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Thread: She's said YES!!

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Huntress0527's Avatar
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    If she said there was no spark and not feeling that way what's making it come back again? Sounds like she's just telling you what you want to hear to spare your feelings. I think you should bow out gracefully and move on.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Doc Blaze's Avatar
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    I dont think this well end well IMO...take it slow..no pressure.. That means anytime you try to move fwd and ask anything about you guys, take a step into getting closer she can use the excuse that your pressuring her and thats not what she wants..

  3. #13
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    Well I was speaking to a female friend who has repeatedly lost the spark with her man. However she said it would come back after she had calmed down after a couple of weeks. All the time she knew he wanted a relationship.

    But perhaps that is the word which is scaring my ex away, relationship.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Huntress0527's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by incomingfire
    Well I was speaking to a female friend who has repeatedly lost the spark with her man. However she said it would come back after she had calmed down after a couple of weeks. All the time she knew he wanted a relationship.

    But perhaps that is the word which is scaring my ex away, relationship.
    Sounds like game playing. You really want someone who is that wishy washy?

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  6. #15
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    I want to have what we had, but just control myself and live my own life too. So that things don't become stale and the spark doesn't vanish.

    This WAS the problem, I know how to stop it happening again.....I'm just trying to figure out how to get back to square one and make sure I do it properly from scratch.

  7. #16
    Gold Member OneSadPuppy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by incomingfire
    I want to have what we had, but just control myself and live my own life too. So that things don't become stale and the spark doesn't vanish.

    This WAS the problem, I know how to stop it happening again.....I'm just trying to figure out how to get back to square one and make sure I do it properly from scratch.
    link removed

    OSP

  8. #17
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    Forget all the game playing, forget trying trying to be above her in the food chain, forget about trying to impress her, forget about all that crap.

    BE YOURSELF, PERIOD. End of story. If she doesn't like who you are, which is a nice average guy, then it's doomed no matter what you do. You really can't change who you are and if she's not happy with that, you two will never work. So just do what you'd normally do and see if that works.

  9. #18
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    OSP - Wow, what a read!!

    RFB - that's all well and good, but I recognise a problem I have. Once a relationship forms I become more desperate and needy towards the woman. I don't want to change, I want to develop as a male so that these unattractive traits no longer appear!

  10. #19
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    take even more time for you. like others said reconnect with friends, work on your dreams whatever makes you happy. then let her reach out to you. she agreed to trying and taking things slowly and pressure free. to make them pressure free let her come to you! if your happy being alone and having fun with your friends then you won't need to depend on he as much. you need to take it slow not only for her sake but for yours as well!!

    good luck (:

  11. #20
    Silver Member brickheart's Avatar
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    I disagree with the idea of helping her. You're an ex - not a boyfriend - and you don't want to be relegated to the friend zone. Speaking from the girl's point of view - I've dated "nice guys" before and it gets really dull when they just fall all over themselves trying to help me. Just give her some space to sort out her life. She knows you're interested in being with her, so let her dictate the pace and don't let her call you up for favors regarding her house or car or anything else. Be too busy for that.

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