Can't get Penis into my Girlfriends Vagina

Hi,

Basically I'ts a bit embarassing. My Girlfriend and I are both Virgins and we have been trying to have sex since May 2012. However everytime we get to it one of several problems arrises:

1) As soon as I put a condom on I lose my errection

2) If I manage to keep my errection, we can't get my penis to go inside no matter what position we try it in.

3) Even if we use lube this doesn't help as my Penis then just slips around and won't go in.

We are both beccoming increasingly upset by this and we have no idea how or even if it is going to work

Assuming you are both adults go to a sex specialist ... honestly! I am curious to see what other people say here

Yes we are both Adults. Both Mid 20s

have you tried lots of foreplay beforehand? sometimes you have to guide yourself in with your hand.

Yes, we have tried that. We always do foreplay before trying anything, and yes we both have tried to guide it in with hands but, obviously, with no sucsess.

Have you tried using a vibrator/dildo on your girlfriend? Work up to using it by inserting fingers, one by one..?

Yes we have a small vibrator, slightly longer then a middle finger and about 1.5 times then width of the finger, this goes in but as soon as we try to put my penis in it just wont go in

She may be clenching due to fear of it hurting. Although not necessarily a "good" suggestion, but how about drinking alcohol beforehand? To relax you both?

Neither of us want to involve alcohol in sex. We don't feel it would be right, and as neither of us really drinks I doubt it would help much

The only few times i had a problem with a penis not being able to enter...is if it not being HARD enough....imagine the difference between a cucumber (hard) and well....a weiner....it buckles before it has the strength to push on thru...

Also, this happened to me recently and i was shocked....TOO much lube and the guy wasn't all that big...he would get in...but it just like slid out....too slippery!

Why doesn't she go on the pill so you dont' have to put on a condom? More sensitive for you, and you might not lose the erection. I can't imagine trying that long and not being able to succeed....

Try a little bit bigger toy too....did you try all different kinds of angles? Doggy style is my fav.....lol....easy penetration...and feels pretty darn good too!!! GOOD LUCK!

Whatever information has in this post seems not enough to advice anything. If you are trying since May 2012, I feel it is a very long period. How could you control yourself without penetration? I think, two are essential requirement for penetration – first, hardness in your penis and second, enough passage in the vagina of your girlfriend which can accommodate your penis whatever may be its size. You should start finding the solution on these lines. If you are not much familiar with female anatomy than your girlfriend may guide you. Some time if vagina is very tight, even though little pressure with lube is enough to penetrate. Do not use condom for time being. I could not find any reason for this if everything looks normal and if everything is normal than it is not complex like rocket since. Have some patient,go for enough foreplay and after enough arousal,try for this.

we've disscussed Pills but never got around to actually getting them. We tried a few different angles but it never seems to go in. She says that on one ocasdion it went half way in, but I didn't feel this at all so I dont think it did.

If you read what I had said you would find that we have tried in eveeything you have said. i find your reply a little patronising to be frank.

Relax and take your time... The moment you start trying to force it to happen the less likly you will make it happen. Stop thinking about the actual act and more on how hot and sexy she is. More foreplay also make sure she's wetwetwet. I have actually never had sex with a virgin haha.. But if its too tight use lube(not too much a dime size) use your tongue or fingers to loosen her up. And as bad as it sounds sometimes you just need to force it in hahah but carefully and a bit at a time. A bit of alchohol will help with nerves but too much and whiskey **** hahaha have fun and remember ^^ nice guys finish last

Oh and about the hardness part. Im going to assume you are young and fit and have blood pumping strong. It's all nerves and it gets worse the more you try and fail. Have her give you a hj while you kiss her and when you are the hardest move your hip and try to get it in. You may have to be quick about it. The most important part is to not force it to happen. Just let it happen naturally. Lay and cuddle naked in bed as long as you guys need to to make it happen

I think your girlfriend should go to a doctor. It's highly likely that her hymen is still intact. Sometimes, some women need a bit of help with this by having the hymen removed surgically which is a simple procedure and done in a doctors surgery

It might also be anxiety from having tried and failed the first time. If you don't want to try alcohol then you perhaps could come up with some other way to relax. How often are you trying? If everything is regular then she may be clenching at the last minute. Does she seem anxious? It might be helpful to talk through it and get her to relax. after the first time it gets easier.

Since you say the lube makes you slip around and you can't get in, that makes me think you're not hard enough. That's not a problem though! Don't stress about this. Chances are, you tried once, it didn't work, and now you're psyching yourself out and your emotions are messing with your body.

Relax. Realize that if it doesn't work this time, you can always try again. That's the great thing about sex - you can do it as many times as you want!

Have you tried drinking beforehand? Sometimes, this can make guys lose their erections. But other times, it helps them get harder erections (though it may be more difficult to get off in the end). Drinking a bit might put your mind at ease.

You should be able to easily get two fingers into her all the way. Practice this until you can do it. Use lube if needed. Eventually you won't need the lube. Once you reach that stage, you should be able to have sex. If you can't reach that stage, then keep practicing.

1) As soon as I put a condom on I lose my errection

Just a random idea, but maybe you could practice putting condoms on as quickly as possible. The faster and more smoothly you can do it, the more erection will be left over for a few seconds afterwards.

I assume you have the condom already unwrapped and waiting for you when you're ready; you're not trying to first open the package.

Just a random idea, but maybe you could practice putting condoms on as quickly as possible. The faster and more smoothly you can do it, the more erection will be left over for a few seconds afterwards.

It's a good idea. There are at least two approaches that might work here:

- Put it on really quickly (practice on your own).

- Or the complete opposite - get her to put it on you and make the putting-on part of the foreplay - she can stimulate you while she is putting it on.

In either case, especially the second one, maybe you could agree to try putting on a condom a few times without any expectation of intercourse. She could even give you a hand-job or something while you have it on. This might make you more comfortable with putting it on and having it on, as you stop associating it with pressure to perform.

If both of you are virgin, I don’t see the need to use a condom. You may try first to penetrate her without a comdom. This is the goal, is not it?

It is already difficult enough to add even more difficult with it, don’t you think?

Try it at the mornings if it’s available. At the morning we men usually are rock hard.

This might sound obvious but have you tried the following?: have her hold her labia apart while you guide your penis in, holding the end of your penis in a kind of trigger grip so your index finger makes the first contact in as a guide. As in, you'll have your finger next to the tip of your penis whereby you remove your finger then let your penis go the rest of the way in. Do it very slowly, with the lights on so you can see what you are doing.

I never bothered with condoms.

Always lost my erection.

I've always used the withdrawal method.

It can be risky if you lack self control so consider an alternate source of birth control.

we've disscussed Pills but never got around to actually getting them. We tried a few different angles but it never seems to go in. She says that on one ocasdion it went half way in, but I didn't feel this at all so I dont think it did.

Have you tried spermicide? Some

Types are more effective then others, you can buy it over the counter just like condoms at many drug stores and even Walmart. I recommend avoiding the film as it takes a lot of time and wetness to dissolve. The ones in to-go packs are the most effective and easiest to use.

we've disscussed Pills but never got around to actually getting them. We tried a few different angles but it never seems to go in. She says that on one ocasdion it went half way in, but I didn't feel this at all so I dont think it did.

If both of you are virgin, I don’t see the need to use a condom. You may try first to penetrate her without a comdom. This is the goal, is not it?

It is already difficult enough to add even more difficult with it, don’t you think?

Try it at the mornings if it’s available. At the morning we men usually are rock hard.

I do believe the issue is not getting her pregnant