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I fell in love with a married man. He has left his wife and now me too...


Bella Donna

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Hi Everyone,

 

This is my first time posting here although I have read many posts over the past few months. I would like to tell my story and ask your thoughts but as you will see in a moment I am fully aware that I may get shot down in flames. If you feel that you can't be supportive, that is fine, but please don't post anything nasty because right now I am really looking for some non-judgemental guidance, thanks.

 

And apologies for the length in advance.

 

Two years ago I met and fell in love with a married man. He had been married for 23 years and is 14 years older than me. Despite previously seeing situations like this is very black and white terms, we nevertheless started a relationship. He planned to leave his wife almost immediately but initially I was unsure ( I felt like I didn't want the responsibility of destroying his marriage if things between us didn't work out). But we fell deeper in love and eventually we agreed he would leave as soon as two of his children had completed important exams.

 

He left in June 2011 and we spent the summer together but that Autumn I started university as a mature student in a different town. We saw each other most weekends and he talked about marriage, children and life together.

 

My parents were very disapproving of the situation - him being not only married with several children, but also older. That Christmas they were very unwelcoming when he visited and coupled with the worries of his divorce and the children, he broke up with me. I spent a miserable Christmas before he eventually rang and we got back together.

 

When we met I was in one career and going back to university proved much more challenging than I had anticipated - i am doing an incredibly academic degree and have constant huge amounts of work to do. Because I was so upset over Christmas I didn't do the revision I should have done during that time and failed some mid-term exams.

We picked ourselves up but he seemed to cycle through periods of extreme closeness and then pulling away. These seemed to coincide with when I needed his support most, during exams. He had exams of his own and also pulled away during that period, but each time came back once his immediate stresses were dealt with.

 

All this time the divorce is ongoing and to her enormous credit his wife has been nothing but dignified, respectful and getting on with things. Another factor is that they were a very Christian family, and in choosing to leave her for me, he also had to give up the Church, all of his friends and his good-standing in that community. I didn't really think this bothered him at the time because he said he had outgrown his earlier beliefs and that was one of the reasons him and his wife had grown apart.

 

We went through up and down periods that year until my exams in May when I was incredibly stressed and not coping very well. He basically broke up with me a week before my finals (although afterwards he denied this was the case) and again, the day I finished, after 3 weeks of silence, he texted me and we met up for the Jubilee weekend. Things seemed back to normal, he said he thought he was doing the best thing leaving me alone to study and seemed to have no understanding that I wanted him around. (He had been supposed to be staying at my house during my revision time, instead he just dropped me off and didn't even stay that night!)

 

After the Jubilee, he really made an effort and things were ok until we went to a party and there was a woman there who I just got 'bad vibes' off. As the evening went on, I watched her get very quickly drunk and noticed that he had introduced me to everyone else in the room but her. At one point I saw her swaying on her high heels and give a funny shake of her head and curl of her lip in his direction. He was talked to a friend and didn't notice but massive alarm bells started ringing.

 

A few minutes later he wanted to leave and was oblivious that anything had happened. As soon as we got outside I went crazy. In the car home I cried and said I knew what I had seen. He denied everything, said she was a crazy alcoholic and it was nothing. The fight carried on inside and and he got angry at me saying that if I was going to react like this then there was no point. By which stage I had a panic attack and threw up in the bathroom. He helped me to bed and stayed the night.

 

The next morning we talked and seemed to sort things out. He said that while we were 'on a break' (the exact thing he'd denied earlier) he may have led her on and that he hadn't told her i would be there that night, although nothing had happened between them apart from a drink in a pub with a larger group of friends until they were the last two left.

 

I was so happy when we had arrived at that party that we were back together and socialising and then my world had come crashing down.

 

That morning was Father's Day and he had arranged to spend it with his children (which I was always completely supportive of and in fact encouraged him to stay in touch and see them as much as possible). He said he would be back later that evening and bring some clothes to stay that week. I stayed in bed that morning, feeling rough after the night before. He came back earlier than expected - I was delighted. Then he sat on the bed and told me that perhaps he hadn't been entirely honest. I was expecting him to say he had slept with this woman or at least kissed her. But essentially his story didn't really change - just that he had maybe led her on, had told her that we had broken up and that he had some thinking to do and wanted space.

 

He hadn't brought any belongings and left again. I lost it and texted him an hysterical long text staying that he either turn the car round now and come back and discuss things like adults or it was over. Obviously he didn't return. He next day I apologised for the ultimatum but tried to explain the reason why I was so upset was that he always shut me down or ran away from problems instead of talking them through with me. He answered that because he hadn't come back it was over.

 

Two days later he came to pick up any residual things from my house and left.

 

I went to stay with my parents and sent him a few photos and emails and told him how sorry I was it had come to this.

 

We texted sporadically for about a fortnight and were due to go to a ball together. I hadn't mentioned it but he sent me a text saying if we do sort this out you are still more than welcome to come to the ball, which I took as a really positive sign. We didn't speak for a few more days and when I asked him about it as I needed to book tickets, he said he wasn't going and basically it was over.

 

For some reason we ended up speaking a few days after the ball night and guess what he had gone, because of a sudden late change in plans.

 

We were due to go on holiday together and asked several times if we could still go and try to sort things out. He eventually said he was taking his children instead but had left me hanging on for an answer for a fortnight.

 

During this time I was due to go on a family holiday which I had initially declined because we were due to be away together at the same time. I told him I would go away with them instead and he told me not to book my ticket yet - I took that to mean give it a few more days, he wasn't sure.

 

By this stage flights had gone up £1000 and I ended up having to decide and book. He then said the only reason he had told me not to book was because he thought my parents were already out there and he didn't want me flying out there when I was upset.

 

I was away the whole summer and didn't contact him for 10 weeks - and neither did he contact me.

 

When I returned home, it was his birthday and I sent a letter and card. He replied that he didn't want to seem ungrateful but the pressures of the divorce, children, guilt, the church and a new boss had all got too much and although he was sure he would regret it, he was sticking by his decision.

 

Since June, he hasn't contacted me once first but up until this month he always replied or picked up the phone. But at the start of October I sent a message saying if he ever changed his mind, I wanted to talk and then a fortnight ago I did the unthinkable, yet inevitable - went out, got drunk and sent a 5 text long message telling him that everytime I contacted him, it just seemed to push us further apart so I was giving up. (It took me five texts to tell him this mind!) Needless to say, he didn't reply to either to either of these text message nightmares.

 

Which brings me to now. Day 13 NC (for the how manyth time?!) - Embarrassment was a brilliant deterrent after the last one!

 

But I have so many questions. He said we could meet up in October to talk, as he didn't want to discuss by text, I agreed and managed to leave it at that for a few weeks, until the text message blow up. Obviously October has now been and gone and the talk was never mentioned again - in fact, he hasn't contacted me at all.

 

So my questions and thoughts are these (And I do realise that this sounds like an unhealthy relationship, but of course there were numerous very happy times, holidays and memories in between times - and I'm only detailing the negatives for you here-)

 

1. After being so certain that our relationship was worth a shot to divorce his wife for me, why would he not make more of an effort to make us work?

2. I feel like I have become just one of many big issues in his life so he can't address the situation, whereas he is my world

3. Is there anything I can do to tread very gently with this man to get him to open up again or have I blown it by chasing him?

4. Am I just a 'parachute' out of his marriage as someone termed me?

5. Do you think once his divorce has calmed down he may view things more positively? I have been nothing but supportive of him, even after the split.

6. How do I approach this now? I feel like if I could just see him, things would improve but I feel that he is deliberately shutting me out because he knows that if he sees me he will still be attracted to me.

7. Has anyone else dated someone going through a divorce? I was so naive going into this - All I saw was our excitement at being together

8. Two other small points - He had had a vasectomy and I think he was worried in case a reversal didn't work and also he worried he wouldn't be able to support me financially as I am from a rich family. But my career will be high paid and I always knew his first commitments would be to his existing children and I was fine with that - although he was generous while we were together.

9. I would hate to think that all the heartache of the divorce has eventually not resulted in anything positive coming out of it but his guilt has affected everyone involved.

10. Everyone says no contact is the only way, but if he didn't contact me once in the 10 weeks I was away this summer, i can't see him doing it first now.

 

Please feel free to ask me any questions and I will try to be as honest as possible. i know it all sounds like a big mess, but I do love this man dearly and if there is any chance for us down the line i don't want to wreck things by doing the wrong thing now.

 

Thoughts please?

 

Bella Donna

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This is why affairs are life wreckers.

