How Do You Feel Today?

This is a thread for people who are trying to cope with breakup or divorce to post how they are feeling today and to process any events that have happened to make them feel happy, sad, hopefuly, etc. I am starting this thread because I don't want to start a new thread everytime I have something to say about how I feel, but I do feel that posting is thereputic.

I talked to my ex last night. She essentially reaffirmed why she broke up with me. After the conversation, I felt the best that I have since the breakup. It isn't because I am hopeful (though she said she missed me, didn't think this is necessarily the right path, that there's no one else) but I felt better because I really do believe I deserve better than what she is given me. I kinda think it was my ego that was bruised (still is) more than the loss of the relationship. I am also hating the uncomfortable feeling because my ex and I did everything together and now I have to pick up the pieces alone and move on. But after the conversation, I felt good and optimistic.

This morning, I could barely get out of bed. I'm at work and all i want to do is go home and sleep. Sleep is my new best friend. I can't wait until the weekend so I don't have to drag myself out of bed and I can just sleep. Though I can sleep - my sleep patters are erratic. I can get about 5 hours of good sleep and then I wake up and get on and off sleep between thoughts of the breakup.

Still finding it hard to concentrate at work, but I'm going to try to get my work done today. We'll see how it goes.

I feel like any female within an 8 mile radius around my town should flee for cover or risk being f'ed rotten in the wake of what is now brewing inside of me. I am about to release my goodie bag all over the place. That is all.

To sum it up in one word: *****ty. Tired of chasing after the ghost of a relationship with someone who just barely exists anymore. Tired of waiting to feel the same apathy and indifference she's felt since day 1 of the BU. And tired of wishing I were the person now that I want to and know I will be one day because of this experience.

P.S. stop talking to your ex John and accept what is happening. Contact = pain. No contact = healing. You are sad now. It sucks being sad. Get angry. Give me a choice between anger and sadness, anger wins every time. Its a motivator and capable of moving you forward. What have you done that is "new" lately? What have you done that has nothing at all to do with her or your time together, and everything to do with YOU without her? The word "new" is almost synonymous to healing in my book.

Gym, Eat, Drink, Breathe my friend......four words that saved my life when I went through my divorce almost 4 years ago.....those should be your new motto. All four of them you need right now....don't forget to breathe! And hit that gym like no other. And lift weights at the gym....not just cardio. Dude, this is your life. She is going to be memories this is going to happen no matter what trajectory you choose from this point forward....you can be the lump on the couch that she will never respect, or you can start laying the foundations of a new better and more exciting life for YOU........either way, the reality is that this is happening no matter what. Choose wisely.

I'll never forget the time that I was sitting at a bar pouring myself into a glass of whiskey while texting one of my best friends about my then wife who had been lying to me at the time about why she wanted a divorce......I felt sad for her and wanted the best for her and I was so upset and hurt.....his text to me: "that's cool man, just let me know when I can get the FU b**tch's going ok?" I almost pissed myself laughing and I think that was one of the turning points for me lol. Love that guy haha...Anyway.....the point is....get up, get angry, and start understanding that the answer is the same no matter what you want right now. Whether you want her back, or you want to move on....the answer is the same....you must move on and be indifferent toward her with no contact and no show of feelings to her when you do contact her (but don't contact her!). That moves you out of the box she placed you in man. She painted you with a color of her choice. You are that color. You are in that box. Anything else validates her reasons. Start being indifferent to her, and doing new things for yourself and step out of that box. It is then that your chances of her actually questioning her own decisions about you "might" occur. And by then? chances are you will not even want her. But if you do, that is the only way I feel that the option could present itself again....trust me man, I promise you will be ok if you do this...

Rock, see above...take what you can. It works man. And I am going to heed my own words from now on too.

Thanks man. That's my new motto. Its just the newness of all this is hitting me. But I am not going to contact her again. She has my number and if she wants to contact me, she knows where to find me. In the meantime, I'm going to move on.

^^^^^^^AWESOME!!!! Just because your wrote that, you have now begun the path of healing=)

And when this is all said and done, and you have come through this as a stronger better wiser man, I hope that you will lay some of this knowledge on others to help them as well. Pay it forward my brother and your Karma will be coming back ten fold.

I am doing awesome, my ex is moving 10 states away, and im casually dating 3 women. Whats not to love

Loveandlost I am with ya man....It is time to start my engine again.

Today i'm feeling ok. My emotions are not as dramatic as they have been.

I'm not obsessing over him so much anymore. He is still on my mind regularly throughout the day, but i'm not beating myself up about it much now and i feel calmer and able to enjoy things more now.

I'm just trying to savour these feelings while i have them, because i know as soon as i slow down and i'm not as busy, the emotions will hit me again and i'm expecting it.

I have no desire to contact him at the moment. Which i'm pleased about. When i think of him i try and push the thoughts away.

I am just a bit worried i might be running away from my emotions by keeping busy, but i don't know what else to do.

Limiya

Limiya, first off....you must have that super sexy British accent then huh??..No matter!=) Have you been doing anything new and healthy for yourself lately? Something that has nothing to do with him? Everything to do with you?

I feel stupid for believing in his intentions once more and let myself be dissapointed - one more time.

But I think this is the lowest it gets...

im with ya both loveandlost and chama; i wouldnt even go so far as 'dating', just have 3 different hook-ups on the line. Feels good, it's good ego juice.

