"We're neither friends nor lovers." Huh?

My ex (the dumper) are broken up for almost a year now. We've been in LC and NC alternately. Recently, we got into a text conversation, and she says, "We're neither friends nor lovers." What? And yet she treats me like a stranger since the break up.

Have you guys experienced this or heard this line before? What did you do?

To me, if I heard that, I would interpret it as her saying that she does not want you in her life... I would assume that she wants to not remain in contact or have any communication with you..

Sorry.

Well - I think it means exactly what she said.

We're neither friends - well, you aren't friends. You are an ex-boyfriend. That is a different relationship than a friend.

nor lovers - well, you aren't lovers. You are former lovers.

So... I mean... it depends on the context of the conversation... but she's basically saying that you are not friends (which you aren't) and you aren't lovers (which you aren't) - you are something else.

She's saying she thinks of you as an ex-boyfriend, not a friend.

Recently, we got into a text conversation, and she says, "We're neither friends nor lovers." What? And yet she treats me like a stranger since the break up.

To me, if I heard that, I would interpret it as her saying that she does not want you in her life... I would assume that she wants to not remain in contact or have any communication with you..

 

Sorry.

i agree with this, it sounds like she doesn't want you in her life which is why she treats you like a stranger as well....

It's threads like these that make me really wish I had all this internet stuff to help when I was your age. I had to learn by mistake after mistake ..after mistake, and from the mistakes of others. I really hope you are trying to learn , as this place is a huge resource of knowledge and help.

I am howver going to be a little more blunt than usual because 1 year after the BU and you're still asking what is going on ? why is she saying this , means you haven't been learning or your confusion is down to inexperience, which I totaly get. All contact, while you are still connected ( even invisibly ..through feelings ) will create confusion. You seem to have made the classic mistake of thinking you can be friends while you still have feelings.

Your posts remind me of Tomato's posts ( I am sure others posters remember him) , and I guess he was a similar age and we hate to watch the inexperienced suffer as we did. So use the resources, apply the advice that resonates with you , life is a constant learning experience. We cannot mind read... and that is what your posts always seem to come back to.... what is she thinking or feeling

I really think you have to have absolutely NC if you want to heal... and I totaly understand your pain, have been there at your age, and am in pain now. PM me if you need a plan to enable you to move on , I am happy to help

This post is very telling.....