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Thread: I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place....

  1. #1
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    I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place....

    I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years and I love him dearly. We recently went through a rough patch and we've been trying to help each other as we're both suffering from Depression.
    About a month ago we had a big long chat about our relationship and since then, things have been great and we've made some lovely plans for Valentine's Day. But earlier this evening....I broke a plate. I broke his favourite plate. It was an accident but it triggered something horrible.

    My younger sister came round today. I'm trying to help her practice for an audition. When I broke the plate she saw my boyfriend flip out on me. Now I'm used to him overreacting in this way. It's very rare it happens, but he gets irrationally angry sometimes. He never lashes out at me or hit me or even calls me names....he just gets angry. Anyway, this upset my sister as she's currently going through some issues. While my boyfriend went in another room to simmer down she told me about her problems and I got quite upset as I never knew the things she was going through and I felt guilty for not being there for her.

    It came time for her to leave and I normally my boyfriend walks her home (she's only 17). I asked him this time as I thought the fresh air would do him some good. After a while I receive a phone call off my sister saying that they had an argument and he stormed off and left her. She was close to home but she was quite upset by it. My boyfriend came home and heard me talking to my sister.

    Throughout my 10 year relationship I've had to defend my boyfriend whenever a disagreement with my family comes up. I have another sister I no longer talk to because of complications at the start of my relationship. He gets agitated easily and argues a lot with my sister, brother and my mum. Particularly my mum. I have stuck up for both my family and my boyfriend time and time again. I love them both and I am sick of being made to choose all the time.

    During my rough patch with my boyfriend my mum told me to leave him. But I don't want to. My best friend seems to be the only one that sees the good in my boyfriend and she's the only one that's told me to stay with him. As we are a couple that works well together. We argue just like any couple does. But my family and him just can't seem to get along. It's tearing me apart.

    My boyfriend heard me mention to my sister that my mum wants me to leave him and he's stormed off again. I don't know how long he'll be gone for. I'm really worried. I love them both I don't want to choose!

  2. #2
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    He sounds like a huge jerk. He's mad at you over a plate? accidents happen. He doesn't get along with your family? i think you should let this one go.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member oldenoughtoknow's Avatar
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    Do you really want to live the rest of your life in the eye of a hurricane? I know ten years is a long time, but I was together with my ex for 22 years before I finally wised up and left. If you could only see how wonderful a normal relationship with a normal person can be, as I have, you wouldn't think twice about leaving him. Sometimes you hitch your wagon to a loser - don't let him waste anymore of your time.

  4. #4
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    Thanks for your posts guys, but he's my only friend right now. I only see my two other best friends twice a year. I don't know any other people. Since depression hit me I've not really had any kind of energy and I have no one I can talk to other than my boyfriend. I can't afford counselling. Though I think I need it.

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    I think you need to get a bigger support system. Find friends at organizations, church, volunteering, whatever!


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