Researching suicide

I have no hope left. My life has become daily torture. I blew all my chances at life and now I'm nothing but a waste. The pain is unbearable.

So I'm starting to research suicide; I want to do this right.

Hi John,

I'm so sorry things are hard right now. I see that you are 27 years old, I'm 26 and my life is no where near what I want it to be. But that's the great thing about life isn't it? You never know what is around the next corner.

Have you ever talked to anyone, a professional, about these feelings? If not I really recommend it. It helped me a lot.

I hope I get to talk to you soon.

No one on here will make any suggestions on how to end your life, John. Where there is life there is hope, so why would you want to throw all hope away?

You are not a waste.

You are a unique and unrepeatable mystery of this earth. You are incredible and you are loved, I promise you.

Take it one day at a time, just one foot in front of the other. Like Moontiger said, talk to someone. They can help and get you started on the right path to where you want to be.

And nobody here will offer you advice on how to die. They can, however, offer advice on how to live if you want it, and I so hope you do.

Talk to you soon, friend.

John,

Questions:

1. If the pain was bearable and/or if you could feel it was starting to ease up, would you then decide *against* ending your life?

2. And have you thought about setting yourself a rough, realistically fair deadline just as a "s*d-it,-may-as-well-go-for-it,-got-nothing-to-lose!" experiment to see whether any effort you make under this new, no-need-for-fear/devil-may-care attitude between now and then might start to improve any of the past or current situations that are getting you down? Think about it...really, really think about it: it may well be a *lack* of this attitude that's been holding you back and dragging you down up until now. Is that a fair hypothesis, do you think?

I speak from first-hand experience, btw. So trust me - there is LOTS you can try rather than going straight for such an extreme - nay, THE extreme measure.

I have now been "planning to kill myself" for about - ooooh... thirty-one years. But I keep finding reasons not to... just yet....not quite yet.

Try it - it's liberating!

RSVP for more detailed tips.

xoxo

John what are these chances you think you have blown?

Just remember Whenever one door closes, another opens.

And for those doors you decide you want back open...there are loopholes

John no one will tell you how to end your life. We will offer to help you find ways to live again.

You still have chances John.

John, I hit my lowest point at the age of 27, too. No joke or exaggeration. You do sound a lot like I did.

Had suicidal thoughts. Thought I would NEVER get my life on track, that I was doomed. Unlucky, not meant to have what seemed to come so easily for so many others (every area of my life was messed up and I had been through some very traumatic stuff.. I was fed up with dealing with it all and I felt truly alone and uncared for) I even stopped attending positive events (weddings, baby showers, ANY celebration, really...It pained me to see so many people so happy..it seemed like salt in my wounds)

BUT, I hung in there. And I am SO glad I did. A few years later, my life started to turn around. And in my mid-thirties, I am so happy and SO glad I pushed through the crap. I love my life now!! I am finally getting all that I wanted (and have worked so hard to get) Of course, it's not perfect, we all have struggles and stress and plain old crap...but overall, I am very content.

So please please don't give up. You could be depriving yourself of a wonderful life that could be just around the corner. You just gotta hang in there.

Please listen to everyone here.

I think it's safe to say most that have commented have been in your place, including myself.

Hell, I tried to kill myself once, failed, my mother found out and she didn't even care. That actually made me want to live. I wanted to show her I was worth the time of day even if it meant nothing to her.

I'm in a much better place in my life now. Things are lining up. Stop looking down, the ground is jsut too filthy when there's a sky of art above you.

I didn't ask anyone for suggestions on how to end my life; I'm sorry I didn't make that clear. I am researching it elsewhere.

Depression destroyed my life. I will never get that time back. All I can think about are the years that are gone, where I could have been something more.

Because at this point, I am a pitiful excuse for a human being. The shame of having been so crippled by my depression that I couldn't accomplish anything tortures my mind and soul. I cannot sleep, I can barely eat, I break out in tears. I am utterly destroyed.

I wish I could go back and tell my 20-year-old self, before he dropped out of college, to get help. To fight somehow. I don't know if it would have made a difference. But maybe it would have. I was still young enough then to be sympathetic. But now, at this age, still being broken, I am merely an object of pity.

I cannot stand this endless pain. Ending my life seems welcome, as I am dying a much slower death anyway.

A few hours ago I was going to kill myself. I was in my room, I felt like absolute **** and I wanted more than anything to have someone come in and shoot me in the head to make the pain stop. I decided to focus on ONE thing and do it, and I set a time frame. I gave myself two hours to go run and do yoga, and I gave myself permission to forget everything else and just concentrate on the music and the P90 X person's instructions (I have a yoga dvd)

So I just went on a run and did some yoga for 20 minutes (first time trying it out by the way!) and of course, all my problems aren't solved but I feel a lot calmer now. Now I'm planning to set another small goal: put my exercise equipment away and eat a salad. And not think about anything else in the meantime.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, but this is helping me stay alive for the next few hrs. Setting really small goals.

John you're still a young man. You can still accomplish anything you want to if you start looking forward and not backwards.

You are suffering from depression which is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. The appropriate medication can bring the imbalance into balance. You need to see a doctor, John. What you have is treatable... ..chi

I was still young enough then to be sympathetic. But now, at this age, still being broken, I am merely an object of pity.

At least wait until you're 30+... that's when people really start to pity you.

I think i can relate. I am a few years younger than you and I feel like I am starting down that narrow path that will leave me in your shoes in a few years. I feel that so much of my time has been wasted that it is not even worth starting to improve my situation. Though part of me really wants to just die and have it all end, I am at least going to wait it out a while longer, you should too, no need to rush death....maybe the world will end on Dec 21, 2012. Let's both at least wait to see if it does and then reevaluate the situation.