Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 33

Thread: Why do women like a man who takes charge?

  1. #1
    jul-els
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    3,300
    Thanked
    19

    Why do women like a man who takes charge?

    Ok, I'm just playing devil's advocate here as a means to discussion, but I'm curious to hear people's answers on this. I know women will cite their reasons; it exudes confidence, confidence is attractive, etc.. But what I'm wondering, perhaps wrongly or rightly, does it also have anything-in however big or small a way-to do with being able to blame the man if something goes wrong? I'm interested to hear the replies. Ok, discuss.

  2. #2
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    50
    Posts
    31,431
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5122
    No, it has nothing to do with the man being "to blame" if something goes wrong. It has more to do with the fact that he is reliable.You know you do not have to be responsible for everything. That someone has your back.

  3. #3
    pippy longstocking
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    london
    Posts
    10,460
    Thanked
    2665
    agree with lady vic ...nothing to do with blame ...

    I can only speak for myself ..obviously ...but I am just perfectly happy been the little woman ..my alfie is the
    first man who took "charge" with love and care and not control and abuse ..so I have spent a lifetime been the provider,
    the organiser , the gaffer ....and you know what ....I was quite happy to sit back and let him take the reigns ..

  4. #4
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    50
    Posts
    31,431
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5122
    Yes, to me "take charge"= I care about you. When my husband learned to take charge over the last little while I was THRILLED. It mean't I was no longer a one woman show.Being everything and doing everything is exhausting. I did that long enough. Now he can take over and do it for a while. Now I feel he has my back.

  5. #5
    nutbrownhare
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    6,477
    Thanked
    1311
    I feel wary whenever I see statements along the lines of "Men like..." or "Women want..." because it's a nonsense to assume that any sweeping statement can apply to an entire gender.

    In ALL my relationships, I don't want either to control, or be controlled. This holds true for friendships as well as romantic relationships. I feel very uncomfortable around men who either want to be in charge - telling me what to do, how to do things I'm perfectly capable of doing on my own, all the rest... OR guys who want to sit back and be looked after in a way which is completely inappropriate for an adult.

  6. #6
    tvnerdgirl
    Platinum Member tvnerdgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,224
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    645
    I don't want to be "controlled", or "control" anybody (both have problems in different ways) but it is nice to know that you have someone who can take charge of a situation when things get to be difficult. Now, I am perfectly capable of handling myself...I can live alone and take care of myself and my husband knows this. He knows that if I get hit on in a bar I can handle it without having him intervene or when something difficult takes place I can take care of it. But it's nice sometimes to know that he supports me, and that he would stand up for me if I needed him to. Nothing about wanting to have someone to blame.

  7. #7
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    50
    Posts
    31,431
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5122
    Quote Originally Posted by nutbrownhare [Register to see the link]
    I feel wary whenever I see statements along the lines of "Men like..." or "Women want..." because it's a nonsense to assume that any sweeping statement can apply to an entire gender.

    In ALL my relationships, I don't want either to control, or be controlled. This holds true for friendships as well as romantic relationships. I feel very uncomfortable around men who either want to be in charge - telling me what to do, how to do things I'm perfectly capable of doing on my own, all the rest... OR guys who want to sit back and be looked after in a way which is completely inappropriate for an adult.
    Oh for me "take charge" has nothing to do with tell me what to do. Let me explain. This summer I decided where to go for the holiday. He made all the money for it and called all the hotels, he looked for everything, he drove....etc. In previous years I planned where but I also came up with the money, I called all the hotels. I was the emergency man etc. I was the "go to person" for everything. After 23 years of living like that I am exhausted. I was MORE THAN thrilled he took the reigns and wants to participate rather than just be along for the ride.

    That is more what I meant.

    I guess it depends on what "take charge" means to each person.

  8. #8
    HeatherB
    Platinum Member HeatherB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    1,418
    Thanked
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by jul-els [Register to see the link]
    Ok, I'm just playing devil's advocate here as a means to discussion, but I'm curious to hear people's answers on this. I know women will cite their reasons; it exudes confidence, confidence is attractive, etc.. But what I'm wondering, perhaps wrongly or rightly, does it also have anything-in however big or small a way-to do with being able to blame the man if something goes wrong? I'm interested to hear the replies. Ok, discuss.
    So I can point at him and go "He did it!" if something goes wrong? haha No. I like a guy who can step up when circumstances warrant it. It means he's brave.

  9. #9
    camus154
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    5,612
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    88
    I'll limit this to one specific scenario--dating.

    From my own experience, you set yourself well apart from other men by taking control of making plans for a date. A lot of men are very meek and wishy washy when it comes to this and are too focused on approval-seeking behavior. "Well, uh, what would you like to do? What day works best for you? What time will you be ready to go out?" All of this means you're making the woman work just to set a date, instead of simply saying "I'll pick you up Friday at 7:00--have an appetite!"

  10. #10
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    50
    Posts
    31,431
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5122
    Quote Originally Posted by camus154 [Register to see the link]
    I'll limit this to one specific scenario--dating.

    From my own experience, you set yourself well apart from other men by taking control of making plans for a date. A lot of men are very meek and wishy washy when it comes to this and are too focused on approval-seeking behavior. "Well, uh, what would you like to do? What day works best for you? What time will you be ready to go out?" All of this means you're making the woman work just to set a date, instead of simply saying "I'll pick you up Friday at 7:00--have an appetite!"
    There we go! I want a man who is using his own brain, not renting mine.

  11.  

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
She thinks I'm her therapist...
Hi everyone, it's been a while so I hope you are all going well! :) Okay, so here's an interesting one for you... I'm going to sound like the
Dream of son which is not mine
Hello all, This is quite strange because yesterday I just dreamed about a man with his child. He had divorced definitely, and his son was 4-5
Lingering sadness
Im really struggling w the idea of growing old w no significant partner to share life with. I am working hard toward a fullfilling life among friends
boyfriend and my sister?
my boyfriend comes round to my house a lot and talk to my family etc. just normal and everyone loves him! anyway, one of my sisters always always
why did he hide her from me?
ok so it all started summer of 2012, one night I was bored on twitter, I saw this guy we had many mutuals he was really funny so I followed
Did you ever just go over and over a situation
So as the title says have you ever just let a person or situation go around and around in your head till it drove you nuts and what did you do to
Help!
Hello, I Need some advice. My current partner is really paranoid about what I'm doing/who I'm talking to. But he has a child with his ex partner. She

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I didnt know this was cheating until i saw how much it hurt him
So my boyfriend and I have been together 8 months. It's been pretty close to perfect over all until last weekend. We trusted each other before this
Interview Vibes
Hello, eNA! I have posted a few times about my career search - thank you all for the help! I've been having a lot more luck lately and have four
Ex from seven years ago married
My ex from seven years got married in November 2016 he began dating this girl eight months after dumping me.hiw have I found this out? By the
❌Did i just get stood up????❌
A few weeks ago this guy and i started texting. It was a pretty instant interest right from the start, on both ends. He kept telling me how
HELP My boyfriend blocked me after an argument
Almost 3 weeks ago me and my (EX) boyfriend that ive been seeing for about a year had a huge explosive and petty fight over him being selfish/ self
My wife has zero trust in me
So we have been married for about 8 months now, everything was fine prior to marriage. From the day we got married to today, it has been a living
21, in a relationship and sexually frustrated
I'm 21 (female) and I'm dating a 28 year old. Ive had my round of men before him so I know exactly what I like during sex and he's PERFECT. But what
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •