Misanthrope Who Also Cares About Other People

I have alot of misanthropic feelings inside of me and while I know that I can't harm people myself, I feel "good" and righteous when bad things happen to other human beings on a large scale. To clarify what I mean if I see something sad on TV where some innocent person or group of people or even animal gets killed or hurt I do not feel good about it at all. However when I see large-scale natural disasters like Hurricane Sandy or Katrina or large attacks like 9/11, I feel like they are actually positive and good things, almost from a higher-level spiritual point of view. It's like I constantly see/hear all the horrible cruel things human beings do to each other all the time and this is some form of justice raining down on humanity. At the same time I have these feelings of misanthropy I'm also a very sensitive person who genuinely cares about other human beings especially people who are suffering or are in pain in some way. I feel bad/sad all the time when I see troubling things on TV or hear about sad situations. So how is this even possible and does it make me a bad person that I feel this way? What are your thoughts on what I'm saying?

I feel similar to you except for the whole tragedy thing. I think you are detached from events like 911 because they are just so big. Everyone in it is a number. But don't feel bad because I think if you knew sole of the scary, individual stories, you'd feel sad for them because you are sensitive.

I am definitely a misanthrope. I believe humans are inherently selfish. This includes myself. When I feel wronged, I usually assume manipulation or some profound stupidity on the other person's end. Many people do many stupid things that I just shake my head at. I don't have a whole lot of hope for the human race in the sense that I think we will all destroy each other before a cosmic event had the chance to.

I am not as phased by "evil" anymore because I understand now that all of the horrible, disgusting dehumanization that goes on is not from Satan or something inhuman.... It's human nature gone awry. Isn't that scary yet humbling? Humans are capable of the worst things you could think of.

But now I work in a hospital. And I like it. And I'm ENA with way too many posts and it's all helping people. I'm in a happy relationship. I don't need help from here too often, I just like to give it.

At the end of the day, human nature scares me, and I have very little faith in those around me, but I still give respect and treat people accordingly and contribute by relieving suffering. That includes not having children, for me. That is what I do. I don't know why, exactly. Wish I had a better answer for you. I guess I don't know what else to do but I do this because it makes life livable.

wow are human beings really that bad? i mean don't get me wrong i know there are ALOT of scumbag horrible people out there but after reading what you wrote i feel even more hopeless. i can't for the life of me understand some people - how they can be either so mean/cruel or so completely clueless/ignorant, it is truly MIND-BOGGLING, sickening, and scary. in my 28 years i've come accross so many examples of humans being just plain evil to each other. i was going to make a list here of many of the awful things i've seen humans do to each other but then i realized how long it would take me, and i'm not trying to be sardonic i'm serious that it would take me about an hour to put it together. the weird thing about me is that i'm wishing death on all these people and hating them but at the same time i would never do most of the tings these people to each other. so it's a weird sort of dynamic where i realize that i would act in a much more caring/moral/nicer way to other human beings, while at the same time i can't figure out why so many people are mean/immoral/clueless and so then i want them to all die. it's very strange, i think of it almost like a "spiritual misanthropy". does anyone else here understand where i'm coming from on this or am i the only person?

oh and as far as the 9/11 victims i agree with you. i know i would feel bad if i knew them on an individual level however i have to admit that i don't think i would feel too sorry for the greedy rich republican businessman who could care less about anyone except himself and his own family when he jumped to his death from 100 stories to the sidewalk below. much worse stuff happens EVERY DAY to completely innocent and good people.

oh and as far as the 9/11 victims i agree with you. i know i would feel bad if i knew them on an individual level however i have to admit that i don't think i would feel too bad for the greedy rich republican guy who could care less about anyone except himself and his family when he jumped to his death from 100 stories to the sidewalk below. far worse happens EVERY DAY to completely innocent people.

