tonight is the night

I just got done typing up a goodbye letter for my wife. If my son has questions about his father when he is older then perhaps she can use it to provide some insight.

I just can't take this pain anymore. I can't hold a job down, can't provide a decent living for my family, I often let my moods get the best of me. My wife deserves a better man, and my 11 month old son a better father.

I've used these boards to get all kinds of advice for like ten years now. For the most part they have been helpful. I'm just using what time I have to say my goodbyes.

Thanks for everything, and goodbye, enotalone.

Don't do it - you want suicide to haunt your son for the rest of his life. There is help! I'm living proof and if u wanna i'll take to you in private maybe on facebook or something. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You think you're doing whats best? How many young boys to you know have that have had a good life due to their fathers committing suicide? x

I don't know you, I don't know your wife and child, but I do know this of everyone. We are ALL in this together, this life, this world... that is why I, a total stranger, am sitting here writing to you in hopes you check the thread. We're all going through horrible times in our lives, setting goals for ourselves that sometimes take more time to achieve then we realise. But most of all, we fail to recognize all the things we have accomplished. It sounds like you have a beautiful family, YOU made that happen. And I'm positive you're a wonderful husband and father, being a provider is just another part of life that, guess what, is MUCH EASIER to work out than being a great individual. Your wife and son don't need a goodbye letter from you, they need YOU!

Please pm me if you feel inclined.

Dear God, I hope you don't follow through. Your son will never recover from your suicide. Never. Nor will your spouse. They will always blame themselves, wonder if they should have done more. Please, PLEASE get help. There is hope, and you have people who love you. Choose to live for your family - they will appreciate that far more than your death. You may think that you are leaving them better off, but you're not. You're not.

If you can't live for yourself then live for your wife and child. There is no way in hell you can honestly believe killing yourself will make your family better off. A child growing up without his father? A woman you swore to protect becoming a widow and an only parent? You said you have trouble holding down a job... how will their quality of life be if you suddenly rip yourself out of their lives? There are going to be real, harsh consequences for the people you care about if you give up. Happiness is something you must pursue, sometimes it takes months, sometimes years, but giving up will make it harder for those you care about to find theirs'.

Please don't do it! I don't know you and you don't know me so I really don't know what to say other than your life is really important in this world. You need to be there for your wife and son. It may not seems like it right now, but they will be hurt desperately if you go through with it. So please don't. You're family needs you.

It's ultimately your choice, and none of us on this forum can reach through our computer screens and stop you. However, if you read this, I want you to know that what you are planning to do is cowardly and completely immoral. You have a wife and son who love you, and what you are doing will only bring suffering for them both. You do not live in a vacuum, and your actions affect other people, especially in your case with a wife and son. I've dealt with attempted suicide in the family, and believe me when I say you will put your family and loved ones through hell.

You say you can't make a decent living and support your family. Killing yourself makes this problem infinitely worse. What will your family do when you are gone? You act as if this "better man" you mention will simply appear the moment you kill yourself to take care of your family. NO. That is your job.

Suicide is just a way for your to avoid facing your problems, and it's incredibly selfish. Seek professional help, get a job, and get your life together. Your family deserves better.

I am a daughter of a suicide victim and from my point of view (sorry if its harsh) is that suicide is a perminate solution to a temporary problem. I forgive my father for what he did but I will never forget that he left me. Dads are superman, protectors, healers, and teddybears. His letter to me ment jack left no answers, and the excuses were bull. This quick decision can scar your child for life. I would rather have my father here being not perfect than not at all.