 

Leaving a spouse and a marriage for another person never works. You leave the marriage and divorce because the marriage is broken beyond repair. If you wouldn't walk away without an affair partner in the picture, walking away with the rose colored glass and brilliant green grass of an affair is stupid.

 

It's over with this man and you need to try and accept that and move on. Your relationship was built entirely on a fantasy you both created in your minds. It wasn't reality and once reality hit for him, no home, no family, no church, friends turning against him, etc, etc plus the normal stresses and strains of a "real" relationship and not the happy glow of an affair, it was too much and he's bailed.

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The strange thing is, if I read my post from a stranger I would probably post a similar reply. But when you are in a situation, you always feel like your circumstances are unique and the situation behind them individual.

 

What I find difficult to deal with is how easily he has managed to shut me out of his life, without so much as a single text message.

If I found out he had returned to his wife I think I would find that more understandable, because I know he felt awful about the children, but now it seems that so many lives have been affected and we are all single.

 

I have definitely learnt a valuable life lesson and weirdly married men keep approaching me (must be my age I guess) but as soon as I see a ring or ask outright, if there is any mention of any other woman at all, I am out of there in a shot.

 

I have been totally destroyed by this relationship, I suppose I just need to get rid of the residual feeling that one day he will get back in touch.

 

I know it sounds arrogant to say it - But all his friends thought he had a good thing with me.

 

But as you say, reality rarely lives up to the dreams we build in our minds.

 

Any thoughts on how I stay strong and don't call him in a moment of weakness? 4 months on I still think of him every hour of the day even though I have deleted all visible traces of him from my life.

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I dated a guy going through divorce. It was a similar situation (without any of the cheating or other people) - but a lot of the hot and cold/back and forth. It's enough to make you crazy, isn't it? He also basically walked away seemingly unfased, whereas I was (still kind of am) a wreck.

 

I guess I kind of think of it like this... while it was probably hard to walk away from you... it was probably a billion times harder for him to walk away from his wife. I mean... rightfully so, right? They were married a long time. The truth is, despite acting the part (he probably only knows how to act committed) and talking the part... he was never really "there". Not in his mind. He couldn't be. He's still getting over her. He's still going through the divorce.

 

I also had to learn the hard way that he was unavailable. Because it looks so real while you are in it! But... I think that's the thing. It's not real. It's a mirage.

 

Unfortunately, it's over. And - I don't know about you, but I won't be dating any more guys going through a divorce. It's a train smash. I think it's innocent enough on their parts... they genuinely like you... they genuinely want to be around... but they project too many "couple-y" and future-talk stuff (out of habit) that is out of line with what they are actually thinking and feeling. I think... they just don't know how to be single and project the right things. So then, you get all involved - actually to that level - and yoink!

 

The hard, hard truth is that you were more vested in the relationship than he was - than he was capable of being.

 

I think that's the horrible life lesson that both you and I had to learn. Ick.

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Red Dress,

 

Thanks you so so much for this post, you have summed it up. It's not that I think he is a bad person, but yes, his talk of marriage and babies and homes completely had me convinced he was committed and ready.

 

I will never date anyone going through or newly divorced ever again. I have never felt pain like it because I suppose we are grieving not just for the loss of them but for the loss of the future that had promised us also.

 

I really appreciate you writing because as much as I do need to hear what the other posters have written, it is comforting to know that I am not alone in this situation, and when they walk way it leaves you devastated.

 

I hope you are further on in your recovery. Ick indeed. X

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May I ask, what made you give this guy a shot at all to begin with? You say you weren't drawn to married men before. And this one was married. Significantly older than you. Already had his children, and there seems to be some express of interest in your post of starting a family and possibly children of your own. And he was confused about what he wanted - fits the whole description of the man stereotypically stuck in a mid life crisis. With a crisis of identity, beliefs, where he was going in his life.

 

With that all, what made you throw out everything you know you wanted for ....that?? Obviously I do not know the man, and he may have some very lovely qualities. But for a woman looking for a real partner, he is a dud as a potential!

 

I think it's important for you to answer this honestly. Not for anyone here but for yourself. Was it pure loneliness? Had it been a long time since a man had shown that level of intensity towards you? Were you bored? What was it, and is it, exactly? The more honestly you can answer, the better you can heal and move on.

