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Thread: How can my boyfriend never want sex???

  1. #1
    Cluedo
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    How can my boyfriend never want sex???

    This is just crazy to me! he honestly never wants to have sex. Its probably been over a month since we had sexual intercourse and just for the sake of trying to keep our relationship alive somehow, I go down on him whenever he will let me lol.
    We did meet over the internet about 4 years ago and we now finally live together, during our time on the internet he would talk about sex constantly!! and he was quite kinky too.
    He was very into me when we first saw each other and couldnt keep his hands off me but now I could walk around naked and he probably wouldn't even notice. It's not like I'm some horribly grotesque woman and I get guys hitting on me quite a bit....I'm just at a loss why he is like this.

    I don't want to be resentful towards him because he does a lot for me mainly financially and we do get along amazingly well, like best friends. He is also pretty romantic and likes to hold hands and cuddle.

    Can anyone offer some advice? it starts to upset me when I think he doesn't want to touch me

  2. #2
    MW2012
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    ASK HIM!

    I'm not a mind reader but I would guess he is no longer attracted to you. Sorry. The relationship might be over.

    BUT YOU HAVE TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT!!!

  3. #3
    happyfrank
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    What does he like to do at home?

  4. #4
    becomingkate
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    This is just crazy to me! he honestly never wants to have sex. Its probably been over a month since we had sexual intercourse and just for the sake of trying to keep our relationship alive somehow, I go down on him whenever he will let me lol.
    Maybe's he's lazy and never initiates because he knows if he waits long enough, he'll get oral. Although I can see how you're getting the short end of this deal; I'd probably make sure he didn't finish and ask for a quickie, lol.

    Is his libido naturally lower than yours?

  5. #5
    Cluedo
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    I would say I have an average libido, I don't want sex every day...just once a week would be fine. I don't even want it that much for the pleasure, I just like the intimacy and it makes me feel closer to him...you know? like a boyfriend and girlfriend should be.

  6. #6
    DN

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    He is one of those people who wants a relationship but isn't really into sex (except in his case, fantasy internet sex)

    So he stages a 'bait and switch' in which he pulls you into the relationship and then, once he feels secure, reverts to his normal self.

  7. #7
    CeeLambrini
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    Ugh I've had this, it's awful for the self confidence isn't it? Unfortunately I never solved it with my experience really. I'd say talk to him - but who knows what's really going on in his mind? A whole month seems a little excessive to hold off on. No more oral! You deserve some pleasure too! Having no sex is one thing, but giving and not receiving is even worse!

  8. #8
    Skrylzz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cluedo [Register to see the link]
    I would say I have an average libido, I don't want sex every day...just once a week would be fine. I don't even want it that much for the pleasure, I just like the intimacy and it makes me feel closer to him...you know? like a boyfriend and girlfriend should be.
    Honestly, if that's your attitude about sex, and he is really into it, he is probably very bored or frustrated that he doesn't feel you are contributing to the sexual relationship. A guy wants his partner to initiate, come up with new things to do, make an effort to experiment and find out what he likes, etc. If the women is just simply "available" for whenever he'd like to have sex, especially if sex is very important to the guy, he can easily completely lose interest.

  9. #9
    happyfrank
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    Go on dates and be extra flirty.

    Just being home is boring.

  10. #10
    DieTeufelKatze
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skrylzz [Register to see the link]
    Honestly, if that's your attitude about sex, and he is really into it, he is probably very bored or frustrated that he doesn't feel you are contributing to the sexual relationship. A guy wants his partner to initiate, come up with new things to do, make an effort to experiment and find out what he likes, etc. If the women is just simply "available" for whenever he'd like to have sex, especially if sex is very important to the guy, he can easily completely lose interest.
    What a crock that is... she's giving him oral, what about that is not initiating anything? SHE can't be the ONLY one initiating, HE has a role here too. Traditionally, it's the man who initiates anyway.

    I have the same attitude about sex and it doesn't seem to be a major issue with my husband and I. I know he'd prefer I initiate more but he's never given me the type of attitude the OP is describing. And I don't see how a woman making herself available for sex would make a man "easily completely lose interest", how is that so??

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