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Boyfriend looking at naked pictures of celebrities


xxdaisyxx

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For some reason I feel, or perhaps I know the vast majority of people (Men AND woman) will disagree with me. I am not sure why, but I would like everyone's opinion.

 

I recently found out my boyfriend has been googling naked pictures of celebrities and models a whole lot. It really makes me feel bad. It gives me this horrible feeling like I am not good enough for him. He tells everyday how beautiful I am and how he loves me and my body. We have a really good sex life. He has SO many nude pictures of me. So WHY does he (and most guys) have the need to look at other naked woman? Why can't looking at your girlfriend that you love be enough?

 

I'm not a prude. I don't expect him to close his eyes when a beautiful woman walks by, or if there is a love scene in a movie. I understand woman's bodies are beautiful. I just think to look up naked woman on an almost daily basis is so very disrespectful to me. We are in a committed relationship.

 

I hear a lot that guys are visual and they like variety. If this is the case, then why be in a monogamous relationship? I just don't get it?

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I did tell him, and he lied. He said his friends were using the computer. Which is not true. It is a constant thing that was in the history. It shouldn't matter if they are female friends, strangers, or celebrities. He is still going out of his way to search for other naked woman to gawk at, when he has someone at home that he thinks is beautiful.

 

Why can't that be enough??

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I don't think it's a problem, but I do think it's a problm if it's becoming a bit of an obsession for him, as in he's downloading them every day or spending long periods of time on it.

 

I can tell you though, that the more you let it bother you and the more you nag him about it the more he will probably do it and try to hide it.

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If you never found any of it in your computer's history you would never have known.

 

Just because he's looking at pictures of naked women doesn't mean he doesn't think you're attractive or beautiful....And i very much doubt it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you either.

 

Men love to look....that's just the way they are....If his looking doesn't affect the way he loves you...why are you stressing?

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I don't think it's a problem, but I do think it's a problm if it's becoming a bit of an obsession for him, as in he's downloading them every day or spending long periods of time on it.

 

I can tell you though, that the more you let it bother you and the more you nag him about it the more he will probably do it and try to hide it.

 

So you are telling me that if something he does hurts me so much and makes me feel disrespected, he will do it more if I confront him? That is not how relationships work. He should not want to hurt me and stop doing it if he loves me

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If you never found any of it in your computer's history you would never have known.

 

Just because he's looking at pictures of naked women doesn't mean he doesn't think you're attractive or beautiful....And i very much doubt it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you either.

 

Men love to look....that's just the way they are....If his looking doesn't affect the way he loves you...why are you stressing?

 

it is one thing to glance at a hot girl walking by.. But when he has so many pictures of me, why does he need to look up all of the other woman naked? It doesn't make sense. If it were a once in a blue moon thing, I don't think I would care so much. I wouldn't say it's an obsession either. I just don't think it is something you should do when you are with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I think in a way it's a form of cheating. He is lusting over other woman.

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So you are telling me that if something he does hurts me so much and makes me feel disrespected, he will do it more if I confront him? That is not how relationships work. He should not want to hurt me and stop doing it if he loves me

 

No, not to hurt you. I believe that if something is off limits and they feel they are not allowed to do it, this makes them do it even more. It's kinda like constantly accusing someone of cheating, eventually they will be pushed towards it, not all but some. Hope that makes some sense.

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it is one thing to glance at a hot girl walking by.. But when he has so many pictures of me, why does he need to look up all of the other woman naked? It doesn't make sense. If it were a once in a blue moon thing, I don't think I would care so much. I wouldn't say it's an obsession either. I just don't think it is something you should do when you are with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I think in a way it's a form of cheating. He is lusting over other woman.

 

I would sit him down and tell him how much this bothers you.

 

It's going to be very difficult for you to find a man that doesn't like to look at pictures of naked women....The cold harsh truth....

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Maybe I`m a prude too, but I hate men looking at pornography and nude photos. There shouldn`t be any need for it, whether or not they are `visual creatures`. Bottom line - his looking at them makes you feel disrespected and feeds negative self-esteem. I`m not sure whether the bigger issue here is whether he looks at the photos, or that he lied about it. If it were me, the lying would be almost as much, if not a bigger issue. Regardless, when you are in a committed relationship, you need to respect each others`comfort boundaries, and he is completely disrespecting yours. In my opinion, you have tried to meet him half way by providing him with your own nude photos.