 

I believe, as corny as it is, the truth does set a person free. When you are ready to face it, no matter how ugly, you can do something about it.

 

I read that whole post! It's pretty long. But it's also pretty interesting reading how the minds of different people work. Your reasoning seems to be self centered. This is an observation, not a judgement on whether or not you are a good person! Self centered in that you seem to think you somehow have any control at all over him or his choices. I think his choices all along are purely his - only ever can be. The same it is for any other adult with a functioning mind and no serious mental disorder or brain injury. He didn't leave his wife for you. He didn't leave his children and the church for you. He did those things because he wanted to. End of.

 

This way of reasoning also shows through in the way you pursue him even when he acts repeatedly cold and dismissive of you. You think you are somehow in some part responsible for his behavior - you aren't.

 

This can be seen as a sad thing, or an empowering one. To me, it's an empowering idea. That we all are ONLY in control of our own choices. You don't have to have guilt or fear about his. Just worry about your own. And in that light, what the heck have you been doing young lady??!! Treating yourself not very nice, indeed. Way less than any one deserves.

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Wow Itsallgrand,

 

You've given me a whole lot to think about and I'm not sure I have the answers right now, but I may post an update when i have thought about what you said some more.

 

I think I have only recently started to accept that I can't control the outcome of this break-up or control his emotions and actions. I clearly have some more work to do on that but I think your comments will help me to avoid contacting him again.

 

For so long I was so caught up in being convinced that this had to have a 'happy ending' to make it all worthwhile, that I've tried to push for that, whilst forgetting that it takes two people to be in a relationship.

 

You are absolutely right. He has been repeatedly cold and dismissive, but I kept brushing it under the carpet and coming back for more.

 

I have a lot to think about right now. Everyones responses have thrown up many probably more important questions than the ones I raised in my (admittedly) long post.

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You cannot build a solid house on shaky ground. And essentially, this man IS shaky ground because he is a liar and a cheat. That is who he is, and if he will lie to his wife and cheat on her, he will do the same to you (as you have already discovered).

 

You keep framing this as if the issue is the problems relating to a man who is divorcing, but the REAL issue is you were his mistress and he is a liar and a cheater. Doesn't matter what excuse he gave you, he was comfortable betraying his wife and running around behind her back, and may in fact enjoy the intrigue and having multiple women at once fussing over him.

 

You say he played the 'hot and cold' game with you, but he was also playing it with his wife. Men engage in affairs because it DOES give them distance, and he is most likely a man who has trouble with intimacy and whenever he gets too close, he feels smothered and either runs away as he did with you, or if married, creates the distance by taking mistresses. He is most comfortable in triangles rather than in a pair bonded relationship. He repeated that pattern with you by breaking up multiple times and running away when you needed him, and pursuing other women behind your back.

 

And don't believe that he 'only' talked to that other woman. I'm sure he lied to his wife for a long time about you, and probably lied to that other woman about you, and to you about her and the fact that he did sleep with her (and may still be doing it).

 

In fact, i think his rather long disappearances are most likely related to him seeing other women. Remember, he is a man who is willing and able to cheat and lie and have multiple women at once. So i suspect what has happened is that he has a new woman now which is why you aren't hearing from him. And he well could have had MANY affairs during his marriage and you'd never know it. Perhaps you were the last one before the divorce where his wife got fed up and agreed to the divorce because she was sick of the affairs. For all you know SHE booted him out rather than vice versa. Married men will usually promise they'll leave their wives, but only finally do it when she figures it out and boots him out. And if she doesn't do that, he doesn't leave.

 

So i think you have learned a hard lesson. He is not a man comfortable with intimacy and is a liar and a cheat. He's always been that, but you've made excuses for him because you hoped he'd be your Prince Charming. But Prince Charming doesn't two time Cinderella with other women! So he was a shaky foundation that you couldn't build a real life on, whether you knew that or not.

 

So never date an unavailable man who is committed to someone else via marriage or live in or just someone else's BF. By default that man is a liar and a cheat and doesn't respect his partners if he is willing to do that. You want a fairy tale ending with a man who is really a troll rather than a prince, and it just doesn't happen.

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I took time to read your thread sincerely. I don't judge you for taking him away from his wife (it was his decision too). However, I will try to analyze the situation and explain you some things. Sometimes people loose their heads and minds about others. Then they promise and do impossible things (like he left his wife and promised you to spend more time with you). However, when people get irritated and bored from the grey reality and monotony, then they just "forget" their promises and plans to keep their promises. So he left his wife because he was more happy with you at THAT exact time, but the time passed by and everything (arguments, bad moods, unsuccessful happenings in his life) were put to one huge pile. He couldn't hold more pressure coming from everywhere and decided to choose the easiest way - to leave everything and to get away alone. To take HIS time to heal after the divorce, to understand what he wants and so on. Yes, you are a little bit right, saying that you were one of his issues (not you, exactly, but misunderstandings, fights, arguments, ultimatums, etc). Yes, you said "Sorry" but what was said and done it was done and you can't take it back so easily. You showed your immaturity by sending him those ultimatums and long messages while being drunk. Men hate that. It showed that you are unstable and he wanted to feel that at least in one area of his life everything was alright. When he needed support, you were too clingy, too emotional and didn't understand him. Now what you can do is just to cut contact. You did all you could (for now, at least). The ball is in his court, so now you just need to keep no contact (NC) and wait till he contacts you himself. Of course not only wait, but do something about your studies, job, family, etc. Men like independent, women who respect themselves, who doesn't chase them, who can stand for themselves and who has other meaning of life than "man itself." So you'd better stand up earlier than later. He need mature woman who knows how to deal with life, not a cry baby (sorry), and not someone who is chasing him begging to return. Start behaving like an adult. Don't chase him. He will return when he wants (and only IF he wants). You can't push a person to love you and contact just out of the pity and guilt. If he doesn't contact you in 10 weeks, that means he doesn't see the point to do that. He doesn't want to do that at all. And if he will not contact you any longer, you can't do anything about it. Then it would mean you were just his rebound girl to escape form the unsuccessful wedding life and that's all. Nothing more. Don't expect from this man much and don't put so much effort on the person who doesn't do anything for you these days.

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Whether he was married almost seems irrelevant- the way you describe him it's as though he was your whole world. Any relationship, affair or not, needs to have an even playing field.

 

I was once in a relationship that made me so grateful, I would fall asleep every night thinking about how happy I was. What I didn't realize was how incredibly dysfunctional that was. It's nice to be thankful for people, but not to the point where I couldn't possibly conceive of a breakup. I knew I would have a meltdown if that happened, and sure enough, it did happen, and I did have a complete meltdown.

 

Going to therapy helped me, and I highly recommend it for you, too. At this point you want to ask yourself why you were okay with this substandard type of relationship. He broke up with you multiple times, treated you poorly, and did it all while cheating on someone else. A therapist can help you understand why you don't think you deserve better, and work on changing your thought process. He/she will also help the grieving process.

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Hi Pumpkinmoon,

 

He is 46 and I am 32 - I am slowly starting to see the reality of the situation, but it has taken this step away to realise just how badly he was treating me, and how much I gave him allowance for because he was under pressure. I guess if you really thought someone was special, you would do everything you could not to hurt them - Not let them down when the going gets tough

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Hi PrettyGood.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read everything I wrote and writing such a helpful answer. I have definitely realised my immaturity in handling this situation so far, I think I was so consumed by panic that instead of considering the situation coolly and asking whether I was happy with his treatment of me, that I clung on even tighter, which ultimately meant he broke all ties and stopped replying.

 

I won't be making any contact but whereas previously it was solely with the aim of hoping he will miss me and get in touch, you guys have really opened my eyes and given me some food for thought.

 

I need some time to think over everything that has happened so far and decide how I actually feel about him and the situation and not just the fact that we are no longer together.

 

A few people have commented that I can't make him do anything. I kept thinking "If only I does this, if only I do that..." Perhaps i am immature in relationships and a cry baby (so far!) mainly because this was my most adult relationship to date - i had never talked of marriage and children with previous boyfriends. That means that I have taken the break-up harder than when other relationships didn't work out, but hopefully now I can begin to consider what everyone here has commented on and begin to move on...

 

Day 14NC - That's a start at least.

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Hi Bulletproof,

You could have stolen my thoughts from when we were together - i did indeed go to sleep feeling how thankful and lucky I was. In answer to Itsallgood - He 'seemed' to have all the qualities I could ever have hoped for in a partner - but yes, now I am beginning to see he was acting the part rather than genuinely feeling it.

