My mother is dying

Primary Plasma Cell Leukemia.

She was diagnosed yesterday, and is in the terminal phase.

Just had to tell her how little time she really has (she's hoping for new years, I'm hoping for Thanksgiving, and praying for Christmas).

The doctors were being really evasive with her, and I had to tell her the truth.

My dad is in the beginning stages of dementia, and she's worried about him, I had to reassure her that I'd watch out for him.

My son was there so I tried sooo hard to hold it together for his sake, but now he's in the bath and I'm a complete wreck.

My wife said she won't leave me while this is all happening, but that's only a little condolence, for when this is over, it seems pretty clear she wants to leave the marriage too. She told me two days before my mother was admitted to the hospital.

It's all so much, completely overwhelming me. I've lost 8 pounds this week, my new jeans already don't fit well (bought them last week) and need a belt or they'll fall off they were snug when I bought them.

Can't eat, when I do I can't keep it down. I'm staying out of the bottle, I know if I climb in I'll never find my way back out, but it's so hard, I just want to go numb.

Prayers would be very welcome.

-nbr

don't believe in prayers, but keeping you in thoughts. It's how life goes... my best friend is getting her second brain surgery... my brother in laws mother has cancer that has metastized to her liver, bones, and spine... it's crazy and unreal but you will get through it.

is the relationship with your wife unreprable?

I don't know. She's deep in an emotional affair with an other man, and is blind to what she's doing "he's just a friend". Our MFT hasn't given up, but even she thinks it's 50/50.

I know it's how life works, but right now it's too much all at once. simply too much.

Goodness. I can't even begin to imagine exactly what you're going through. I'm so sorry, and deeply regret that you have to face all of this, simultaneously.

You need to reach out and seek moral support, perhaps, to a group of people that is dealing with a similar situation. Even priests or monks can offer some solace. Professional therapy and self-help books are also recommended. Your rapid weight loss must also be addressed. Will it make a significant difference if your wife leaves you now, considering she will only leave you, anyway?

I pray that you will have the strength and fortitude to get through this massive challenge in your life. I wish you well.

Yeah, it will make a difference. She keeps the house, if she 'leaves' now then I have to add finding a place to live to the pile.

Oh so sorry you are going through this!

What a shocker to add to the huge load you already had on your shoulders.

I hope they are able to keep your mom as comfortable as they can. Spend lots of time with her.

I will say prayers for you and your mom...

Prayers sent.

Hugs nbr. Just hugs.

Have faith.

Sending you strength, understanding, and a big batch of sunshine to light your days during this undoubtedly difficult and confusing time. **hugs**

I pray you will be able to eat again. Your mother is going to need you to be strong. I am so sorry.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I can relate and know what you're going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Me too. Prayers go out to you my friend. I lost my father in february. Stay strong you will get through this.

Me as well nbr .

Thoughts , prayers and much love to you and your mum xxxx

I am so sorry. You are having an unbelievably hard time right now. I will pray for you and your mom.

As someone who lost my mother a couple of months ago, my thoughts go out to you. Your marriage situation of course only makes your situation much more painful.

I hope for your mothers recovery, and I hope that you will take as much care of yourself as possible.

Recovery is not possible, I only pray for a peaceful & painless transition and enough time to say goodbye to her closest friends and relatives.

-nbr

Recovery is not possible, I only pray for a peaceful & painless transition and enough time to say goodbye to her closest friends and relatives.

-nbr

I am sorry I misread your original post.

Quite all right, well wishes are appreciated none the less

I will pray a lot for your mom and for your family right now. It is a lot that is happening all at once. Spend all the time you can with your mother.

just looking in to give you a hug darling xxx your really dealing with a lot and you keep popping into my

mind as the day has gone on .xxxx

I ate today. I am happy

managed to actually eat a taco and keep it down

I don't know how I'm going to keep all this together, mom, marriage, strong for the kids... I know I have to, I just am not sure how.

Thank you everyone, it really does help.

Also proud of myself for staying out of the bottle. I know if I climb in right now I'll not be able to find my way out.

-nbr

I ate today. I am happy

managed to actually eat a taco and keep it down

 

I don't know how I'm going to keep all this together, mom, marriage, strong for the kids... I know I have to, I just am not sure how.

Thank you everyone, it really does help.

 

Also proud of myself for staying out of the bottle. I know if I climb in right now I'll not be able to find my way out.

-nbr

yeah I mean your dealing with the unthinkable here darling .. its been on the tip of my tongue to say try and forget about

the marriage issues right now and just grab every second with your mum and the kids with your mum , lots of pics , lots of smiles ..but I know its not that easy to wipe out the actual reason you came here ..your marriage.

don't waste any energy worrying just how you will get through this darling ..you will come out the other side by hook or by crook ..you will .

please keep up the momentum of leaving the booze alone ..I know you are , but just want to enforce that ..

we are all here nbr , whenever you need one of us to hold you up ..we will ..

lots of love xxx

Had my wife pour me a drink last night (bourbon and soda), of an amount she deemed appropriate. Never even finished it, but she poured it weak (by my old drinking standards ). It helped me get to sleep, but yeah, not going back to that well, I felt the pull even from that.

I can't get her wanting to leave out of my head, she put it on hold, but it's a sword of Damocles hanging over my head.

She's been giving me messages so mixed lately that James Bond would be jealous of how well shaken they are would they be a martini.

She actually asked how I'd feel living together but seeing other people today! I know she's both trying to justify to herself and trying to make me feel like we'd be together, but WTH?!?! I couldn't live like that, even if there was a no sex rule I'd not be able to do that.

ech, this is supposed to be about mom, I'll go whine in one of my other threads.

Star (and everyone, esp, iamkaylee), you've all been so wonderful.

-nbr

She can't put off dating even now?

Get that out of the house. Healing can never begin with her there.

hiya darling ...big sunday morning hug coming your way xx

oh that sense of humour is still there ,I am sat chuckling to myself ...

yes I do agree with you about the sword of damocles hanging over you.

can't fekcing believe she asked at a time like this if you want to see other people and live together ...dear god nbr

just incase your load wasnt big enough she thought she would give a bit more .....

you vent away darling man .....I am all ears xx

Well...

I'm in a bottle, but I put it away for now. I swear it wasn't that much, but an empty stomach is a b***h, wife got me to make dinner, that should help.

Well, we got mom home. Got the hospital bed in place.

I have to say, my wife was amazing today. She held me together. Hugs were there as needed, a kick or two in the butt when that was needed. My daughter was at a friends for a church day activity and sleepover, my son was with us.

It was a good day.

-nbr