Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: how to deal with people who only think about themselves

  1. #1
    ciscogal

    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    2

    Question how to deal with people who only think about themselves

    I met a friend about 3 years ago, and even though we hit it off from the start, I was able to tell over time that she only thinks about herself.

    For instance, recently, I was named in a lawsuit that should have been sent to my ex husband, and when I told her about it, she didn't seem to care. All she spoke about was about a guy that she liked. It was as if I had not mentioned anything to her. In fact, after I was thankfully dismissed from the case by a judge, she didn't even ask me what the results were.


    Because of this, I decided to maintain my distance, because I noticed that she's of the type of person who loves to tell her stories and about her love adventures and everything regarding how much she hates her job, but doesn't really listen to anything anyone has to say.

    Yet, a few weeks ago, I bought tickets to go to her home country for a holiday, and I casually told her about it, but she got very upset with me and asked me when I was planning on telling her. She basically told me that she was hurt about my lackadaisical attitude in keeping her informed.

    I was surprised that she would even care about anything I had planned! I apologized for not informing her, but now looking back, I think that she was only upset at me because I was doing something that she wanted to do. I don't know how to explain it, but it's the way I feel, since she otherwise takes little interest in my personal life.


    So my questions are two: First, what makes a person care only about themselves, and how should I go about this friendship, if I can even call it that?

  2. #2
    Batya33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    42,843
    Thanked
    2931
    In answer to your first question many many reasons and I'm not sure the reason would help you feel better. I would continue to keep my distance -time is too precious to waste on mediocre, let alone bad "friendships".

  3. #3
    termus123
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    807
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    10
    There are over 6 billion people in the world, don't waste your time and effort on someone you clearly share different values to.

  4. #4
    blueidealist24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    4,122
    Thanked
    99
    I agree with the other two posters. Don't hang out with or talk to her as much. You can't change those people. Eventually something in their life might make them change on their own, but you can't change them.. they won't even be listening to you trying anyway!

  5. #5
    nutbrownhare
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    6,502
    Thanked
    1341
    She sounds like someone who likes a life with a bit of drama, and you're one of the supporting characters; it doesn't really enter her head that you have a life which is separate to hers, and so your problems and affairs are of no interest to her. Now you've gone and booked a holiday - FOR YOURSELF! - and this is not at all how a supporting character should behave.

    With a bit of luck she'll be sulking at your inconsiderate behaviour in not organising your life around her, and you won't need to contact her again. How dare you not be there when she wants to talk to someone about her love adventures!

    I honestly wouldn't waste another second of your life on someone like this; there are plenty of people out there where you can have a friendship which will give back as much as you give to it!

  6.  

Top Threads
Girlfriend planning to have gay friend sleep next to her in same bed
So my girlfriend is planning on having her friends over for a party in the next month or so and she does have limited sleeping space. Nothing about
Is it normal for a person to freak out out of nowhere?
Like, you´re talking to the person about something that slightly bothers you, but it's still a normal conversation, no one is yelling. Then all of
BF controlling what I post
This whole thing seems so silly, it's embarrassing to even write out, but I'm torn here... My boyfriend and I are both in our mid-20's. So, call it
Feelings disrespected
My bf and I have been together a little over a yr now and when ever I try to talk to him about an issue he tells me to, "shut the F up". He threatens
Is he joking or putting me down?
Need some advice! My BF of 7 months jokes around a lot and sometimes it feels like he's putting me down. He kept saying that I "swiped on him first"
Need Help Explaining Girlfriend's Behavior
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now and the past month of us dating has been fantastic. Every single day with each other has been
Miscommunication need advice
I recently posted a similar question as a reply in a different forum and got no responses, so I'll try over here. Long story short, I've been

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I didnt know this was cheating until i saw how much it hurt him
So my boyfriend and I have been together 8 months. It's been pretty close to perfect over all until last weekend. We trusted each other before this
Interview Vibes
Hello, eNA! I have posted a few times about my career search - thank you all for the help! I've been having a lot more luck lately and have four
Ex from seven years ago married
My ex from seven years got married in November 2016 he began dating this girl eight months after dumping me.hiw have I found this out? By the
❌Did i just get stood up????❌
A few weeks ago this guy and i started texting. It was a pretty instant interest right from the start, on both ends. He kept telling me how
HELP My boyfriend blocked me after an argument
Almost 3 weeks ago me and my (EX) boyfriend that ive been seeing for about a year had a huge explosive and petty fight over him being selfish/ self
My wife has zero trust in me
So we have been married for about 8 months now, everything was fine prior to marriage. From the day we got married to today, it has been a living
21, in a relationship and sexually frustrated
I'm 21 (female) and I'm dating a 28 year old. Ive had my round of men before him so I know exactly what I like during sex and he's PERFECT. But what
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •