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Thread: Ungrateful Family Members...

  1. #1
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    Ungrateful Family Members...

    I love to Christmas shop... and it's a little ironic in a way because I technically don't even celebrate Christmas. I'm not a Christian. I celebrate the Winter Solstice. But anyway (and just in case anyone was wondering, no this isn't a religious debate, please don't make it one.)

    Anyway... the whole time I was with my ex husband, I was deprived this privilege. Instead of putting thought into the gifts I got for people and wrapping them up all pretty, I always just had to run out at the last minute and buy a bunch of gift cards. My ex controlled our money, and as asinine as it sounds, I was never "allowed" to put a lot of time and effort into shopping for the holidays.

    This was my first Christmas since we split up. So this year I decided to do it up really well. I started shopping in November. I got my brother a bottle of Caduceus Wine. Caduceus is the wine made by Maynard James Keenan from the band Tool. My brother is a huge fan of them and he has wanted some of that wine for years. I went online and looked up all the places that sell it. There were none in my state. The closest was 6 hours away fro here. So I had it shipped all the way from the vineyard in AZ where it's made.

    My sister is really hard to shop for. She loves anything having to do with Bob Marley. I went on Etsy trying to find something unique for her. I ended up getting her a silver bracelet with a line from her favorite Bob Marley song engraved on it.

    My other brother got Tools (which he wanted) and my Mom and sister in-law got clothes.

    I was excited about all this stuff.

    On Christmas day after everything was opened, I heard my Mom and my sister talking in the living room. They were talking crap about me... My sister said the bracelet I got her looked "cheap and chinsy" and my Mo said it was ugly and that I only got it for her because it looked like something I would wear. Well... it wasn't cheap and it's not something I would wear.

    But then they started talking about the wine I got for my brother... they were saying I only got it for him so I could drink it with him. That's NOT true! Honestly, I don't think he will even open it. I got it for him because I knew how bad he wanted it and he won't spend that kind of money on himself.

    I don't understand why they have to attach bad motives to things I do. My mom has been doing this since I was a kid. For some reason (in her eyes) everything I do is for some selfish/malicious motive.

    Hearing them talk about me kind of ruined the holiday mood for me. I just kept trying to focus on the fact that my brother loved the wine, my other brother loved his tools. My sister in-law loved the blouse I got her. My Mom even liked what I got her even though she talked crap about things I got other people. And my boyfriend was absolutely ecstatic about what I gave him.

    Idk... I know I am only venting here but any thoughts are still appreciated.

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    What your mom and sister deserve are no gifts. Buy them for those who appreciate you.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member lavenderdove's Avatar
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    People are who they are... if they are ungrateful and selfish, they will continue to be that way... I'm sure nothing would have been good enough.

    Next time just don't throw your pearls before swine. If they are going to act this way, then don't waste any time or money on them.

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    Platinum Member iamkaylee's Avatar
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    Next year I'd give them a few lumps of coal and be done with it.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member poetryandlyrics's Avatar
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    I'd just be blunt, say that I heard them talking, and no, the bracelet wasn't cheap and you thought it was something she would like, not you - you put in a lot of thought. But if they can't appreciate the effort and get into the Christmas spirit, ten there's no need for any more presents next Christmas and so forth. It's about giving, not receiving.

    They'll bad mouth you either way. When you give them no more gifts or lesser gifts or if you get blunt and tell them the truth. Id just rather have them to know. But that's just me. Still, no need to give more effort for them.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    That sucks. I think your gifts were very thoughtful.

    Glad you got to go all out on Christmas tho! Yay for that! And now you know who isn't worth all the effort, and next year will be even more fun for you!

  8. #7
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    Get them coal next year!!! You are very sweet and I think those are all lovely gifts. I'm sorry that your family is so ungrateful.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member becomingkate's Avatar
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    I agree with everyone else. Have your mom and sis always been this way?

    Next year, give them $5 gift cards from McDonalds.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Cynder's Avatar
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    I was going to say this in my post by forgot... When my brother opened the bottle of wine my mom and my sister both wanted to know where I got it. When I told them I ordered directly from the vineyard they both told me that was dumb of me to do that because they sell it at a wine shop here in my town. Well, I was going by what I read on their website. The site listed all the places in the US that sell it, and they were all in major cities. I highly doubt some wine shop in some little podunk town in Ohio sells it. The closest places to me were in Chicago and Washington DC. I told them both that and of course, they both swear up and down that they've seen it there at the shop in my town, and why didn't I check there before shipping it, I would have saved so much in shipping, etc etc etc... Jesus, anything to make me look like an ass.

    If anyone is wondering, my sister passed out Best Buy gift cards to everyone and my Mom gave me Tupperware. I really have no need or desire for Tupperware but I'm sure it will get used somehow.

    I am conflicted a little with my Mom... since she liked what I gave her but had snotty comments to make about things I gave others. Idk...

  11. #10
    Platinum Member BellaDonna's Avatar
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    No good deed goes unpunished. Some people will be cranky no matter what. Next year get them gag gifts. For instance you could bake some of this: link removed You could bring it in the new Tupperware.

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