 

You`re going to have to have a serious talk with him about this. If not, the issue will just fester and further damage your relationship.

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Lying about it is definitely the worst of the two. But truthfully, I don't see any problem with nude pictures or pornography, and it's not just men who use it, a lot of women do too.

 

I think this is definitely a self esteem issue and something that you need to work on. I am 80% sure that you could have a big talk about this, finally get him to agree/promise that he will stop, but he will continue to do so, he will just learn to hide it better. You will eventually discover that he has been "looking" again and it will be a vicious cycle which will probably contribute to the demise of the relationship.

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I feel men and women are very different, your bf loves you and doesmt want to hurt you thats why he lied, he is looking at pictures as a way to make himself feel more aroused, it is not that he is thinking about anyone else it is just an inbuilt response for some men. Although you feel hurt and I understand that you need to tell him it upsets you and if he wont listen or chamge his habit you will need to think of the next step, this is not a love issue this is just a man being a little insensitive.

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Ugh, I look up naked pictures of celebrities too (or half-naked). I just see it as insecurity on your part. That may not be fair, but I would but that's how your bf would see it too.

 

Is this worth ending your relationship over? Because if it isn't, then you are going to have to learn ways to get over it. If it is a boundary you cannot get over, then I suggest ending it.

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Let me just say, I am a man and I feel no need to look at naked pictures of women constantly. I don't watch porn either (although I used to when I was a teenager). My girlfriend is everything I need, and I love her for who she is. Sure, women's bodies are generally beautiful and pleasing to the eye, but so are cars. And some men treat women like cars, as just objects. Something good to look at, fantasize about, and that's about it. I don't want to put your boyfriend in this category, but it sure looks like he is walking a thin line...

 

He should respect your position, in the fact that it bothers you. I know if my girlfriend was constantly looking up pictures of naked men, I would definitely be asking why. And yes, it would make me feel as if I'm not good enough. But luckily I have a girlfriend who thinks similarly to me, and you as well. How about you ask your boyfriend how he would feel if every day he came home and saw you looking up naked men. Or better yet, you hid it from him, and when he ask, you lied about it (as he did). It's disrespectful and dishonest of him. Trust is another issue here, and although this white lie may be small, it makes me wonder what else he has or is willing to lie about, just to not hurt your feelings.

 

Do not care what the "majority" says on this issue. If this makes you uncomfortable, your boyfriend needs to help resolve it. If he wants to continue to look up these pictures, he needs to have good reason to (which there really isn't one). But you can't even get that far because he lies about it.

 

I'm not worried as much about the naked women obsession as I am about the lying. You deserve better than that...

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Ugh, I look up naked pictures of celebrities too (or half-naked). I just see it as insecurity on your part. That may not be fair, but I would but that's how your bf would see it too.

 

Is this worth ending your relationship over? Because if it isn't, then you are going to have to learn ways to get over it. If it is a boundary you cannot get over, then I suggest ending it.

 

I don't want to clutter the OP's thread, but may I ask why you look up naked pictures of celebrities? And you didn't specify whether they are male or female, and also if you have a b/f or not. Usually people who look up "nice bodies", are people who thrive to look more like that, or be with someone who looks more like that. And if you are constantly doing that with someone who doesn't look like that, it's sort of a slap in the face, IMO.

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I don't want to clutter the OP's thread, but may I ask why you look up naked pictures of celebrities? And you didn't specify whether they are male or female, and also if you have a b/f or not. Usually people who look up "nice bodies", are people who thrive to look more like that, or be with someone who looks more like that. And if you are constantly doing that with someone who doesn't look like that, it's sort of a slap in the face, IMO.

 

You certainly may ask, but I'll only partially answer. I do because I want to ... no more, no less. My partner has no problem with it, as he occasionally looks at porn and sees no difference. I don't see him looking at porn as a slap in the face and conversely he doesn't view anything I do as an insult.

 

I can say all day long there is no issue with what he's doing and you can say all day long that there is. Ultimately, it doesn't matter. What matters is that if they cannot reach a compromise (he stops or she gets over it) they aren't compatible.

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You certainly may ask, but I'll only partially answer. I do because I want to ... no more, no less. My partner has no problem with it, as he occasionally looks at porn and sees no difference. I don't see him looking at porn as a slap in the face and conversely he doesn't view anything I do as an insult.

 

I can say all day long there is no issue with what he's doing and you can say all day long that there is. Ultimately, it doesn't matter. What matters is that if they cannot reach a compromise (he stops or she gets over it) they aren't compatible.

 

Saying "because I want to" doesn't really answer the question. There's always an answer behind the 'wants' that people hold. Why do you want to? Entertainment? Fantasy? Envy? And the same with your partner, why does he look at porn? Does he masturbate to it? What if he finds that masturbating to porn is more pleasurable than having sex, would it still be ok then? And even if it's not at that point, don't you think it's possible that it can get there?

 

I agree in your point of, regardless of the positions we hold, it's up to the OP to find someone who is compatible with her.

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He should not want to hurt me and stop doing it if he loves me

 

Your partner should not stop doing anything simply because it hurts you. Each situation is different. If I tried to get my boyfriend to stop doing things simply because I felt hurt, that wouldn't be very fair. He may not be trying to hurt me, or it might be my own insecurities that are making me feel hurt.

 

I see no problem with looking at celebrities or anyone else naked, for that matter. It's just a picture. Maybe you would feel better if you stopped checking the history.

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My feelings exactly....but peeps are different i guess.

 

At what point does it become a problem? Or does it never become one? If he had pictures at every turn and corner. If he had them at his desk at work. On his background on every PC. That instead of a picture of you in his car's dash, he had a picture of a random model or celebrity. I just do not see the purpose in this obsession over celebrities, besides something like lust or envy.

 

Maybe I am naive. Someone explain?

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At what point does it become a problem? Or does it never become one? If he had pictures at every turn and corner. If he had them at his desk at work. On his background on every PC. That instead of a picture of you in his car's dash, he had a picture of a random model or celebrity. I just do not see the purpose in this obsession over celebrities, besides something like lust or envy.

 

Maybe I am naive. Someone explain?

 

This is just my humble opinion...

 

You're never going to have a 100% completely perfect relationship. There will always be that ONE thing that irks you about your partner.

 

 

His looking.......Does it make him love her any less? Does he respect her any less? Does he stay there gawking at them 24/7 which is in turn is causing him to flush his career/education/personal time with her down the drain? Has he stopped wanting to be intimate with her as a result of his looking? Does he tell her that he wishes that she looked like them? Does he compare her to them? Is the relationship otherwise fine aside from the looking?

 

The women he's looking at are celebrities....Ladies he will never have. Her man is in fantasy land.... and believe it or not people have fantasies...If he's not trying to make that fantasy a reality....let it go.

 

Relationships are not perfect....there will ALWAYS be something that you don't like about your partner and there will always be something that they don't like about YOU!

 

But you've got to weigh your relationship...Does the good outweigh the bad by a long shot? If so...GIVE IT A REST.

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Argh, I feel like I'm pulling teeth here, haha. What incentive must I initiate for any one of you to answer my question? Many people on this thread have defended the act of looking at celebrities naked/half-naked, but have not explained why they do it. Besides saying "because I want to."

 

Respect/love/career/personal, are never an issue here, but it is possible for men to gawk. And you don't think men keep mental images of women they have looked at earlier in the day? No man would ever admit to it, nor would he be inclined to tell you. Men will never say "I wish you looked like her", EVER, even if they thought it. I love my girlfriend and I think she has one of the best bodies I have ever seen. Am I aware that there is a girl out there with a body that may be more attractive? Yes. Is she aware of that? Yes. Would I ever bring it up? No. And in regards to you saying "does he compare her to them", OF COURSE. Every man does. And this is what leads them down the dangerous path, if they aren't careful...

 

And regardless of if he isn't making that fantasy a reality, he is most likely just "settling". Which is a horrible thing to say, I know. But for someone that constantly wants to look at naked celebrities, it's not a 'far off' conclusion.

 

So back to my original question, that I hope someone will answer. Why do you feel the need/want to lookup celebrities constantly, whether they are naked or half-naked.

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