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Thread: Relationship help - not ready for a relationship?

  1. #1
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    Join Date
    Nov 2012
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    Relationship help - not ready for a relationship?

    Hey everybody,

    About 6 months ago I got into a relationship with a 19 year old girl. Initially, when I first told her I had feelings for her, she said she wasn't interested in a relationship right now and wasn't sure whether she had feelings for me, but after a week or so of thinking it over she said she was willing to date me. About a month to two in, we talked about our relationship and she said she had changed her mind and really liked me. We have never really had any fights, although we have had a couple of serious, emotional talks about our relationship over the 6 months which involved both of us crying, but making up pretty much immediately. Recently, whilst I thought everything was going well, she sprung it up on me that yet again, she was not ready for a relationship and that she didn't feel as strongly for me as she did before, but when I asked whether she had any feelings to me at all, she hesitated and said that she did at times but definitely not as strongly as before. I explained to her that I think this is a normal feeling as the relationship progresses because everything is not new and exciting anymore (which I think is true but could somebody confirm please?). She said that she still considered me her best friend and wanted everything to remain the same minus the physical intimacy pretty much. She said that because I was her first boyfriend, she was still quite uncomfortable with that, and being in a relationship makes her feel like she's settling down and she doesn't want that just yet. However, she still wants to see me as much as she did before (which was pretty much every day), and still call me and text me and whatever. For example, we have an exam coming up so we organized a study date for tomorrow. She also said that nothing is off the table and she would possibly like that later on we could possibly get together again when she's ready. I am really confused with this situation and it seems like she is too. Could somebody please help analyze what she is thinking? Is she actually not ready for a relationship or has she simply just lost feelings for me? What should I do? Should I just act normal or try and avoid her or what?

    Thanks for your time everybody
    Last edited by Hermy; 11-12-2012 at 02:05 PM.

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