Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14

Thread: Girls/guys that dont initiate contact but reply?

  1. #1
    agiledid
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    20

    Girls/guys that dont initiate contact but reply?

    Now im sure im not the only guy to have this, and im not talking about the girls that dont start texting, convos or IM and reply with bland "ok, yes, no, cya" answers or no answers(because we all know that means one things, im not interested!). Im talking about the ones where you sit scratching your head if she likes you or not. Im sure theres guys out there that dont start convos with girls aswell, so this can go for both sexes.

    Came to mind recently when talking to this girl and she never initiates ANYTHING but yet she replies? Always very talkative and interested in me, asking questions, flirty etc
    She takes awhile to reply few hours sometimes a day, doesnt bother me as im very similar with this, as im busy and tend to like to reply when I have time to sit and think about what im saying rather than a rushed response.
    I suppose it could be down to either her being shy, playing hard to get, dont want to be awkward or old fashion? The guy has to do the chasing and initiating?
    I was the one that made the first move with her to take it beyond a talk in a bar to dancing with her, from a dance to kissing, was the one to get her number and contact her first, and the one to organise a date/dates. Some of which she hasnt been able to make but always suggests another time or date or has a very valid reason with it.
    So from the word go ive been the one to make things happen, or take control.

    So I ask this question, girls or guys why dont you start the contact by text, call, IM etc are you shy, playing hard to get, dont want to embarrass yourself, worried you will look clingy??
    This is actually the first girl ive met like this, im used to girls that typically, they like you, they will start talking to you. Im just very persistent and when I see something I like its very hard for me to stop going after it.
    Dont some girls see that it may be a double edge to this, as some guys may just leave you as they think your un interested or is this a way to weed out those players haha

  2. #2
    Sportster2005
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    5,214
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2962
    Generally if a woman is interested she will initiate contact and be engaged. The level of engagement is usually directly proportional to interest. If she seems to be not interested, chances are she's not interested. Not rocket science. You are correct when you state when they like you they will talk to you. The opposite is true. If they don't like you they won't talk to you. If they are giving you little attention, their interest is little.

    If I'm pursuing a woman and she plays hard to get I can't tell the difference between that and her not being interested. And I don't have the time or inclination to play her game. Next.

    Just a thought. What you call persistence may be seen as needy and clingy.

  3. #3
    agiledid
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    20
    Agreed I always see it as both would have similar levels of interest and I can see what you mean by the needy and clingy. I dont text or call constantly Im very open with my contact and spaced but it can still been seen as that I suppose. It is very hard to tell a difference at times with women that play games I agree again.

    Only thing is this girl will be engaged in talking but wont engage the talk which makes it all the more odd, im used to seeing or expecting no contact or a very blank motion of contact that gives a good sign of "yeah, im not interested".
    Ive not really come accross girls that arent interested but will continue talking or keep a constant back and forth talk.

  4. #4
    EQ>IQ
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    30
    Posts
    1,587
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    My girlfriend in the beginning did not initiate contact much. So I played it really cool, and would not focus on it too much. Sometimes would get busy with other stuff, forget phone around the house etc. Take a while to reply as well, and overtime we built more and more steady communication. In the beginning texting/phone was mostly to arrange dates. She would always reply to text, but took a while, and didn't initiate much. I called her out on it once.. and she was like.. "well I always replied though!", as if that was all she needed to do to show interest.

    Now its 50/50. She has a very busy life, but always texts at least once-twice a day, and calls me every night before going to sleep, says she likes to hear my voice before falling asleep in bed.

    So I don't know man. I like it also when the girl takes interest in texting/contacting me, but everyone is different. I think to judge a girls interest nothing is better then personal contact. I never had doubts about her interest when we were in person.

  5. #5
    Day_Walker
    Platinum Member Day_Walker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    California
    Age
    35
    Posts
    7,329
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2
    With my female friends who do this, I have heard answers from they dont want to put themselves out there, want to play hard to get, or the guy should do all the work or they just didnt feel comfortable initiating conversations.

  6. #6
    confused1979
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    184
    Gender
    Male
    I'm in a similar situation. Women are so confusing lol I understand what you say about going after something you like. I think we need to just relax, not contact them for a bit, just slow everything down. Well I do anyway

  7. #7
    RitaTrue
    Platinum Member RitaTrue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    A Pineapple Under The Sea
    Posts
    1,815
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Day_Walker [Register to see the link]
    With my female friends who do this, I have heard answers from they dont want to put themselves out there, want to play hard to get, or the guy should do all the work or they just didnt feel comfortable initiating conversations.
    This. Girls who dont initiate usually have these reasons^

  8. #8
    renewing
    Bronze Member renewing's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    292
    I was thinking when I read this about the responses they give that maybe they just don't like IM! I really hate telephone calls, for instance. When I answer them I try to get off as soon as possible.. Maybe you should suggest just meeting in person and gauge her interest from there.

  9. #9
    malvy
    Member malvy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Age
    29
    Posts
    39
    Gender
    Male
    I am one of those persons you're talking about. Most of the times I don't initiate conversations because Im simply not really looking to meet anyone, but I usually reply with certain level of enthusiasm because Im also not really against it. I guess I just prefer to let it happen (meeting someone) isntead of trying to force it.

  10. #10
    agiledid
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    20
    Hey great responses I still text her, taking it slow as we got exams so there a far more important things to take care of right now, the last time I saw her I could tell she liked me and we had a great time. Its more its just odd how people can be sometimes with texting/calling. But I suppose some people there cards close to there chest.
    Friend told me she did it to see how interested the guy was or if they were ****s haha, but she said if she doesnt like the guy she wouldnt reply or just be very blunt with her response leaving nothing for them to reply to.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
What the hell happened ??
I meet this guy thru a mutual friend, i know him for over a year and hung out various times at his house always in a party type settings. We never
Giving a girl chocolate
This guy I've been talking to walked up to me and said "do you want this I've been trying to watch my weight?" It was chocolate that was pink and
When a feamle professor says, "I ame here if you need me."
Hi, My female professor emailed to say, "I'm here if you need me." I was wondering what she really meant. She is my dissertation Chair and mentor
Should I be worried about this? He hasn't texted.
I have a close male friend who I've recently admitted to having feelings for. He responded by telling me that he has feelings for me too, maybe "not
Awkward around certain girls
Is there any way to stop being awkward around some girls? I'm no longer in my teens but I still tend to be awkward when I'm around certain girls
Confused
Hi there, This might be long so please bare with me there are lots of examples here for my confusion. First I would like to start by saying that I
I love my girlfriend. She likes me.
I am a 17 year old male and I have been dating my current girlfriend for roughly eight months. It is the first real relationship either of us have

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Has anyone on here used face time after meeting someone online?
Met this lady on Craigslist and when I suggested we exchange numbers so we can set up a meeting she preferred face time. I have no interest in face
Does a cheater get a second chance..?
I posted earlier but everybody's just looking at all the negative stuff which I understand but my question is if you find out your significant other
Encouragement and Advice Needed Please
Hi, When I was younger I was very ambitious and optimistic about the future, I believed I could turn things around for myself and create a
Friends..!
Can exes remain friends?
Heard something pretty rude while dining out tonight
So I'm sitting at Paneras when a man and woman sit next to me. The man announces to the woman that as of today, he's lost 35 pounds in 10 weeks from
Too many weddings and babies and I m nowhere
Hi everyone I don't even know how to start but I m feeling depressed. I m in my mid 30's and never had a kid or got married. I had few serious
Is this cheating??
My ex and I got together for closure a few weeks after our break up. We talked and said how much we loved eachother and it was very emotional
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •