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Thread: Men, how do you feel when women are unjustly frightened/scared of you?

  1. #41
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    Originally Posted by lady00
    I also avoid people on the street who appear mentally disabled or disturbed not sure what the right word is, that are yelling or displaying other behaior that i find frightening. Recently a woman who was mumbling to herself pushed a man onto a subway track. Not the first time. No idea if she was mentally disabled but I would not stand between someone who is talking to himself or herself and he subway tracks. Is that wrong?
    Well, technically speaking it is "wrong" to treat ANY personal differently because of any real or perceived or assumed difference. Whether it's due to race, sex, creed, ethnicity, mental capability, sexual orientation, physical ability, hair color, eye color, L/R handedness, height, weight...

    That is not to say that you're wrong to not get into an elevator alone with a man if you don't feel comfortable. There is no victim.

  2. #42
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    There's a difference between sexist thinking and sexist treatment. This sort of thing isn't treating someone in a sexist way, it's thinking of them in a sexist way. But I don't blame women for it at all. If I were in their shoes, I'd do the exact same thing.

  3. #43

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    People are free within limits to do what they want. But to pretend this isn't sexist is not really believable. The chance of being sexually assaulted in an elevator is minuscule just as being accused of sexually assaulting someone in an elevator is minuscule. A fear based on such a slight occurrence is not based on reason but on a sexist view of men/women in general. If it were based on reason, no one would ever ride in a car for the chances of being involved in an accident are far higher.

    It's this sort of prejudice and discrimination that led to this: link removed

  4. #44
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    Here is an example that recently happened to me. I saw a tall man standing on the sidewalk. Broad daylight, just standing there. I thought that highly suspicious. There was no apparent reason for where he was standing. I instantly felt nervous. Then as a I approached, he started speaking to me saying nonsensical things. I felt harassed and hurried along. It appeared he was just loitering and speaking to women who passed by. He didn't appear to be begging, which is fairly common in my city and i would not find suspicious. If I had gone with my initial instinct, I would have crossed the street before I got to him. Next time, I am going with my gut. The next guy could be dangerous. Call it sexist, I call it being a smart woman who has her wits about her and is safety conscious. I think some men are complacent about safety. I know one guy who walked by a group of men in a park in the middle of the night. They robbed him. I would find a group of men in a park at night suspicious and would not pass by there. Yes, they could be completely harmless but to me that sets off alarm bells. I would think the same of a group of young women.

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  6. #45
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    Originally Posted by Victoria66
    Exactly. I do not get in an elevator almost never. It is not because a man is in it. It is the same if a woman is in it. I don't care. I despise elevators.
    Then this is irrelevant to the topic at hand.

    Anyway, as far as the topic goes, I'd think the elevator would be safer than the stairwell.

  7. #46
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    Originally Posted by pointless
    But the original point on the thread is about the mere presence of a man.
    The thing is though, 95% of women are smaller than men and almost 100% are not as strong as a man. Hm. Not being aware that you could face harm at some point in your life would just be stupid. Over 50% of women at some point in their life are attacked in some way or another. True, most of the attackers are known to the victim, but some are not. Having PTSD I am always going to look about and see if there is potential to be harmed. If people are insulted by that I am not going to worry about it. I think though people who are insulted by it have not been vulnerable or talked to their female family members about what has happened to them. EVERYONE at some point should know that most likely some female members of their family HAVE been assaulted even if they have no knowledge of it.

  8. #47

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    Over 50% of women at some point in their life are attacked in some way or another.
    So are men, in fact the incidence for men is even higher.

  9. #48
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    Originally Posted by OptomisticGirl
    I asked my husband this and he said he wouldn't feel bad if a woman did this - Shes protecting herself. And he always makes it a point not to follow too closely behind a woman who may be walking alone.
    This is exactly my point. I has become social acceptable to discriminate towards men believing them to be dangerous to the point that men act accordingly. Instead of fighting the stereotype we just accept it. There is an stereotype about black people, men and woman, being more violent that the other races counterpart. Will it be acceptable to expect black men and women to don't walk closely from anybody else? I'm not against protecting yourself from dangers, what I'm against is about assuming that men are a danger just because they are men.

  10. #49
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    A pocket knife or a concealed gun can easily close that gap. You can't assume anything just based in gender. And like DN said, so are men.

  11. #50
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    Originally Posted by lady00
    Here is an example that recently happened to me. I saw a tall man standing on the sidewalk. Broad daylight, just standing there. I thought that highly suspicious. There was no apparent reason for where he was standing. I instantly felt nervous. Then as a I approached, he started speaking to me saying nonsensical things. I felt harassed and hurried along.
    I'm not suggesting you're wrong here. If you don't feel safe, you don't feel safe. But you felt harassed by nonsensical things? Seems a little uptight doesn't it? My boss is constantly comeing to me with nonsensical things AND he's a visible minority. Imagine!!

    I wouldn't walk through a park late at night with people hanging around either.

    In my city there has been a rash of swarmings/muggings in recent years.

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