Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: how do you know when he's not into you anymore

  1. #1
    Member starlette08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008

    how do you know when he's not into you anymore

    I have been talking to this guy since Feb 2012. We met at a mutual friends party, hit it off, and started talking everything. At that time, I just broke up with my ex, so I was taking things really slowly, not wanting to get into a relationship. He was the one chasing me (initiating the texts, asking me how my day was, what i ate today) etc, so I grew to like him a lot more. He lives about 1.5h away, but comes to my city often because his friends live here.

    We continued to talk up until June 2012 when he started becoming more distant. Even though we still texted everyday, he just didn't seem that into it anymore. He would text me "night night" with a hug/kiss emoticon each night. At one occasion I joked and mentioned that he had been kind of M.I.A lately, and that he must have a new love interest, and he responded with "ive just been really busy with the boys, trying to make the most of summer, thats all"

    This Monday, he msged me in the morning saying "i'm heading up your way today " and suggested that we try to meet up, even though he wasnt sure when he would be free because he had to do a bunch of stuff with friends. He ended up msging me at 11pm saying he couldnt get together anymore because he just finished at the gym with his best bud and had a long drive to go.

    i know he's been super busy with work lately, but im still getting the feeling that he has lost interest. I mean, if hes not interested, why bother making an attempt to get together this week, then bail? I feel like he's giving me mixed signals. I just dont know if he's sincerely busy this time of year or if hes just stringing me along.

    At this point, I know I need to drop the effort put into this. There are other guys who want to get to know me, and Im having a hard time moving on (i know, i got attached ).

    I invited him to my housewarming party next month and he is planning on coming.

    Should I just not text him anymore, play it cool and see what happens? Or should I have the - "hey i feel like you have been distant lately.. im going to take the hint that you're not really interested anymore, and move on..." talk.

    i want to start seeing other guys, but am still hung up on this guy, i dont know what to do!

  2. #2
    Ms Darcy
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    United States
    First, understand that he lost interest. You have been "talking" for 5 months? That's less than nothing.

    Nothing is holding you back from moving on except your mindset. Make your priority finding someone who is interested in you and then do that.

  3. #3
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    You were operating at a speed that was too slow for him and he lost interest.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Generation's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Quote Originally Posted by True Crime [Register to see the link]
    You were operating at a speed that was too slow for him and he lost interest.
    Yeah, probably.

    I'm just wondering why you two aren't actually dating. I mean I know you said you just got out of a relationship like ~6 months ago but is that really all? I just don't get the feeling you're reciprocating to his advances. Maybe his intentions weren't clear enough, but at the same time, I think he was being cautious to the fact that you might not be over ex so he was waiting for you to be ready and seal the deal for it rather than put you in an uncomfortable position. I'm just speculating right now.

  5. #5
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Sorry can't read a post this long but just to answer the title of your thread: if you have a shade of doubt he's lost interest, he's certainly long gone. That's how it works with guys: if they like you, the writing is on the wall. Soon as you have reasons to doubt, your answers right there.

  6. #6
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Quote Originally Posted by Elsewhere [Register to see the link]
    Sorry can't read a post this long.
    This is short compared to some! Lol.

    To the op, i agree with generation. How have you been talking for this long and not got any further than just talking? Have you been on a date yet?

  7. #7
    Heather Dawn
    Platinum Member Heather Dawn's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Boxborough, MA
    To be honest, he probably lost interest because after all these months, you haven't even been on a date yet. "Talking" to a person you're somewhat interested in only goes so far if it doesn't progress at all.

  8. #8
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    How much did you reciprocate? I think it's still viable. You can reignite interest at your housewarming party. Don't chase him or accuse him of MIA/abandonment, just let him know of your interest and see if you can have a 1-on-1 date.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Do not initiate any contacts, if he contacts you asking you to hang out then you know he's still interested. After not contacting him and you never heard from him anymore then you got your answer.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    I think he probably started talking to other people because you were too hesitant/moving too slowly. Not that there's anything wrong with that, since you just got out of a relationship it's probably best to play it safe, but I don't think that's what HE wanted. If he does come to the party, you can try upping the flirting a notch there and see what happens. But don't put yourself out of your comfort zone just to get him re-interested. If he's worth it he'll move at your pace.


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
I've screwed up big time. (insulting a girl and her knowing im inexperienced)
I'm in college. I've really ed up. I met a girl at a bar. She's for sure more on the promiscuous side. We've gone out to dinner. We went back to her
My new boyfriend has a close attractive female friend
I started dating this guy about 6 weeks ago. We usually see each other 2-3 times a week and he calls me on the phone every night. He seems super into
Help! Having THAT conversation with someone...are we friends or more?
Okay, so me and this guy have been casually dating since June. We never talked about getting serious but have kept in pretty constant contact since
Is he overreacting??
My boyfriend bought my daughter a mini drone for her 10th birthday and gave it to her early. He surprised her with it, she got excited of course, and
How to tell her I want to explore my options
So I had that bad breakup almost 6 months ago. Been good lately, started dating. Met quite a few. But I have been getting close to serious with one
I got fed up that it wasnít going anywhere, did I do the right thing walking away?
I have a thread already but thought this deserved a seperate topic. Had two great dates with a girl. Before the first date we were communtating a
Dating is confusing
Hi everyone! I am new here. I enjoy reading the post and the warm responses from everyone. Such a great site I joined a dating site and a nice

Featured Threads
What eNotAlone gave you?
I wonder mostly about long-time members who decided to be a part of this community. Has this forum enriched your lives, and if so, in what
How to end things with him
Iíve been dating this guy for 2 months. In the beginning he was very sweet and romantic, however I learned in the last month or so that he is
My ex bf told me he wants sex, nudes and me to loan him money until he's stable... Should I lend $?
Hello.. I am 22 I met my ex bf (21) 3 years ago in college. He dropped out of college after the first semester.. he didn't go to finals. He stayed in
How Should I have handled it?
My GF and I were together for about 5 months. Things were great except for some of my questioning her online activity which challenged her. All
My Ex Husband still berates me
Hello, first off I am not sure why I am on a forum but.. I need an anonymous outlet I guess because my friends and family all say the same thing
Yall ready for a messed up one...
Okay, so i cheated on my bf about 6 month ms into our relationship with a guy 20 years older then me at our work. And it was a rule that it was only
Iím at a really bad state of mind right now
Itís been a little over the month since the breakup, since then, heís messaged me 2-3 times about random topics (that I donít care about), and has
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts