Boyfriend started 'liking' half-naked girls on facebook

[kittykins]

Hi there.
My boyfriend of less than one year has suddenly started 'liking' half naked girls pages on facebook, and it really hurts me. Today he added one about big boobs that post daily pics of scantily clad girls... I'm not the thinnest, nor do I have big boobs, so this really bothered me. I feel utterly humiliated and insecure because obviously everybody can see that he has done this! I mentioned it to him today in a text and he brushed it off saying that it would be weird if he didn't like boobs. He is, I hate to say this, a lot more inexperienced in relationships than me. I've been engaged and had long term relationships, whereas he has had 1 girlfriend prior to me (less than one year). He truly is a very loving and caring man, I do love him very much, and he loves me. Which is why I can't help feeling that he has not done this to seem 'piggish' or juvenile intentionally. Despite this, I feel so angry and ashamed. I feel like he's disrespecting me and the relationship, in full view of everyone. We've had problems before involving photos. He used to talk about his ex a lot, and I mean a lot... He had stacks of photos of her on his computer, including dirty ones, and kept calling her by her pet name. He even told me what sexy outfits she wore for him and pointed them out in a shop!!! I had to make a stand and make him realize the damage he was doing to me and the relationship. He didn't realize how disrespectful of me it was to keep the dirty pics and deleted them after I challenged him about it. He even cried for forgiveness, I felt like when I was explaining why he couldn't have them like I was talking to a child. He really is quite naive I think.

Please give me your advice on the facebook situation. I do feel a bit silly and like I'm over-reacting. Am I? I'm also hesitant to have a talk with him about it just yet because I feel like I'm repeating myself. I really don't want the ex-factor to resurface again! Aaargh!
Thank you in advance!
Kittyxx

[camus154]

Facebook doesn't matter. It's not real life. A young guy "liking" half-naked women isn't really all that scandalous.

[buddha55]

I don't know... I mean obviously people are going to find others attractive but I always think it's so odd when men hang those kinds of photos or just go surfing for them... what is the fascination? I wouldn't be with a guy like that because it's just not my style. Seems to be his though... I would maybe try to understand the need? I'm no sure...

[Butterfly~Wrists]

It's facebook, I like pictures/pages of half naked girls and im a girl myself.. it doesn't bother me when the person I'm with does it, after all they are with me and if they didn't want to be, they wouldnt be. Try and trust him, if it really hurts you then explain that to him, but tbh it's not that big of a deal over all. at least I dont think it is...

[becomingkate]

My boyfriend of less than one year has suddenly started 'liking' half naked girls pages on facebook, and it really hurts me. Today he added one about big boobs that post daily pics of scantily clad girls... I'm not the thinnest, nor do I have big boobs, so this really bothered me. I feel utterly humiliated and insecure because obviously everybody can see that he has done this! I mentioned it to him today in a text and he brushed it off saying that it would be weird if he didn't like boobs.

I think that there are levels of responsibility that go along with commitment, so I would view it differently if you were living together or had been together for a couple of years.

It just seems as though he's not completely committed. How long was it between the end of his last relationship and the beginning of yours?

He truly is a very loving and caring man, I do love him very much, and he loves me.

I think he needs a bit of time to adjust to your relatively new relationship. I'm not saying ignore it forever, but I think most men adapt this behaviour once they feel totally committed to someone.

Nudity is all over the web anyway. Most sites lead to it when I'm reading entertainment blogs (Drunken Stepfather comes to mind) so I'm sure the same thing happens to my husband. I'm not worried about that, or him comparing me to some nude pic he saw somewhere.

How he presents himself online is a different story. He wouldn't share or like stuff like that because our families and work associates would see it.

I think that it's good to have boundaries! But for now, let him get to that place on his own, without pushing him. I think that's how some relationships end up being rebounds - for not taking the time that's needed to reach true intimacy.

[buddha55]

I don't even think it's about that... even if my boyfriend was flipping through a maxim or playboy I don't think he would be comparing me. It's not a threatening thing, it's just weird to me that a guy would just dedicate some time to looking at photos of "Sexy women" on the internet. seriously nothing better to do? I have a HIGH sex drive and I am not just looking at men on the internet or googling some hotties.

[camus154]

it's just weird to me that a guy would just dedicate some time to looking at photos of "Sexy women" on the internet. seriously nothing better to do?

Lol, you must not understand how the internet works for most people with idle time

[Batya33]

Isn't he concerned about what potential employers or colleagues/co-workers would be able to see if he ever needed a new job? Don't let him get away with the "I'd be weird if I didn't like boobs" comment - finding the female body attractive is a far cry from his behavior posting these pictures and connecting with these women he doesn't know. I'd see it as a red flag, including his silly excuse.