raining, I drove her to her car. I gave her a couple more kisses, asked her to go hiking, she asked if she could bring her dog, I said of course, and we said goodbye.

    So I dunno. Things are escalating slightly, but not at the speed I’d expect from someone who’s truly into me. I’m totally up for a 4th date but I’m not counting on it going anywhere; even for just a 3rd date, she only seems halfway invested at this point. Feeling friendzone-ish.

    ————————————

    I didn’t check my phone while SHOKA was over, so I looked at it when I got back from dropping her off. And there was a text from SHAY, who had sent it right after SHOKA arrived.

    Her message was a screenshot of the A STAR IS BORN video menu, with the message “Never got to watch it in theater. Hope it’s as good as everyone says it is…”

    I texted back this morning “Next time make it an invite, not a status report (sunglasses emoji)"

  8. #6727
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    So maybe she is a little put off and concerned about your dating history with Asian women?

  9. #6728
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    So maybe she is a little put off and concerned about your dating history with Asian women?
    Of course this could be the case, and perhaps it is. Her prerogative.

    Though in my experience, most of the women who a) were bothered by "yellow fever" but b) seemed on board with me *before* learning about my dating history still continued to see me, or even asked to take them out of the friendzone! The topic amounted to little more than a blip, not even a bump, in the road.

    I just think SHOKA likes me as a kindred spirit and fun conversation partner, but isn't 100% attracted to me physically, or has some other issue apart from my dating history.

  10. #6729
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    Neither SHOKA nor I texted each other today until about 4pm when I asked her about hiking this Saturday. She replied about 30 minutes later that it's supposed to be damp & muddy. No offer of an alternate plan.

    I'll suggest something else to do, but I'm pretty sure she's made the decision that Date #3 was Date #Last.

  11. #6730
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    I texted SHOKA about doing something non-weather-dependent instead on Saturday, and she said "sure" but that she'd have to get back to me about how much time she has available this weekend since she has a class to prepare for on Tuesday.

    I texted back for her to let me know, and that I was also available Fri & Sun nights.

    My gut tells me that Date #4 won't happen at all, though.


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