Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: how to deal with people who only think about themselves

  1. #1
    ciscogal

    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    2

    Question how to deal with people who only think about themselves

    I met a friend about 3 years ago, and even though we hit it off from the start, I was able to tell over time that she only thinks about herself.

    For instance, recently, I was named in a lawsuit that should have been sent to my ex husband, and when I told her about it, she didn't seem to care. All she spoke about was about a guy that she liked. It was as if I had not mentioned anything to her. In fact, after I was thankfully dismissed from the case by a judge, she didn't even ask me what the results were.


    Because of this, I decided to maintain my distance, because I noticed that she's of the type of person who loves to tell her stories and about her love adventures and everything regarding how much she hates her job, but doesn't really listen to anything anyone has to say.

    Yet, a few weeks ago, I bought tickets to go to her home country for a holiday, and I casually told her about it, but she got very upset with me and asked me when I was planning on telling her. She basically told me that she was hurt about my lackadaisical attitude in keeping her informed.

    I was surprised that she would even care about anything I had planned! I apologized for not informing her, but now looking back, I think that she was only upset at me because I was doing something that she wanted to do. I don't know how to explain it, but it's the way I feel, since she otherwise takes little interest in my personal life.


    So my questions are two: First, what makes a person care only about themselves, and how should I go about this friendship, if I can even call it that?

  2. #2
    Batya33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    41,318
    Thanked
    2068
    In answer to your first question many many reasons and I'm not sure the reason would help you feel better. I would continue to keep my distance -time is too precious to waste on mediocre, let alone bad "friendships".

  3. #3
    termus123
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    804
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    9
    There are over 6 billion people in the world, don't waste your time and effort on someone you clearly share different values to.

  4. #4
    blueidealist24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    4,122
    Thanked
    99
    I agree with the other two posters. Don't hang out with or talk to her as much. You can't change those people. Eventually something in their life might make them change on their own, but you can't change them.. they won't even be listening to you trying anyway!

  5. #5
    nutbrownhare
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    5,629
    Thanked
    472
    She sounds like someone who likes a life with a bit of drama, and you're one of the supporting characters; it doesn't really enter her head that you have a life which is separate to hers, and so your problems and affairs are of no interest to her. Now you've gone and booked a holiday - FOR YOURSELF! - and this is not at all how a supporting character should behave.

    With a bit of luck she'll be sulking at your inconsiderate behaviour in not organising your life around her, and you won't need to contact her again. How dare you not be there when she wants to talk to someone about her love adventures!

    I honestly wouldn't waste another second of your life on someone like this; there are plenty of people out there where you can have a friendship which will give back as much as you give to it!

  6.  

Top Threads
what should i do
I am 56 being in a relationship with my bf for 5 years. Its been up down up down all the time. First he cheated on me several times. Then over
My girlfriends sexual frustration is causing an uproar between us
Okay so my girlfriend has told me time after time how badly she needs me sexually and physically even though I told her we don't have time within our
My GF is not letting go
Ok long story short, I have been with my current GF for a year and a couple of months. We recently planned a trip abroad, that we have since gone on
Separation anxiety girl?
When we're together everything is great its real cool. We spend a lot of time with each other stay at each others place but then when we part ways
Need Advice for boyfriend
Well me and my boyfriend were hanging out and I started just out of no where going through my phone while he listened to music on his. I preceded to
Issue with Girlfriend's Ex BF: A multi-dimensional issue and at a standoff!
I'm looking for some guidance here and some external perspective from those who may have experienced this issue or have done research on it, or
I called my mother a B*tch
So my mother was going through my little brotherís phone and saw a text that I had sent to him last year calling her a . What had led to that text is

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Don Juan President
I'm the president of Don Juans. I know all the top moves to make with females and I've had sex so many times. If a man needs advice ask right here.
Talk Dirty to Me!
OMGosh this is rampant. I have been serial dating in hopes of finding a long term relationship. BTW, nn the past two weeks I have been doing really
Is it wrong that I don't drive my parent's car to drive myself places as of now?
I am 20 and I have my driver's license but I don't have my own car yet so I have to rely on my parents and the bus to get me places but my parents
Friendship changes, how to deal?
Hello All, My friend and I are close. We consider our friendship like a brother & sister type. Lately, I've been noticing he has been treating me
Online Dating Descripton Sets Off Red Flags For Me, But Maybe Not for Others?
I have someone who has been giving me attention with Online Dating (yes, I thought I'd give it a gentle go. Dip my toe in the water even though I was
Help
Hi, I'm 37 and I have been with my partner for about 5 years and we have been married just under a year. About 5 months ago my now wife had an
Did you ever get over your first love? Post your stories!
Hello, I've been feeling kind of down lately because I always hear people saying that you never get over your first love, or you'll always compare
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •