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Thread: How soon is too soon to move in with a boyfriend/girlfriend?

  1. #1
    ForeverFree81
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    How soon is too soon to move in with a boyfriend/girlfriend?

    I have been with my boyfriend about 4 months, and depending on how things are going with us, I am considering moving to his town in the middle of next year, which is about an hour and a half from where I live now. If I move to him when I plan to, in the middle of next year, we will have been together approx a year. I was just wondering what your thoughts were regarding how soon is too soon to move in with someone, and what feelings do you get when considering it. It seems like a good idea to me, and I am excited and happy about the prospect of moving in with my boyfriend, but I just wanna hear from other people, about their experiences and how did they "know" they were doing the right thing. I myself have my own horror story after moving in with an ex, so I know it can go wrong, but I just want to know about other peoples experiences, and how they made the transition easier and better for both involved.

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    becomingkate
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    It seems like a good idea to me, and I am excited and happy about the prospect of moving in with my boyfriend, but I just wanna hear from other people, about their experiences and how did they "know" they were doing the right thing.
    Prior to moving in with someone, I had to consider my child, so whether that person was capable of living our lifestyle was key. Also, I had to feel comfortable about their alcohol use and the ability to financial contribute.

    Congrats and good luck!

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    newlife24
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    We moved in together after about a year. But I would say that we were spending every night together since the beginning. 2 or 3 months into our relationship, I would spend the night because he lived 30 minutes away and I lived with my grandpa at the time. I guess it's just up to how you feel about that person. We spent every minute together and I thought I knew his habits pretty well. But moving in together changes alot of stuff. You get comfortable so you have to make sure that you guys have similar views on how day to day living. Financial stuff also comes into play. My issues for our breakup recently was the drinking and the video games. So just be very aware of who the person is that you love and whether or not you can really deal with his issues.

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    Crazyaboutdogs
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    You have already had a bad experience moving in with someone..so why the rush to do it again. I see the way people have serial live-in relationships and then pat themselves on the back for never having been divorced..but it is still the same kind of thing..moving all your stuff in..moving all your stuff out plus the fights over money and household items...wash, rinse, repeat with the next live-in..and the next live-in and the next live-in.......until by the time a person hits their mid-thirties they may have lived with 4 or 5 different partners (and still pat themselves on the back for never having been divorced). Why can't you move to his town and get your own place?

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    Loveandlost
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    first live in gf moved in after 8 months and that was a bad mistake in hindsight (honeymoon phase ending right when moving in...)

    second live in gf moved in after 8 months because i knocked her up...(yay alcohol!!!) that didnt work out either after the kid turned 1.

    third almost live in gf dated for 5 years (she was in college) was planning on moving in, and she decided to join a cult in the midwest (dodged a bullet there!)

    I am not living with anymore GF's until the next time im engaged.

    I dont see the rush in moving in anymore, it made sense to me when I was young and stupid (it was basically playing grown up/playing house) and it was probably a good learning experience but I have no problem living on my own and having your own space to go back home to is great!

  6. #6
    and so it goes
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    The middle of next year? So that is June 2013. You are banking on a 4 month old relationship being around in 9 months time. Hey, maybe you will still be together, but maybe not.
    Don't plan so far ahead when it comes to new relationships.

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    JA0371
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    I only lived with ONE bf when I was 19...for three years.it was his house, and every time we had a fight he threatened to kick me out. That got old FaST, so never again!!!!

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    itsallgrand
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    For me, basically moving in is moving in to a common law marriage situation. Of course it takes time for this but that is how I think about it. So the thoughts that go into moving in, are the things I'd consider prior to marriage. It's a lot of the same thought process - though not as "final" as marriage, I suppose. There is more room for flexibility and keeping things individual legally.

    But close to the same level of seriousness and consideration. Not for new relationships. For relationships that have already stood some test of time and we are looking at sharing a life together in some real capacity.

  9. #9
    sb12
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    I wouldn't suggest moving in together unless the two of you have already had serious talks about either getting married or being life-partners. I moved in with a former girlfriend after 4 months and it ended horribly.

    You gotta look out for yourself, and since you've already been burned before why are you rushing into this again with the "hopes" that everything will still be sound after approximately a year of dating? If I were you, I would stay where you are right now and think about moving in again after a year or so. 4 months is way too early -- you're still in the honeymoon phase.

  10. #10
    gluestick
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    Quote Originally Posted by and so it goes [Register to see the link]
    The middle of next year? So that is June 2013. You are banking on a 4 month old relationship being around in 9 months time. Hey, maybe you will still be together, but maybe not.
    Don't plan so far ahead when it comes to new relationships.
    Agreed. The goes with long term relationships...you never what's going to happen in the future.

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