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Thread: Why do women like a man who takes charge?

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    jul-els
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    Why do women like a man who takes charge?

    Ok, I'm just playing devil's advocate here as a means to discussion, but I'm curious to hear people's answers on this. I know women will cite their reasons; it exudes confidence, confidence is attractive, etc.. But what I'm wondering, perhaps wrongly or rightly, does it also have anything-in however big or small a way-to do with being able to blame the man if something goes wrong? I'm interested to hear the replies. Ok, discuss.

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    ~Seraphim ~
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    No, it has nothing to do with the man being "to blame" if something goes wrong. It has more to do with the fact that he is reliable.You know you do not have to be responsible for everything. That someone has your back.

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    pippy longstocking
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    agree with lady vic ...nothing to do with blame ...

    I can only speak for myself ..obviously ...but I am just perfectly happy been the little woman ..my alfie is the
    first man who took "charge" with love and care and not control and abuse ..so I have spent a lifetime been the provider,
    the organiser , the gaffer ....and you know what ....I was quite happy to sit back and let him take the reigns ..

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    Yes, to me "take charge"= I care about you. When my husband learned to take charge over the last little while I was THRILLED. It mean't I was no longer a one woman show.Being everything and doing everything is exhausting. I did that long enough. Now he can take over and do it for a while. Now I feel he has my back.

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    nutbrownhare
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    I feel wary whenever I see statements along the lines of "Men like..." or "Women want..." because it's a nonsense to assume that any sweeping statement can apply to an entire gender.

    In ALL my relationships, I don't want either to control, or be controlled. This holds true for friendships as well as romantic relationships. I feel very uncomfortable around men who either want to be in charge - telling me what to do, how to do things I'm perfectly capable of doing on my own, all the rest... OR guys who want to sit back and be looked after in a way which is completely inappropriate for an adult.

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    tvnerdgirl
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    I don't want to be "controlled", or "control" anybody (both have problems in different ways) but it is nice to know that you have someone who can take charge of a situation when things get to be difficult. Now, I am perfectly capable of handling myself...I can live alone and take care of myself and my husband knows this. He knows that if I get hit on in a bar I can handle it without having him intervene or when something difficult takes place I can take care of it. But it's nice sometimes to know that he supports me, and that he would stand up for me if I needed him to. Nothing about wanting to have someone to blame.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nutbrownhare [Register to see the link]
    I feel wary whenever I see statements along the lines of "Men like..." or "Women want..." because it's a nonsense to assume that any sweeping statement can apply to an entire gender.

    In ALL my relationships, I don't want either to control, or be controlled. This holds true for friendships as well as romantic relationships. I feel very uncomfortable around men who either want to be in charge - telling me what to do, how to do things I'm perfectly capable of doing on my own, all the rest... OR guys who want to sit back and be looked after in a way which is completely inappropriate for an adult.
    Oh for me "take charge" has nothing to do with tell me what to do. Let me explain. This summer I decided where to go for the holiday. He made all the money for it and called all the hotels, he looked for everything, he drove....etc. In previous years I planned where but I also came up with the money, I called all the hotels. I was the emergency man etc. I was the "go to person" for everything. After 23 years of living like that I am exhausted. I was MORE THAN thrilled he took the reigns and wants to participate rather than just be along for the ride.

    That is more what I meant.

    I guess it depends on what "take charge" means to each person.

  8. #8
    HeatherB
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    Quote Originally Posted by jul-els [Register to see the link]
    Ok, I'm just playing devil's advocate here as a means to discussion, but I'm curious to hear people's answers on this. I know women will cite their reasons; it exudes confidence, confidence is attractive, etc.. But what I'm wondering, perhaps wrongly or rightly, does it also have anything-in however big or small a way-to do with being able to blame the man if something goes wrong? I'm interested to hear the replies. Ok, discuss.
    So I can point at him and go "He did it!" if something goes wrong? haha No. I like a guy who can step up when circumstances warrant it. It means he's brave.

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    camus154
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    I'll limit this to one specific scenario--dating.

    From my own experience, you set yourself well apart from other men by taking control of making plans for a date. A lot of men are very meek and wishy washy when it comes to this and are too focused on approval-seeking behavior. "Well, uh, what would you like to do? What day works best for you? What time will you be ready to go out?" All of this means you're making the woman work just to set a date, instead of simply saying "I'll pick you up Friday at 7:00--have an appetite!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by camus154 [Register to see the link]
    I'll limit this to one specific scenario--dating.

    From my own experience, you set yourself well apart from other men by taking control of making plans for a date. A lot of men are very meek and wishy washy when it comes to this and are too focused on approval-seeking behavior. "Well, uh, what would you like to do? What day works best for you? What time will you be ready to go out?" All of this means you're making the woman work just to set a date, instead of simply saying "I'll pick you up Friday at 7:00--have an appetite!"
    There we go! I want a man who is using his own brain, not renting mine.

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