Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: I don't fancy my husband - Worst wife ever...

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    4
    Gender
    Female

    I don't fancy my husband - Worst wife ever...

    Hi Guys,

    This is my first post here although I have been a lurker for a while, so I hope I am doing it right/ putting it in the right place.

    I have not come here to ask for sympathy, more for advice if anyone has maybe gone through the same thing. Sorry if it's a long read.

    I am 29 and have been with my husband for 7 years married for 4.5 of those, we don't have childeren. He is a good, kind, trustworthy, fun,funny, good looking guy. He works really hard and has a good career. I love him very much. No woman could ask for a better man.
    The problem is for the last at least 12 months, I no longer fancy him and to be honest it is more than that. The idea of having sex with him repulses me I have no idea why at all. We are still having sex maybe once a month, but I do not enjoy it and I think he has realised that. It's not that he is bad in bed either. It's just this repulsion, when he touches me sexually. Hugging and holding hands is fine, but when he tries to take it further, my brain goes all weird.
    I am still very interested in sex, just not when it comes to my husband ( i don't mean an affair i would never do that) I just mean the idea of sex is fine and i stll masterbate.

    I just don't know what to do anymore i feel like the worst wife in the world. He has done nothing wrong and I really want to fix it but I have no idea how. I have never had any bad experiences sexually so its nothing like that.

    Can anyone help because i'm affraid he will eventually leave me if I keep on this way.

    Thanks xxxx

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    3,653
    Gender
    Male
    You said, "( i don't mean an affair i would never do that) I just mean the idea of sex is fine and i stll masterbate."

    Hi Em,
    Gold-digger’s/psycho’s aside; Most of us marry with dreams of a long happy union… then something happens. In the blink of an eye they are looking at each other in a court room.

    Your statement above describes that “something” for millions.

    My take:
    Stop placing value on the superficial and cut off all supporting media that espouses superficial values.
    If this doesn't help, tell your husband and separate asap.

    This will allow give you time to see your husband vs. you're fantasy men, (masturbate), in there true light.

  3. #3
    Gold Member april15's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    St. Louis, MO
    Posts
    862
    Gender
    Male
    Is there a big difference in your sex drives? What would each of your perfect amounts of sex per week be?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member becomingkate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    54
    Posts
    2,512
    Gender
    Female
    I think that you'll need to talk to a doc about the issue. Not sure where you are in the UK, but I found the following page, called "who to contact for sex therapy."


    Family planning clinics

    Traditionally, NHS family planning (FP) clinics used to be the main providers of psychosexual advice in the UK, particularly for women. This was so until about the end of the 20th century.

    However, the current situation is that the clinics are mostly working under great pressure, so they tend to have to concentrate on their main job, which is providing contraception.

    But some of the nurses and doctors do still have an interest in sexual problems and will try to help you if time permits.

    They’re particularly good with the following difficulties:

    vaginismus
    low libido in women
    poor technique
    difficulty reaching female orgasm
    not being able to conceive.

    Most doctors in family planning units don’t have training in dealing with male sex problems. So there's not a lot of point in going along if you're a guy who has erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation.

    However, they are good at lending a sympathetic ear!

    FP clinics do not charge for giving help.

    NHS hospitals

    In a few areas of the country, there are well-known psychosexual units at large hospitals – London’s St Mary’s, Guy’s and the Maudsley are examples. And in the provinces, Sheffield’s Porterbrook Clinic has a world-wide reputation.

    In the rest of Britain, psychosexual clinics often lead a somewhat precarious existence. A clinic might well close down if funding is withdrawn or if somebody retires!

    But in 2011, our research indicated that there was some sort of NHS psychosexual service in at least 40 towns. (Your general practice should be able to find out the address and phone number of your nearest clinic.)


    link removed

  5.  

  6. #5

    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    4
    Gender
    Female
    Lester- Thank you for your response and your opinion. I certainly don't want to separate from my husband if there is anyway around it. I love him dearly and in every other aspect of life we are really really happy. Also I'm not really sure about what you mean when you say "Fantasy men" it is not that I fancy people more than my husband or that I think he has unattractive attributes. It's just like my brain seems to scream NO! for no reason I can fathom.

    April15- I don't think there has previously been a big difference in oour sex drives, mine if anything would have been the higher one until I felt like this, we were both happy with 2-3 times a week.

  7. #6

    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    4
    Gender
    Female
    BecomingKate- thank you for that information, I had considered seeing a doctor as the next step x

  8. #7
    Gold Member april15's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    St. Louis, MO
    Posts
    862
    Gender
    Male
    Hmmm... Sorry Em that kinda spoils my resentment for having sex when you didn't want to idea. I can see the getting old or not fun any more but to get to the level of repulsion makes me think there has to be something deeper here. Could it be men in general or just your man that repulses you? When you are taking care of yourself, what are you thinking about?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    3,653
    Gender
    Male
    You said,
    “I have no idea why at all.”
    - That’s why we are here. Pick and choose the advice that works for you.

    You also said,
    “He is a good, kind, trustworthy, fun,funny, good looking guy. He works really hard and has a good career. I love him very much. No woman could ask for a better man.
    The problem is for the last at least 12 months, I no longer fancy him and to be honest it is more than that. The idea of having sex with him repulses me I have no idea why at all. We are still having sex maybe once a month, but I do not enjoy it”

    EM, I did make assumptions about your paradoxical statements; and I don’t like what I’m hearing.
    Odd exceptions aside; all wives want to be faithful, yet countless numbers aren’t each year. Unless theres action/change, I have been around long enough to know what’s coming next: “The understanding man.”

    I pray not for you... for it sounds like you have a lot to lose.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •