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Thread: When a woman touches you on the shoulder...

  1. #1
    Platinum Member Generation's Avatar
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    Jul 2011

    When a woman touches you on the shoulder...

    I've been googling this topic and I've been reading mixed thoughts, from men and from women, so I thought hey why not just make my own thread and hear some more thoughts.

    What does it mean when a woman touches you a man on the shoulder? Is it just a friendly gesture or something more? Would you touch any of your guy friends on the shoulders or only the ones you may be interested in or attracted to?

    While I'm on the subject, what about when a woman squeezes your arm (bicep) nonchalantly?

  2. #2
    Bronze Member
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    Jan 2011
    NY, NY
    Depends! When I was younger (late teens to mid 20s) I was pretty reserved and would only touch guys on the arm or bicep or whatever if I was interested in them romantically. I was stiff as a board with guys I didn't want to give the "wrong impression" to. As I got older and more comfortable in my skin, I would pretty much touch guys on the arm just to develop a connection, whether romantic or otherwise. It's no fun talking to someone without a bit of a connection after all. Heck I even touch girls on the arm for the same reason!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Depends on the person. I'm very tactile and tend to touch anyone who looks as though they won't feel I'm invading their personal space. Yes, I'm interested in them as people but it doesn't necessarily mean anything more than that.

    With someone who's more reserved, it would be far more significant if THEY touched you - so there are no hard and fast rules here!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
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    Oct 2011
    Bay Area, CA
    Means nothing, just a touch on the arm. Here in the US, and in most places, it would just be considered part of having a casual conversation.

  5. #5
    Miss Firecracker
    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    I would never touch a man on the shoulder unless I wanted his body. Just depends on the individual though. Many people are all touchy with everyone.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Any touch like that is an invitation to further closeness. Some people are more reserved than others, and some people are more flirty than others (without it meaning anything)...

    but it's a green light to further interaction.

    Personally? Squeezing a bicep to me is some serious blatant flirting. A touch on the shoulder? Can be anything from a casual "hi" to something more. It's in the overall body language.

    I wouldn't touch someone on the shoulder if I didn't want to at least talk to them.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    I am moderately touchy.

    A touch on the arm is pretty meaningless. It is kinda like I am listening or I emphasis. I wouldn't touch you, unless I like you on some level, but that doesn't have to be romantic.

    Blatant flirting for me? Long touch anywhere on the arm (think like 3 seconds), forearm stroke, and the big guns: a knee touch or stroke!

    Bicep or arm squeeze? This one is totally mixed for me. A few parts flirting, a few parts trying to get your attention.

    Generally speaking, more touches or longer touches are a good sign of attraction.

  8. #8
    Silver Member
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    Jul 2012
    I'm very touchy and for me, a touch on the shoulder would more of a friendly gesture. It all depends on the way it's done though. If its a long touch , well, it's more of a flirting gesture.
    Bicep or arm.. Any touch on these would be considered as a definite romantic touch.
    I even touch my girlfriends on the shoulder..

  9. #9
    Ms Darcy
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
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    Jan 2009
    United States
    I agree it depends on the person.

    A touch on the arm can be flirty or it can be harmless. A bicep squeeze is probably flirting though!

  10. #10
    Member Nick7lno's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    It depends on their eyes, if they touch you on the arm and shoulders and there’s something in there yes, then it could mean something else. If they have this certain look in their eyes. I do it, I’m pretty comfortable with touching people on the arms or shoulders, so it doesn't really mean anything, unless they or I have something else in our eyes. Which I don't unless it’s with my girlfriend.
    Hmm, it could be flirty, again it depends. If you needed comfort or you were upset and she squeezed your bicep then it is more of a reassuring thing, but other than that I'd say it was a flirt.


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