Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Ex husband sent me flowers for my birthday yesterday, what do i do?

  1. #1
    Ferrero
    Bronze Member Ferrero's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    South Africa
    Posts
    208
    Gender
    Female

    Ex husband sent me flowers for my birthday yesterday, what do i do?

    H guys,

    Yesterday was my birthday and I got a call from the place where I used to work that I had some flowers delivered. I asked my colleague to read the card and this is what it said: "Do not ask from who, nor ask why... just enjoy and have fun ". I could not send the flowers back because a colleague had already signed for it. and I mean I do love flowers , flowers didnt do me any harm, lol.

    I had hoped it would from the new guy i'm getting to know but then I realised the new guy knows that I no longer work at the place where the flowers were deleivered. So I texted my ex and said Thank you and he replied, "Weren't expecting it were you?" then he goes on to wish me a very happy birthday, saying he has a feeling its going to be an awesome year ahead." The signs are telling me he wants to get back together and make it work but at the same time, female instinct and intuition tells me he is messing around as well which he denies of course. He cant have both worlds. If he wants to play that game, I can keep him on the side and see other guys as well but it doesn't feel right, thats not who I am.

    I'm totally confused now. Any words of Wisdom?

  2. #2
    laura-j
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    392
    Thanked
    1
    Enjoy the flowers and sit back and see what happens, if he really wants to try to work it out... (and if you would entertain that) he will contact you again. Just keep living, and if you are with a new guy that you like, focus on that relationship not your ex husband.

    My ex husband every once in a while shows up again to make amends or tell me how great I am, I think he does it when he is lonely. Pops in, freaks me out, pops back out. (I've never considered reconciling with him, but the intrusion in my life is jolting).

  3. #3
    chitown9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    High Desert, California
    Posts
    4,312
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    428
    Quote Originally Posted by Ferrero [Register to see the link]
    Any words of Wisdom?
    Only time will tell.......chi
    Last edited by chitown9; 06-22-2012 at 05:26 AM.

  4. #4
    pippy longstocking
    Platinum Member pippy longstocking's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    london
    Posts
    10,443
    Thanked
    2636
    I agree with the others

    just carry on with your new man ,enjoy your flowers ...feel good happy and confident and just see what is coming up without
    looking for it.

    oh and happy belated birthday xx

  5. #5
    Crazyaboutdogs
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    53
    Posts
    25,673
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    21
    I looked at your other threads. This guy has been messing you about for a long time, making sure you don't forget about him, while doing nothing really tangible to get back together. Remember that he had an emotional affair with someone and pretended to that person that he was divorced. So honesty and integrity is not his strong suit. He plays games to keep women strung along. Based on his past behaviour the only thing that I read from the flowers and the comment is that this guy is messing with your mind again. Keep strong and continue focusing on moving on from him. He is no good.

  6. #6
    amipushy
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    3,452
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    89
    Quote Originally Posted by Crazyaboutdogs [Register to see the link]
    I looked at your other threads. This guy has been messing you about for a long time, making sure you don't forget about him, while doing nothing really tangible to get back together. Remember that he had an emotional affair with someone and pretended to that person that he was divorced. So honesty and integrity is not his strong suit. He plays games to keep women strung along. Based on his past behaviour the only thing that I read from the flowers and the comment is that this guy is messing with your mind again. Keep strong and continue focusing on moving on from him. He is no good.
    I agree. Some men have a knack of knowing just the right time to come back into your life to prevent you from moving on. Your birthday must have seemed like a gifthorse.

  7. 06-22-2012, 08:45 AM

  8. #7
    lavenderdove
    Platinum Member lavenderdove's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    13,251
    Thanked
    898
    My ex-husband did this ploy after we separated... He cheated on me and treated me with a lot of neglect while married, but once i threw him out, he started doing things he should have been doing all along like acknowledging my birthday etc.

    He made a big deal about my birthday, flowers at work and a gift and dinner, but on the dinner i realized he was still the same person and he was was just 'doing the needful' to try to get me back... just manipulating and flowers and gifts don't MEAN anything if there is not a real change in the person and the original reasons you didn't work well together are still there. He was who he was, and i was just disappointed and disgusted when i realized this 'wooing' he was doing was just to try to get right back to where he was before, to worm his way back in. He hadn't changed and didn't intend to, he was just trying to manipulate me.

    So if you don't think he's really changed and the original reasons you broke up haven't changed, then just look at it as him trying to manipulate you. If he is truly sincere about making amends, he'll do a lot more than send you flowers including changing himself for the better, asking to go to counseling with you, whatever it takes to make amends and repair the damage. Flowers are easy, just throw down the credit card at the florist, but making real changes in order to make a marriage work is an entirely different story and he must be willing to do that and to truly change. Otherwise, just ignore it.

  9. #8
    pudding05
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    17
    Sounds like he may have got wind that you're seeing someone else and decided to pop up and remind you he's there.

    If he's genuine, he'll try. But I agree with everyone else, keep living your life as normal. He needs to do the running if he wants to catch you.

    Hope you had a lovely birthday though!

  10. #9
    HeartGoesOn
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    14,968
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3157
    I'm totally confused now. Any words of Wisdom?
    Yes, take him off the pedestal, and remind yourself that he cheated on you for the entire eleven months you were married to him.

  11. #10
    EgoJoe
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Age
    30
    Posts
    1,709
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2
    Some of you ladies are notoriously imfamous for letting these loser dudes play you for longer than some tool dudes get played by egocentric loser broads.

    OP: I see one thing with the flowers. Note what the card said, "Don't ask why..." etc. basically he was piquing your curiosity with that and then when you text him he says, "You weren't expecting that were you?" it is a very clear pattern of him shifting the focus on to him and his "grandious and magnanimous gesture" of good will to which he "expects nothing in return". Except there is a reason why I put quotation marks around some of those bits and that reason is sarcasm.

    This guy is a liar, a game player and a cheap bastard. He didn't even make sure you still worked there or hire a flower company good enough to know to not leave the flowers there.

    I could go on and on. NEXT!

  12.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
She slept with someone else, but we were broken up.
It's not as simple as it sounds, I've been with my girlfriend for about 1 year and 2 months, and I really do Love her. Here's the crazy part, I'm 19
Gf broke up with me, slept with 2 guys, now we're back together
So my Gf (31 yo, with her for 2 years) has 2 kids and she needed someone to watch them one Sunday. I said I would do it while she was at work. That
How long did it take you to feel love again for your gf/bf after reconciliation?
Like the title says, did it take you awhile to feel love again? Did the separation take away some of that love you shared, and when you rekindled, it
Ex deleted me off social media, will he ever come back to me now?
So my ex had broken up with me 2 weeks ago and since then he had been stringing me along saying he wants to get back, then he doesn't etc. The day
Ex cheated on her new boyfriend with me
Okay. Here goes nothing. Me and my ex dated for about three years. We went through the ups and downs of a relationship. Started out great. Hit
Never thought I would be back posting here - but the unthinkable happened
:rugby: Well 'm back here after a very long absence to which I was hoping would be permanent! I created my ENA account early March 2004 (13 years
Help, what do I do? I miss my ex!
Hello, I'll try and keep this as short as possible but... Me and my ex were together for two years and things were great, I was 27 she was a

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
my boyfriend mom is my boyfriends girlfriend, thats just the way it seem!
Ive known my boyfriend for years, but, we never dated UNTIL a year ago. And some things has start to bother me about him and his mom relationship
Disconnect
This might sound weird I never brought it up to anyone. Does anyone else feel a huge disconnect. What I mean I always feel like I'm just reading a
Wife thought I shaved body hair I never had, is she cheating
I had my shirt off this morning and my wife of 23 years asked why I shaved my shoulder hair. I have never had body hair from birth on shoulders
5 years together, no reason for splitting..
Hi, thanks for taking the time to read this. Um, so. My girlfriend of 5 years (i'm 25) split with me. And i'm torturing myself over not
How do you know when it's Love?
I've been dating a man since early November. I met him through mutual friends and we spent a lot of time being friends only before we started dating
Tired of being alone
I work two jobs and go to school, I only have one night a week where I am off before 10pm and on those days I'm off at 6:00. My life is crazy but
Playing the field - When do you stop talking with other people and go exclusive?
I'm about two months into the dating scene after getting out of a four year relationship. I've matched with a number of women on Tinder and Bumble
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •