Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 5 of 702 FirstFirst ... 2345678 ... LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 7019

Thread: Online Dating for the 2nd Time - A Journal

  1. #41
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Age
    49
    Posts
    1,664
    Gender
    Male
    I messaged 10 more girls on OKC today, only 4 have been opened so far.

    - But I got one response from MOLLY that was playful and said "You seem very interesting." I emailed back a flirtatious but nice response and suggested talking on the phone this evening, and I got a really original brush-off: "Would it be ok I randomly called you one day? Just not today but I do prefer chatting instead of emailing." Needless to say I'm not holding my breath.

    - I also looked up JOY on FB (Note - I've been using aliases for everyone here on ENA to protect the innocent AND the guilty, but she has a very unusual name; it took 5 seconds to find her) and saw that we had some friends in common. So it might have been risky, but I sent her a brief message about our mutual friends, making a joke about being stalkerish and giving her my full name as a quid pro quo. I figure that if she was genuine about calling me in 10 days, now she has way to find out more about me and verify with our friends that I'm a stand-up guy in the meantime. She didn't reply, and I won't contact her further for another 10 days unless she initiates.

    - Tonight EDNA agreed to meet on Wednesday for dinner.

    - And Darcy you'll be happy to hear that I just got off a 30 minute phonecall with JEANETTE and we made tentative plans to meet next weekend. Though I have to admit that I'm not really feeling 100% sold on her. I had to carry most of the conversation (as usual), which can be PAINFUL on a phone call.

    Especially when I tell a funny/interesting story and it's met with a mere "OK." Or when I ask a question about *her* and her reply contains as little information as humanly possible. She did laugh at my jokes and seems to enjoy talking with me (I think), but it's really tough trying to do all the heavy lifting.

    So I think date #3 will be the make-or-break. That all said, she hasn't logged on to OKC since we last messaged each other on it 4 days ago, so I seriously doubt another guy is in the picture... though you never know.

  2. #42
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    United States
    Age
    38
    Posts
    31,720
    Gender
    Female
    Is Jeanette the one that turned her cheek when you went in to kiss her? Ugh. If so, I'm sorry you called her. Waste of time.

  3. #43
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Age
    49
    Posts
    1,664
    Gender
    Male
    Approaching OKC burnout.

    I think I'm going to give things on OKC about 2-3 weeks, and if nothing pans out (including JEANETTE), I'll give WYNN a call and hope she's open to talking again. She's a girl I dated throughout January who I liked a LOT, but I had some relatively superficial issues with being more serious at the time.

    Because now I have some distance/closure from my breakup from KATE in November, and I'm getting some very sobering perspective through this whole OKC process. Rather than aiming for the stars for a possibly nonexistent "perfect woman," I'm probably better off with a girl who, though not as attractive as my ex, is pretty damn close - and is even more compatible personalitywise than Kate was. I just need to make sure that my perspective has changed for good - I don't want to disappear on Wynn again.

    Anyway , I sent a couple more new messages last night, and got a couple of non-serious responses:

    - DIDN'T REVEAL NAME - She responded after 25 minutes and used a lot of exclamation points, but said exactly what this movie fan didn't need to hear, which I'm assuming was 100% intentional: "I'm not big into TV and movies as I cannot sit still for more than 10 minutes! (like a 10 yr old)." Next.

    - TINA - responded after 4 days being offline with "Where have you been hiding?" which sounded both inviting/flirtatious... and totally cut-and-paste. I replied flirtatiously & cleverly, but don't expect a reply.

    I have to admit that these non-committal replies I've been getting lately are irritating; I'd far prefer no response at all. I was wondering why women even bother sending out replies when they're clearly not interested, and then I came accross this link:

    link removed

    The gist of the article is to encourage women on OKC to ALWAYS reply to EVERY message - no matter how douchebaggy - so that their "response rate indicator" will remain green instead of red. The idea being that men are intimidated by women who rarely reply (red), but are more likely to message those that reply frequently (green).

