Ungrateful Family Members...

I love to Christmas shop... and it's a little ironic in a way because I technically don't even celebrate Christmas. I'm not a Christian. I celebrate the Winter Solstice. But anyway (and just in case anyone was wondering, no this isn't a religious debate, please don't make it one.)

Anyway... the whole time I was with my ex husband, I was deprived this privilege. Instead of putting thought into the gifts I got for people and wrapping them up all pretty, I always just had to run out at the last minute and buy a bunch of gift cards. My ex controlled our money, and as asinine as it sounds, I was never "allowed" to put a lot of time and effort into shopping for the holidays.

This was my first Christmas since we split up. So this year I decided to do it up really well. I started shopping in November. I got my brother a bottle of Caduceus Wine. Caduceus is the wine made by Maynard James Keenan from the band Tool. My brother is a huge fan of them and he has wanted some of that wine for years. I went online and looked up all the places that sell it. There were none in my state. The closest was 6 hours away fro here. So I had it shipped all the way from the vineyard in AZ where it's made.

My sister is really hard to shop for. She loves anything having to do with Bob Marley. I went on Etsy trying to find something unique for her. I ended up getting her a silver bracelet with a line from her favorite Bob Marley song engraved on it.

My other brother got Tools (which he wanted) and my Mom and sister in-law got clothes.

I was excited about all this stuff.

On Christmas day after everything was opened, I heard my Mom and my sister talking in the living room. They were talking crap about me... My sister said the bracelet I got her looked "cheap and chinsy" and my Mo said it was ugly and that I only got it for her because it looked like something I would wear. Well... it wasn't cheap and it's not something I would wear.

But then they started talking about the wine I got for my brother... they were saying I only got it for him so I could drink it with him. That's NOT true! Honestly, I don't think he will even open it. I got it for him because I knew how bad he wanted it and he won't spend that kind of money on himself.

I don't understand why they have to attach bad motives to things I do. My mom has been doing this since I was a kid. For some reason (in her eyes) everything I do is for some selfish/malicious motive.

Hearing them talk about me kind of ruined the holiday mood for me. I just kept trying to focus on the fact that my brother loved the wine, my other brother loved his tools. My sister in-law loved the blouse I got her. My Mom even liked what I got her even though she talked crap about things I got other people. And my boyfriend was absolutely ecstatic about what I gave him.

Idk... I know I am only venting here but any thoughts are still appreciated.

What your mom and sister deserve are no gifts. Buy them for those who appreciate you.

People are who they are... if they are ungrateful and selfish, they will continue to be that way... I'm sure nothing would have been good enough.

Next time just don't throw your pearls before swine. If they are going to act this way, then don't waste any time or money on them.

Next year I'd give them a few lumps of coal and be done with it.

I'd just be blunt, say that I heard them talking, and no, the bracelet wasn't cheap and you thought it was something she would like, not you - you put in a lot of thought. But if they can't appreciate the effort and get into the Christmas spirit, ten there's no need for any more presents next Christmas and so forth. It's about giving, not receiving.

They'll bad mouth you either way. When you give them no more gifts or lesser gifts or if you get blunt and tell them the truth. Id just rather have them to know. But that's just me. Still, no need to give more effort for them.

That sucks. I think your gifts were very thoughtful.

Glad you got to go all out on Christmas tho! Yay for that! And now you know who isn't worth all the effort, and next year will be even more fun for you!

Get them coal next year!!! You are very sweet and I think those are all lovely gifts. I'm sorry that your family is so ungrateful.

I agree with everyone else. Have your mom and sis always been this way?

Next year, give them $5 gift cards from McDonalds.

I was going to say this in my post by forgot... When my brother opened the bottle of wine my mom and my sister both wanted to know where I got it. When I told them I ordered directly from the vineyard they both told me that was dumb of me to do that because they sell it at a wine shop here in my town. Well, I was going by what I read on their website. The site listed all the places in the US that sell it, and they were all in major cities. I highly doubt some wine shop in some little podunk town in Ohio sells it. The closest places to me were in Chicago and Washington DC. I told them both that and of course, they both swear up and down that they've seen it there at the shop in my town, and why didn't I check there before shipping it, I would have saved so much in shipping, etc etc etc... Jesus, anything to make me look like an ass.

If anyone is wondering, my sister passed out Best Buy gift cards to everyone and my Mom gave me Tupperware. I really have no need or desire for Tupperware but I'm sure it will get used somehow.

I am conflicted a little with my Mom... since she liked what I gave her but had snotty comments to make about things I gave others. Idk...

No good deed goes unpunished. Some people will be cranky no matter what. Next year get them gag gifts. For instance you could bake some of this: link removed You could bring it in the new Tupperware.

I agree with everyone else. Have your mom and sis always been this way?

 

Next year, give them $5 gift cards from McDonalds.

Yea, they've always been this way. My Mo has never been able to see anything nice I do as just a nice gesture. She always thinks it's for some nasty reason. When I was a teenager I got in trouble all the time for the bad motives my Mom attached to the things I did. If I was the only one to get all my chores done, then my Mom accused me of only doing them to make the other kids look bad for not doing theirs. I did them because I didn't want to get in trouble, but I got in trouble anyway. That's just one example. Stuff like that happened all the time in my house. It wasn't just me though, my brother had to deal with the same thing all through his childhood.

I read a lot about psychology, and from my understanding this is a form of gaslighting.

Tupperware is good for food but also storing things. I store a lot of odds and ends in Tupperware.

I was going to suggest fruitcake in the Tupperware!

I wouldn't even buy them McDonalds cards.

Being nothing for them next year. When they ask why, tell them you felt sad that they didn't like their gifts last year, there you're not going to try and give gifts again because everyone doesn't like them.

Ungrateful idiots.

I am sorry to hear that your mom and sister can not appreciate what you gave them for the holidays.

From what I was tough it is not the price of the gift it is the though that when into the gift.

If it were me I would look in your town for a family that has been having a hard time do to the economy that fave children that will get very few gifts.

And give the children that would like but would have a chance of getting. You could find one of the imaginations that you can Get the name of one of our Service people over in the sand box.

And become a pen pal to one one them and at the holidays you could make up a gift package things that are hard to come by over there.

There are plenty people that would be happy and would really appreciate your kindness.

And if you are like me I would at the next holiday then the family gathers.

I would get a Nice gift to the members in your family who appreciate your gift.

The gift that you know the that would really appreciate your gift .

And the others I would give a card to let them know that I gave the gift that you would have gotten to that someone would appreciate the gift.

Darned if you do, darned if you don't - it's an awkward place to be in!

Knowing what you know about your sister and mother means you'll have to lower your expectations of them, which is a sad thing to do, but necessary for your own peace of mind.

I'm glad that the rest of your family enjoyed the things that you chose for them!

I think your presents were lovely. Just keep telling yourself the people that matter the most to you appreciated your thoughtfulness

An ex's family was like this. Also, they'd talk **** about whoever wasn't around at any given family gathering.

Some people are just like this!

Next year buy them gift cards to Walmart, but since your brothers and sister in law appreciated there gifts, go all out on them. If they are going act like that there is no reason for you to spend time and money trying to make them happy.

It's the thought that counts... if your mom and sister can't see that, whatever. At least you know who gets the gift cards again for next year.

That's really rude - I hate when people complain about the gifts that they get from others. One year I was really stressed about exams while I was in uni and I didn't have time to get anybody anything besides gift cards, which I really couldn't afford anyway, and people complained.. I was really mad.

Next year I'd give them a few lumps of coal and be done with it.

^^^^ this. Have they always been so classless with you?

^^^^ this. Have they always been so classless with you?