 

I thought feeling happy and grateful was so positive, not that it could mean the relationship was one-sided, as he said all the right words about me too.

 

The weekend he disappeared during my revision, he had been to a sports game with my friend's boyfriend. My friend told me her boyfriend felt rubbish because he resented his girlfriend being busy with revision the whole time, whereas my ex had spent the whole game talking about me, how proud he was of me and how hard I was working and how much he loved me. That night he dropped me off at my house and disappeared. Yeah. Actions and words spring to mind.

 

Both the friend and her boyfriend were floored when they found out what happened - Even more so when she told me that day at the game he had invited them both to come and join us for a weekend soon after exams at 'our' house by the sea. Utterly bizarre.

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He realized that a relationship with you didn't fix him or his life. he now might be regretting losing everything, as life on the outside of it is not as peachy as he thought. And he is mourning the end of his marriage. He is finding juggling coparenting is not as easy as he thought and the kids are suffering for it. Life just became more complicated. He will either mope or just move on to another woman. please never contact him again.

 

Please come away with this reviewing why you go for unavailable men. You might do so deep down because you don't feel worthy of an equal, mutual and healthy relationship.

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Abitbroken,

 

I never saw this as an affair because from day 1 we worked towards being together and he did leave, so I naively perhaps believed that he was the exception to the rule, who genuinely wanted to start a new relationship, and a new life, not just have an affair or string me along.

 

Unavailable - I now realise emotionally he is. The problem is, it took two years for that to become apparent, because initially our happiness at being together covered many of our problems.

 

His divorce just seemed something we were waiting for the final decree absolute on before we could get engaged (no idea for certain - But it has most likely been finalised by now)

I didn't view him as unavailable and he often talked of not being able to wait til we could become officially engaged. He gave me a promise ring that I wore on my left hand, before i went to university - until he was in a position to replace it with the official ring once he was legally single.

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It was an affair because he was married. It does not matter if he was happily married or not. He had a ring on his finger. There was a marriage license. He left his wife for you. He wasn't a single man or a man who was recently divorced. You can be in denial about it if you want.

 

He was unavailable not just emotionally - he was a married man with children. Men can be unavailable in a number of ways. They can live on the other side of the world and tell you they never have an intent of moving to be near you, They can be preoccupied in their mind with someone else, they can be in prison, they can be below the legal age to marry or....they can be married!

 

 

You are very deep in denial right now. It will take time. I suggest staying away from him and staying away from dating and getting your head straight.

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Your story is similar to mine. However, in my situation, we were both getting divorced (still legally married to other people.) His wife had cheated on him and my husband was abusive. I had no kids, he has a baby with his now ex wife. He would run hot and cold. Between betrayal from the affair and sadness for his baby that was the innocent victim. He over promised everything to me and told me he wanted to marry me and I wanted that and believed him. When he would start pulling back I became clingy and it made everything worse. I did feel like we were special. If it weren't for the trauma we had just experienced and his cray cray ex wife, we would be great. I could never find anything anywhere about a similar situation. I eventually felt like I was too much of an after thought to him and I am very high maintenance/insecure/needy sooo I expressed all of those things and I scared him away. I then initiated NC. I started dating a great guy like two weeks later, but still thought of my ex. He contacted me the first time after 41 days. It wasn't anything important though. Then a month or so he contacted me again and we talked for 2 hours and had a 4 hour dinner the next night. But now I'm feeling terribly guilty because i have a great bf..even though nothing physical happened. What I'm getting at is not everything is cut and dry. Sometimes things are "meant to be", at the same time some people are just messed up and they don't know what they want. I don't. It's hard. I hope things work out for you. I'm sure they will.

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Hi Brokenicegirl,

Thanks for commenting...

How long ago did all this happen? Are you both fully divorced now and how long were you two together?

And how are you feeling now about things? What would you do if your ex told you he wanted you back?..

It seems that there is certainly a pattern of these men promising the earth and then when it comes to the crunch they aren't able to commit. It sounds as though you did everything right by not chasing him (unlike clingy ol' me).

 

I don't feel ready to date anyone else yet, but that's ok. Do you feel like that meeting your current boyfriend has complicated your situation even more or did it help you to start to move and not be tempted to contact your ex?

 

I would be interested to have an update on where you are at now...

Either way, I hope things work out as you would hope.

 

Bella D X

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