Still get my weak moments when the ex pops into my head... ran into her new beau (my former best friend) a couple days ago and just set me off. But I get my rocks off with some new cutie and feel better.

I went out with one last night and she is super into me. Had one of those nights where I could do no wrong. It was like I planned this crazy romantic night but I didn't at all. Live music, great food, friends who I haven't seen in a while ran into us and we had a blast. The girl texted me this morning "I just woke up and you are on my mind sexy..." I hardly even touched her too...not sure that I am attracted enough to her. But still, she was affectionate which I really enjoy and it is good ego juice as Steel said=)

Tonight I have another date with a girl who I went out with last week. But she wasn't sure about me then and I guess at the time I thought we had a good connection. I was attracted to her. But I guess she wasn't feeling it "enough" as she put it. Well I was super nice to her anyway and walked her all the way to the T. Gave her a hug and a wink and sent her on her way....she texted me on Monday..."I want to see you again chama, what do you think about that?" I said "maybe"....then yesterday agreed to meet her tonight. Oh my lord is she in for it this time. She may as well go straight to my apartment, strip herself naked, and......well you get the picture.

The beast has awoken and you should all pray for the young ladies in my area.....I am going to lay them all to waste. Compliments of my ex-gf and her treatment of me. Thank you! thank you! I'll be here all night! Try the veal!

I feel like crap. That is all.

Johndoe take some time to focus on anything you can learn from the relationship, things you may have done wrong. Figure out how in future relationships you can avoid making those mistakes. Then go have some casual sex with some hotties. Seriously it may not be the PC thing to say, but its been the number 1 way to get over a ex since the beginning of humanity.

I feel really drained-emotionally, mentally, physically.

Been sleeping 3 hours a night for nearly two weeks now.

Still wake up every morning around 530am bc I'm used to him calling me at that time everyday as he heads to the gym before work (he calls 3-4 times a day when we don't see each other).

My heart just feels heavy.

^ Meaningless sex just makes you feel more empty and miss them even more. It's pointless.

im with ya both loveandlost and chama; i wouldnt even go so far as 'dating', just have 3 different hook-ups on the line. Feels good, it's good ego juice.

 

Still get my weak moments when the ex pops into my head... ran into her new beau (my former best friend) a couple days ago and just set me off. But I get my rocks off with some new cutie and feel better.

Eh... Ouch that must have hurt, what an amazing best friend.

 

^ Meaningless sex just makes you feel more empty and miss them even more. It's pointless.

Honestly I wonder if this is a male vs female thing. I have never met a guy who said "i wish i didn't have meaningless sex with that woman"

I half agree with LL. I don't believe it's possible to F it away (at least for me). BUT it does help my ego, which has had a thrashing, to have some girl scream my name again. And I am all about helping "myself" right about now. To me, anything new that has nothing to do with HER (naked girls on and over my couch included) helps me heal. I'm not saying it will fix things. But it will help me string together what little pride I still have left.

Tomorrow I train hard at mma school and continue to do things for ME by being healthy, meeting new people, and keeping in great shape.....

What have you done for YOU lately that's healthy, new, and social? Btw...casual sex happens to hit all three of those criteria haha=P

My ex told me he got told to go just f a few women to get me out of his system, but he finds the idea repulsive(he broke up with me cos of some things I did, so it was my fault). Guess it's an individual thing, not a gender thing. I don't get emotionally attached through sex, but casual sex only temporarily masks the pain. Once youre done, wouldn't it feel really empty? When you're lying next to them?

WHen you're lying there in the dark, you'll be missing them wouldn't you? I dunno, I just think if you actually love someone, sleeping with 20 chicks after to get over them will do nothing but make you feel more distant.

Haha the lyrics are awesome.

My ex from last year has been emailing me and I know that if we saw each other he probably would jump me cos I just found out he still misses me. Even though I feel sad and lonely I just can't you know? What's the point of sleeping with sb you don't care about just to feel alive, just to distract your sad thoughts for a few seconds?

Maybe I'm just extra sensitive, but I just can't.

It all feels draining to me. Casual sex...future relationships...it is just draining. My thing is I'm just going to take as much time off from women as needed and then when my heart is over this one, get back in the game.

My ex told me he got told to go just f a few women to get me out of his system, but he finds the idea repulsive(he broke up with me cos of some things I did, so it was my fault). Guess it's an individual thing, not a gender thing. I don't get emotionally attached through sex, but casual sex only temporarily masks the pain. Once youre done, wouldn't it feel really empty? When you're lying next to them?

 

WHen you're lying there in the dark, you'll be missing them wouldn't you? I dunno, I just think if you actually love someone, sleeping with 20 chicks after to get over them will do nothing but make you feel more distant.

I'd be lying in the dark missing her anyway, alone or with a naked sweaty chick next to me. And you're right, it does make me feel more distant.. from her. I didn't have a sex drive the first 2 months after the BU, couldn't even think of sex with anyone else. But now that it's back, its with a vengeance. And so i'll take advantage of it. Why should she be having all the fun while I stew in misery? Nope. I'm having fun. Moving forward.

I feel empty anyway. It takes time to heal the heart. But you may as well have as much fun as you can and treat "yourself" well while you do it. For me its Train, Eat, Drink, Casual Sex, Breathe.......rinse repeat......don't forget to breathe!

Do things for YOU. No matter what it is.... That's how you heal the heart.

haha me and Steel seem to be of one mind....You cover the left coast, I'll cover the right my brother!