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Thread: Online Dating for the 2nd Time - A Journal

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by bebeblondie
    Ok but that's your bf, everyone is different, I wouldn't mind a guy texting me to ask for second date...maybe the details can be planned out over the phone, but even so I don't think that's necessary
    Actually you bring up a good point. I try to set first dates over the phone, but I like to offer multiple activity options. So once the date is set, I like to send a PM/email with the activities in question, along with Yelp links so they can make a better decision. Just easier to do in a text format IMO.

    Originally Posted by bebeblondie
    . As for the six-hour date, if you're having fun and it feels right, why not?
    Totally agree. And the last hour of the date was actually her addition. We could have wrapped things up sooner, but she wanted to get tea after we walked, and we chatted for a long time as we drank them. I'm sure the under-the-table footrub encouraged her to add a few extra minutes as well

  2. #32
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bebeblondie
    Ok but that's your bf, everyone is different, I wouldn't mind a guy texting me to ask for second date...maybe the details can be planned out over the phone, but even so I don't think that's necessary

    I agree but like you said doesn't sound like anybody here is doing "important communication" texting, so this is pretty irrevlevant.

    Thursday for Saturday isn't that bad, I mean Wednesday is ideal, but I wouldn't decline a date just because the guy asked on Thursday instead of Wednesday. As for the six-hour date, if you're having fun and it feels right, why not? I think when people place way too many rules and regulations on dating that's when you fall into the category of "nobody's good enough for me".
    I think this is funny coming from someone who obsessed about a guy who you thought was sending pity texts. If I recall, that didn't work out very well.

    I am sure there are lots of girls who would not mind guys texting them from the beginning all the time. It doesn't foster good communication - as you learned through your last experience.

    I don't think you can go wrong making a deliberate effort to show a young lady that you view them as a lady and not a text buddy or as a last-minute option. I think it's better to err on the side of planning a date ahead, calling and keeping dates short versus the other side. This doesn't mean you cannot follow-up with an email or a text. It just means picking up the phone for the invitation.

    But again, we disagree as to whether or not one should get intimate on a first/second date.

    Also, I have had four bfs (current included) and all have called me for a date before we were official. All very different guys with the common trait of treating me very well.

  3. #33
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    Out of the 32 new messages I sent this weekend, here's the results:

    22 - No reply
    5 - Unopened
    1 - Person closed their account

    But I did receive 4 replies last night:

    MARINA - She asked a couple of quick questions about my profile but didn't reply to my response. Seems like a dead end, which is ok with me.

    SYLVIA - She was impressed with some specific things I mentioned about her profile, and seemed game to chat further. But I'm a bit on the fence about replying as I'm not sure I'm 100% interested. That's what happens when you've already messaged your first choices and start working down the list

    VERA - She sent a short & somewhat silly reply, indicating that she likes talking rather than writing. I PM'd her my phone number a few minutes ago and said I'm free to talk tonight. I don't expect a reply.

    JOY - This woman was new to the site and I definitely thought she had the most potential before I PM'd. She sent a fairly lengthy reply, noting that we had a lot in common and that I was the first person she'd talked to on the site. She specifically said "I'm intrigued... Let's keep chatting!" so I wrote back an equal-length reply with my phone number, saying I was free to talk that evening. She didn't reply, but coincidentally while I was writing this entry she just messaged "I'm on a business trip for the next week and a half, so I can call you when I get back! Look forward to speaking to you then!" so that's hopeful. I pm'd a quick "Sounds good, have a safe trip!" and will message her again in 10 days if I don't hear from her first.

    Interestingly, one particularly good (and cute!) match had a photo gallery only viewable by people on *her* favorites list, which I had no idea OKC allowed you to do. So I'm assuming I was on her list and I'm really hoping for a reply; like Joy, she seemed like probably the best match out of the 32.

    Hopefully a few more replies will trickle through tonight; some people tend to wait 24-48 hours before replying.

    ----------------------------

    As for the existing conversations, no reply from AMY so that's probably a dead end.

    And EDITH pm'd back saying that she's not really ready to be in a relationship, but is ok meeting as friends. I'm cool with that too, so we're working on meeting for dinner this week, and she said she's game to go to movies with me when she's free.

    Lastly, right before lunch I texted JEANETTE an appetizing photo of some sushi I made last night with a short "have a good lunch!" message. I'm going to call her tonight in hopes of setting up a date this week.

  4. #34

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    I'd skip Edith. Who signs up for a dating site if they don't want to date? You really see a legit friendship resulting? One that won't cause problems for any relationship you get Into in the future?

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  6. #35
    Bronze Member Nightdriver's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pl3asehelp
    I'd skip Edith. Who signs up for a dating site if they don't want to date? You really see a legit friendship resulting? One that won't cause problems for any relationship you get Into in the future?
    Agreed.

    I personally wouldn't waste further time/money on Edith.

  7. #36
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    good read. I was wondering how do you tell your date that you'll want to remain good friends and hang out but not as romantic partners?

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    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
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    I would totally pass on Edith.

  9. #38
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    Originally Posted by NorthDallas40
    Out of the 32 new messages I sent this weekend, here's the results:

    22 - No reply
    5 - Unopened
    1 - Person closed their account
    That's somewhat similar to my response ratio. Initiate contact in some form thirty times; maybe three return it. Like you, I went after the most attractive women, so I knew I was fighting an uphill battle.

  10. #39
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    Originally Posted by pl3asehelp
    I'd skip Edith. Who signs up for a dating site if they don't want to date? You really see a legit friendship resulting? One that won't cause problems for any relationship you get Into in the future?
    My guess is she's not over an ex, or just doesn't find me attractive and is using that as an excuse. Either way, she was upfront about her feelings, which I appreciate. Besides, while I'm single I'm always down to meet new friends with no romantic involvement. In Edith's case, we have very similar music & movie tastes, and since I have couple's membership to a local repertory movie house it would be great to have a platonic companion so I don't have to go alone.

    And as far as the date goes, she already said we could go dutch, which I would agree to in this case.

    I've always had a lot of female friends anyway, and as I mentioned earlier in the thread, I'm now friends with a past OKC date. And I'm glad I am; she's a great activity partner and cool person to commiserate with over being single!

  11. #40
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    Originally Posted by bf3junkie
    good read. I was wondering how do you tell your date that you'll want to remain good friends and hang out but not as romantic partners?
    Email the next day and say "I had a great time with you last night, but I'd rather not pursue anything further than friendship at this point." Most of the time it ends in never talking again, but sometimes it does work out to really be friends later.

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