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Thread: Do You Require Daily Communication in Relationships?

  1. #1
    drmcsugar
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    Lightbulb Do You Require Daily Communication in Relationships?

    I was talking to a friend of mine who decided to stop seeing a guy because he didn't find a way to communicate with her enough daily. One day, they would call, text, or gchat. Then, on the next day, he just didn't say anything or even try to communicate with her. Since the relationship was fairly young, she didn't feel like flipping about about something like that, but it was apparently important to her that she must speak to her boyfriend at least once a day if they don't see each other. He made no attempt to do so, hence, she thought he was never really into her and decided to cut her losses.

    Now, when she told me this story, I thought that it was a bit extreme to expect your significant other to keep in touch with you daily, but then, I remember when I was dating my ex-boyfriend of 2 years, not hearing anything from him a day would make me anxious and worried or maybe even upset. I don't think it's "right" to expect a call or text from your partner, because if they're really fond of you, they'll find a way to keep in touch with you regardless. So if it were me in her shoes, I think I would have done the same thing by ending the relationship. But I'm wondering, am I the only one who feels daily communication is certainly needed in relationships, even if it's just a text or a call?

  2. #2
    iamkaylee
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    I think it's nice to touch base and say HI every day but it's not a requirement for me or something I expect.

  3. #3
    LikeWater
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    I'd prefer to talk to the girl I'm seeing daily, but it's certainly not a requirement and not a dealbreaker if she doesn't feel quite the same way. It's just a preference.

    Basically, and this especially rings true when the relationship is young, but I know if I'm really into a girl I want to talk to her as much as possible. I do understand what you're saying though, because if they can go days without talking to me no problem it does tend to make me feel as if she's not as into me as I am her.

    Some people are just busier or they have more people in their lives to tend to, so I don't think I would altogether stop seeing someone just because they don't talk to me quite as much as I'd like.

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    chickydoodle
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    I personally think its important - even a couple of x's just to let them know they mean something and are being thought of.
    To not do so would imply the SO is either self absorbed or placing other things higher on their priority list than the r'ship....
    esp if it is important for the other person to have some gesture of Love, and esp if the ''omitter'' is aware of this. It is not very time consuming to send a couple of x's......

  5. #5
    allcity
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    Every day?! Just because?! Man, if I was dating women that expected that level of attention, I'd be getting dumped all the time.

    That level of neediness would drive me crazy TBH. Constant contact is cool if it's natural, but not just because your GF will flip out if you don't get in touch every day.

    I think she wouldn't even need to dump me for that, as I'd have run for the hills way before that ever happened. Even the thought of someone catching feelings because I didn't check in every 24 hours makes me shudder.

    I love the feeling of wanting to keep in touch and missing each other, but when it becomes mandatory it starts to feel less like romance and more like checking in with a parole officer

  6. #6
    Deciduous
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    Hi drmcsugar,

    I agree with you and your girlfriend. I've usually kept in touch with boyfriends once a day. This is a natural occurrence, not a demand.

    Usually when I'm with some-one, we text a few times a day. Little comments, bits of conversation, etc, etc. Obviously there are days when life gets busy and we don't stay in touch.

    I don't demand it. It happens naturally when the relationship is working well. My take is if I can't think of anything to say to them on a daily basis, then I'm probably with the wrong person.

    Allcity - when and if you get married, are you saying you'd find your wife needy and clingy if she asked you to get in touch once a day when you were out of town. (Just curious. It's a serious question, as I realise that different couples require different levels of conversational intimacy in relationships.)

    Deci

  7. #7
    Butterfly~Wrists
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    all of my relationships have had daily communication... however when I am in a LDR I do require daily communication as far as possible, close distances not so much..

  8. #8
    Doc Blaze
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    its nice but its no a requirement....we communicate when we can..she is back in college again taking a full load and ive been working crazy shifts...but we manage to communicate daily.

  9. #9
    allcity
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deciduous [Register to see the link]
    When and if you get married, are you saying you'd find your wife needy and clingy if she asked you to get in touch once a day when you were out of town?
    If she specifically asked me to get in touch at least once a day, every day (assuming she generally wasn't needy and clingy in other areas) then it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, but I would find it a bit OTT though.

    When anyone expects clockwork contact from me, it always rubs me up the wrong way, makes me feel a bit suffocated and makes me wonder whether they're checking up on me. I admit that's likely just my issue, though.

    I've been in relationships where contact a few times a week was normal and ones where I'd get torn a new one if I didn't get in touch every day, and I can say for sure that the former were the women I found most attractive.

    If I'm expected to clock in every day, it's always a turn off for me. Note the word 'expected', though. There's a difference between her saying she'd really like me to get in touch every day vs. her snapping at me if I don't.

    I prefer relationships that are about two people happily living individual lives alongside each other, rather than as one entity. I think healthy relationships flourish with a decent amount of space and die without it.

    Everyone's different and some people prefer their relationships to be all-consuming. I find those people to be quite needy, though, and they are often the same people that are totally defined by their relationships.

    When they're 'in love' and with a partner, they feel complete. And when the relationship ends they are unable to function, as they defined their whole life and feelings of self-worth on this other person that 'completed' them.

    Besides, don't forget the old clichťs that say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and 'familiarity breeds contempt' Corny old sayings like that have a lot of truth to them.

  10. #10
    EssexMan
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    Quote Originally Posted by drmcsugar [Register to see the link]
    am I the only one who feels daily communication is certainly needed in relationships, even if it's just a text or a call?
    Nope. Like you, I'd be really worried if 24 hours went by with no communication at all (the only exception being if one of us was travelling internationally).

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