    Personally I think this is an erroneous assumption; I've gotten replies back from "reds" several times, and when I see "green" on a profile, very often the woman is unattractive. After extensive experience on OKC, I see red and think "selective," I see green and think "desperate." Just being honest here.

    So my advice is completely opposite to that link.

    Ladies, please make it easy on everyone and DON'T REPLY UNLESS YOU'RE INTERESTED!

  4. #44
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Age
    49
    Posts
    1,664
    Gender
    Male
    Work was slow today (as it's been for the past week or so) and we're allowed to use our downtime as we please. So I just sent out 23 new OKC messages, and pared my favorites list down to 8 pages. Getting there.

    Some interesting observations:

    - One of my recipients hadn't logged on in weeks, but logged in 20 minutes after receiving my message, visited my profile... but never read my note!

    - I got an unsolicited message this morning around 8:30am from a woman who's visited my profile several times over the past weeks... and 7 hours later her profile had been taken down.

  5.  

  6. #45
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    United States
    Age
    38
    Posts
    31,720
    Gender
    Female
    I don't know ... if I were Wynn I wouldn't be interested (given what you said). It basically sounds like you view her as second choice beacuse you are tired and that you do not view her as a person who is AS attractive as your ex. I would not personally want that.

  7. #46
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    34
    what does it mean when a girl logs in but does not read your message. Has this happened to you?

    what's so hard about opening a message and then ignoring it. At least open it lol.

  8. #47
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Age
    49
    Posts
    1,664
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by bf3junkie
    what does it mean when a girl logs in but does not read your message. Has this happened to you?
    This happens all the time.

    Keep in mind that some (most) women are getting TONS of messages a day, so it's easy for some to slip through.

    And some women might just see the photo, know they're not interested, and never bother opening the message.

    *Very* occasionally I'll wait until a girl is back online, and re-send a message that wasn't opened previously. That usually gets them to read it... but doesn't necessarily mean they'll reply!

  9. #48
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    United States
    Age
    38
    Posts
    31,720
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by NorthDallas40
    Keep in mind that some (most) women are getting TONS of messages a day, so it's easy for some to slip through.
    Not really true.

  10. #49
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    34
    do many people use email notification? Maybe they don't need to login to read your message, they can read them at their own email address

  11. #50
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Age
    49
    Posts
    1,664
    Gender
    Male
    I really want to get this whole OKC thing out of the way, so I sent another 23 messages and now have my favorites list down to 3 pages.

    I received 2 replies this evening, but as has been the trend, they were short and non-committal.

    bf3junkie: It's possible people are reading the messages offline, but to be honest it's not worth worrying about. If a message goes unread, 95% of the time it's probably by choice.

    Darcy: I get what you're saying about Wynn, but as the saying goes, "when you settle down, you settle for." And I believe that, for all the positives & negatives it entails.

    Kate was fantastically pretty, tall, stylish & young. But she left me. And as the months have gone by, I realize that I'm not likely to get a woman as attractive as her anytime soon. And if I do, it will probably be *very* temporary... because pretty women are able to pick, choose & "trade up." That's part of the perspective I've gotten 6 months post-BU. I've gone from thinking that we had a great lifelong romance to thinking that hey, I just was lucky to have a hot (and really great) girlfriend for a year. That's more than most guys get.

    On the other hand, Wynn is quite attractive herself, stylish in her own way, as good in bed (and as smart/dependable/stable/well-mannered, etc.) as my ex... with the added bonus that we actually have more in common than I did with Kate! Not a day goes by that I don't think about reconciling. And if the OKC experiment doesn't pan out, I think I'll *really* appreciate having her back... if she takes me. Even now as I message some of these women, I see Wynn log in and think "Man, I should just try with her again and forget bothering with these other chicks who don't even care."

    Is Wynn as attractive as Kate? No. But do I appreciate her other great traits enough to make up for that? If I end up calling her back, I'm going to make damn sure the answer is yes.

Page 5 of 702 FirstFirst ... 2345678 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •