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wow..well im gonna be a single father.. joint custody and rights for father??


22n32

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well looks like i was used a sperm donor.. brief history.

 

on a wensday she told me she loved me.. next day she broke up with me and 2 days later she told me she was pregnant..

 

5 weeks later of NC.

 

she sends me a text.. i wanna be a single mother and do this alone and if u wanna be a part of childs life u can go thru the courts... wow

 

what a cold hearted caculated move.. she basically wants child to herself and money from me.. im utterly disgusted by this action..

 

how could a mother be so selfish and only care about her own intrest and put the jepordey of the well being of her child..

 

im a good person,no voilence, abuse or cheating.. always loved and cared for her.. first i would like us to be a family and be a good dad.. i know i cant make her love me or wanna be with me.. but to use our child as a pawn is disgusting..

 

i know courts lean alot towards the mother.. but im sadned by this action.. i know pretty much imposible for me to get sole custody but what about co parenting 50/50..

 

any advice, thoughts or exprencies is appricated..

 

sad soon to be dad

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Well first, do you even know that the baby is yours 100% without a doubt?
yes 100% sure..

 

I'd get in contact with a lawyer as soon as possible to find out what your rights are and what the process will need to be for you to access to your child.

yes i cant do anything till baby is born and then depending course of action she files is how i can react.. its sad to see courts are totaly favoring women only.. guys wanna be good dads too and some women are just crazy and courts just enable there action..

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Wow...

Well I would not delete any texts...the way it looks on paper is NOT good. If she thinks that if you did want to be involved that it would be difficult, well I dont think it would be unless she spun some lies.

I am so mad at her for you, what a cow.

Oh and how long were you together before this?

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I say forget about her, forget about support payment and forget about this baby until you are 100% sure the child is yours through paternity testing (after the birth). She's had absolutely nothing to do with you since announcing her "condition." As somone else said, you don't even know if its yours. When you speak to a lawyer about your rights... be sure to tell him/her that you don't know that the baby is even yours yet since she broke off with you suddenly when she found out she was pregnant. I know you don't want to believe that it may not be your's but the evidence indicates that it may not be.

 

Don't talk to her in writing again. Anything you say can and will be used against you because she's already shown you how mean and vindictive she can be. I'm not sure what happened between you two but she's not forgiving you anytime soon by the sounds of things..

 

I say: Stay away and talk to a lawyer so that she doesn't screw you around whether the baby is yours or not.

 

yes 100% sure..
You can't be 100% sure unless you've had a paternity test done.
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she def spun lies at her family about me.. shut me out so the truth isnt heard and played the victim so her family backed her action.. in a way enabling her action.. very very sad..

 

guys were more logical we just want the best for our kid.. she going off of emotions and trying to make it her own kid..

 

worst is she told me she wants a family and a child together and no matter what happens we will stick together and work it out.. guess what soon as she was pregnant.. im history..

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You can get a DNA test before the baby is born, so I have heard.

 

Interesting - in your prior thread you started, you talked about really wanting to be a dad. Did you not use protection with her, or was there a part of you that didn't care to because you DO want to be a dad? Past is past, but just something to ponder.

 

I would consult an attorney now to pick their brain and to see what your general rights might be.

 

You wanting to be with her is a totally separate issue. You can't be lenient in hopes she will come around to you.

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You can get a DNA test before the baby is born, so I have heard.

 

Interesting - in your prior thread you started, you talked about really wanting to be a dad. Did you not use protection with her, or was there a part of you that didn't care to because you DO want to be a dad? Past is past, but just something to ponder.

 

I would consult an attorney now to pick their brain and to see what your general rights might be.

 

yes i wanted to be a dad, we both wanted to be a family.. and she reassured me that we could work out anything because she wants a family.. its mine im 100% sure

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What was going on that she fled you and your relationship? I know you said you were "moody, depressed and pissed off about your business" if that was the case then why would you want to bring a baby around you when you were'nt in the best place emotionally to be a good dad? Anyway, water under the bridge now.. Call a lawyer.

 

How long were you together before she left?

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If the child is indeed yours (get that checked, regardless of how sure you are), never tell them the full story of how they came to be. In other words, leave out the "tricked into being a sperm-donor" part. If it's a boy, teach him to be careful around girls, and if it's a girl, teach her to never do something like that to a boy. But please, for the love of god, never drop that existential truth-bomb on them.

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I don't know why you were going No Contact when she was pregnant, not a mature move, but what is done is done.

They can't keep you from your child if you want to be a part of their life. Too bad for her. She should have found someone that didn't want a kid. She doesn't deserve to be a mother, in my opinion.

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I don't know why you were going No Contact when she was pregnant, not a mature move, but what is done is done.

They can't keep you from your child if you want to be a part of their life. Too bad for her. She should have found someone that didn't want a kid. She doesn't deserve to be a mother, in my opinion.

 

I tried first week to work it out and be cival mature adults.. but she ignored me. and week later her dad told me to go NC for a while so outa respect for her its what i did..

 

then i get that text 4 weeks later.. i was set up..

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You can't be kept away without good cause, and I'm talking seriously good cause.

 

Go through the courts when the child is born. Petition to establish paternity if you don't get to be there and sign the birth cert or AoP. You can request a DNA test. This process takes a few months, however - So by the time you have paternity established, then a separate action for support, and then visitation - She will have retained status quo...Which most judges will not disturb for no good reason. You will get visitation, though. Certainly. Please do it, once the child is here. I'm serious, whether or not you petition for a paternity test is on you, but don't be one of these parents who are just like "Well...She doesn't want me in the life, oh well." No. You have rights, get them established and exercise them, when the time comes.

 

There's nothing you can do now but just get your ducks in a row by talking to an attorney for the steps you need to take once the baby is born. She doesn't have to let you go to appointments, ultrasounds, anything like that. Nothing you can do legally at all right now.

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I am.. keeping all documents and texts.. i have been saying and texting only facts and good intentions for her and our child..

 

just cant believe someone can be so selfish and do this to there unborn child.. there was no cheating, lying, abuse.. we should be able to step up workout our diff and be a family.. very sad very sad..

 

i waited my whole life to start a family, so it doesnt have to go thru this.. and bamm.. women can be so heartless.. i dont get it..

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It's not women, it's individuals. Please don't. I have a 3 month old my ex has never met and never wanted to, you know my story. I think he's heartless, but he's not a reflection of men...You are a good example that negates that. And I am a good example. Try to keep this perspective, because there's many more out there like you and I. You do not want to be bitter at the rest of the world for one very sad person's actions.

 

And no, just because there was none of that doesn't mean that you guys need to be a unit in the style of partners. Broken up and divorced couples can and do co-parent every day. THAT'S the shame of it, that she's going to make it hard for you to do that. You will miss out on the first few months of your child's life, and it's not right.

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A friend of mine was just in this situation...his girlfriend left him while she was pregnant and wouldn't let him know how she was doing or anything, told him to leave her alone, etc.

 

Get an attorney, NOW. Do not wait until the child is born because you will be wasting time and missing precious moments of the first few months. Save proof of your communication and her intentions.

 

This baby is one half of you and you have just as many rights as she does.

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People lie. People say things that sound good in the moment. People change their minds.

 

Forget what she said now. The one positive thing about the space that's been created right now, is you can begin to work past the relationship end so you CAN be better equipped to work out a co-parenting relationship later on, sans the drama - At least on YOUR end.

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A friend of mine was just in this situation...his girlfriend left him while she was pregnant and wouldn't let him know how she was doing or anything, told him to leave her alone, etc.

 

Get an attorney, NOW. Do not wait until the child is born because you will be wasting time and missing precious moments of the first few months. Save proof of your communication and her intentions.

 

This baby is one half of you and you have just as many rights as she does.

 

wow thats sad.. sorry.. did it ever work out in good way.. or there still in the proccses?

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People lie. People say things that sound good in the moment. People change their minds.

 

Forget what she said now. The one positive thing about the space that's been created right now, is you can begin to work past the relationship end so you CAN be better equipped to work out a co-parenting relationship later on, sans the drama - At least on YOUR end.

 

yes i agree.. what i want is a family.. come home to kids and wife see my kid daily. not be a part time parent

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