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Thread: "Why does a title matter so much to you? We're pretty much a couple..."

  1. #11
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    95% is not a 100%. So she's still not ready, she's holding back on you because she's probably not interested in merging together to make a relationship. Yet, she's trying to talk the kind of lingo that you want to hear to keep you from running off. So my guess is that she really does want to be with you, but she doesn't want to be with you. Make sense. It's the old one foot in the door and one foot out mentality. She wants you just enough so that nobody else can have you, but at the sametime she doesn't want the responsibility. She says that a title doesn't matter and that you guys are pretty much a couple and that's BS. Titles do matter. That's just a way of her manipulating the situation to suit her needs. Kids are afraid of titles; Adults should not be. If you're an item, you're an item. If your in a relationship, your in a relationship, what's the big deal? You might as well be if you both don't wish to talk to anybody else. Red flags are flying on this one and I'm worried that as your feelings get more intense, she's going to drop the bomb on you. I would be careful with this one.

  2. #12
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    Just did this. Run the **** away mate. Run as fast as u can and keep your dignity. The only way she'll take u as a partner and not a rebound is months and months and months of NC and then an accidental reconciliation. Work on yourself the whole time of NC even looking for someone much better. There's a girl who will commit and give u what u need.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    The solution? Be flexible. If meeting for a late night dessert or an early morning coffee or lunch on her weekend workdays is something you can do - do it. Have your date night or whatever but she needs time to handle her other business. Also, you say don't judge a rebound, but she is not ready to be in a full fledged relationship yet. She hasn't fully healed from her ex kicking her out.

    really?talking about combining incomes already? Not the best solution.,
    AGREE. She sounds like an independent soul building a career. She may be recovering her career a bit after disruption brought about by the distraction of the BU 6 m back. She may be sensitive to people thinking she dates a lot. Women and men are subject to different standards, in subtle ways, and between social pressures and traditional parenting, it can take a woman a long time to own herself with regards to her personal relationships. You started out as casual, and it grew. She told her friends it was casual, now she has a credibility problem. She needs time to let the relationship mature.

    To X's suggestion of moving in and curtailing her hours: in many fields, this would simply lead to job loss. I have worked in consulting and banking fields, and in some cases, relationships were maintained while not even knowing what city one's SO is in. Travel can be sudden, assignments and demands can be fluid. Being unavailable on the weekends is possible, but at some cost. You might applaud her independence and decide whether you can move at her pace.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Does it ever happen that two adults with active lives full of commitment arrive at the same place at the same time? Are we looking for a relationship with someone, or someone with whom we want a relationship?

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