How old are you?

oh and as far as the 9/11 victims i agree with you. i know i would feel bad if i knew them on an individual level however i have to admit that i don't think i would feel too sorry for the greedy rich republican businessman who could care less about anyone except himself and his own family when he jumped to his death from 100 stories to the sidewalk below. much worse stuff happens EVERY DAY to completely innocent and good people.

My brother knew some of those people personally. He lost many friends in his industry that day.

That sounds like anger to me.

i agree but it's legitimate justified anger.

yet other people don't feel this way about humanity and that in turn makes me even angrier. it makes me feel like i'm the ONLY ONE who can see how cruel and mean human beings can be to each other...

i agree but it's legitimate justified anger. yet other people don't feel this way about humanity and that in turn makes me even angrier. it makes me fgeel like i'm the ONLY ONE who can see how cruel and mean human beings can be to each other.

In my opinion there is zero justification for being that angry at people you don't even know, just because they might be rich or have different political views that you feel they deserved to die at 9/11.

i agree but it's legitimate justified anger. yet other people don't feel this way about humanity and that in turn makes me even angrier. it makes me fgeel like i'm the ONLY ONE who can see how cruel and mean human beings can be to each other.

Oooh, you're talking to someone who can empathize with anger. lol. A little...too much.

What do you mean legit justified anger?? What exactly and who are you angry at??

Sometimes I get mad at random people and feel pissy towards them, but I know now, it isn't about that person. It's transference on my part. I once read a book about Vietnam vets (stories) and there was one story in there about a man sooo pissed off with what he had to witness (awfulness, awfulness) that he couldn't stop himself from twisting a little puppy's paw and hurting him. Transference in action. And in his account, he felt absolutely awful about it, because he didn't really want to hurt the puppy. He loved puppies. But this is how it manifested for him. His anger and pain.

My point is. It's pretty serious. ANd I'm glad you posted, and hope you don't get too much criticism for it. But I do think you should take it seriously, and know it is not ok. It's a sign - time to do something about this anger you have. I assume you aren't doing anything to harm anyone. You just think sometimes and it makes you feel good to see that people have been hurt. But that's enough. That's not healthy nor good for you.

Do you agree? Do you want to live with that as your reality and emotional life and truth?

i agree but it's legitimate justified anger.

 

yet other people don't feel this way about humanity and that in turn makes me even angrier. it makes me feel like i'm the ONLY ONE who can see how cruel and mean human beings can be to each other...

Other people are entitled to feel exactly how they want to feel. I would rather not be a bitter angry person.

i agree but it's legitimate justified anger.

 

yet other people don't feel this way about humanity and that in turn makes me even angrier. it makes me feel like i'm the ONLY ONE who can see how cruel and mean human beings can be to each other...

You're wrong. Other people do feel that way. You're hardly special in that regard. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're just not that unique, no matter how you feel.

People can be cruel to one another. And so can you.

just 2 examples i'll give in case people here are thinking to themselves "there's something wrong with this guy".

how often do you hear on TV about children being sexually abused? now how sick and evil do you have to be to do that to a child and yet it happens ALL THE TIME. so logically there has to be TONS of these vile human beings out there living there lives molesting little boys and girls.

how often (at least here in america) do you here on TV about innocent people serving 10, 15, 25 years in prison and then they're found to be innocent and the original prosecution was blatantly corrupt and biased. so basically there a group of human beings (prosecutors, judge) collaborating to put an INNOCENT MAN in jail for life. yet again that happens ALL THE TIME so clearly all these human beings are scum to do that to someone.

how often do you hear on TV about children being sexually abused? now how sick and evil do you have to be to do that to a child and yet it happens ALL THE TIME. so logically there has to be TONS of these vile human beings out there living there lives raping little boys and girls.

There aren't as many as you might think. That's the problem with the news. The media absolutely LOVES to highlight all the bad in the world, and yet there are tons of good people out there doing good things every day that you never hear about. It's a matter of distorted perception.

just 2 examples i'll give in case people here are thinking to themselves "there's something wrong with this guy".

 

how often do you hear on TV about children being sexually abused? now how sick and evil do you have to be to do that to a child and yet it happens ALL THE TIME. so logically there has to be TONS of these vile human beings out there living there lives molesting little boys and girls.

 

how often (at least here in america) do you here on TV about innocent people serving 10, 15, 25 years in prison and then they're found to be innocent and the original prosecution was blatantly corrupt and biased. so basically there a group of human beings (prosecutors, judge) collaborating to put an INNOCENT MAN in jail for life. yet again that happens ALL THE TIME so clearly all these human beings are scum to do that to someone.

I am one of those sexually abused kids at 6, 11,13 and date raped at 19. I am still not bitter.

You're wrong. Other people do feel that way. You're hardly special in that regard. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're just not that unique, no matter how you feel.

 

People can be cruel to one another. And so can you.

i disagree with that. i wouldn't be cruel to an innocent person like so many human beings are. you didn't "burst my bubble" you're just wrong.

There aren't as many as you might think. That's the problem with the news. The media absolutely LOVES to highlight all the bad in the world, and yet there are tons of good people out there doing good things every day that you never hear about. It's a matter of distorted perception.

If it bleeds, it leads.

If you are interested in healing, OP, I'm your girl. Otherwise, I don't think it's healthy to go on too much about all the awfulness out there (which is there is plenty of, yet as camus says, there is plenty of wonderful too).

This is your responsibility to deal with. That is the main point. Your emotions - your responsibility. Yes, I know it sucks and is hard sometimes.

If it bleeds, it leads.

 

If you are interested in healing, OP, I'm your girl. Otherwise, I don't think it's healthy to go on too much about all the awfulness out there (which is there is plenty of, yet as camus says, there is plenty of wonderful too).

 

This is your responsibility to deal with. That is the main point. Your emotions - your responsibility. Yes, I know it sucks and is hard sometimes.

I agree there is a lot of good in the world and I prefer to look at that.

I am one of those sexually abused kids at 6, 11, 13 and date raped at 19. I am still not bitter.

why though??? you SHOULD BE angry, that makes no sense.

why though??? you SHOULD BE angry, that makes no sense.

Why harm myself more than I have been? Will angry get me anywhere? Nope.

I really understand what you are writing OP.

Are you quite idealistic ? The anger is very much a manifestation of loss of control. I have a huge thing about injustice too and I often feel such disappointment at the choices people make..but it's not my call ya know? What else can you do but to see how you can work around it and find some peace.

What do you enjoy doing in your everyday life ?

Victoria..it breaks my heart everytime you write these things, noone deserves this, I know you're working through it all succesfully.

I don't understand why being a misanthrope = being angry.

I used to be angry. I am just not anymore. Accepting that people suck is liberating, not rage-producing. I have low expectations for most people which honestly makes my life a lot easier and I am unphased by things at work. I've been full put physically attacked at work by patients, but that sort of thing doesn't surprise me anymore.

The only time misanthropes are angry are when they aren't really misanthropes because they expect more of humanity. A true misanthrope is not angry. They accept that human nature sucks and then they move on and find their own happiness.

What do you enjoy doing in your everyday life ?

nothing really. i stay inside my house 24/7 and i enjoy watching TV and going on the internet because i'm afraid to go out into this horrible unjust evil world. i wish i could commit suicide but i'm too afraid to and besides i want to be around when the next sandy hook shooting or 9/11 style attack happens to see all these people get upset which i'm sure fudgie understands where i'm coming from on this. hope that's not saying too much but i can't understand how truly messed-up this world is. and then when these events happen people think they're so horrible and yet EVERY DAY people live in sexual slavery, or are in prison FOR LIFE and innocent, or are being raped or being tortured somewhere, and people get all worked up about some rich kids in connecticut dying at the hand of some wacko kid who's mom had MACHINE GUNS lying around the house. it's just ridiculous.

They were beautiful innocent kids how can you say that?????? THAT is awful and mean!

it's symbolic. i know they were innocent kids.