Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19

Thread: Too much pain to lose virginity

  1. #1
    CedarDrop
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Female

    Too much pain to lose virginity

    Hi guys,

    I'm 22 years old, in a relationship with a guy I love (and am very attracted to) and reluctantly still a virgin. This boyfriend is the second one I've tried to have sex with, and the first could hardly fit a finger inside me. I have a gradually tapered dildo I can use now, but I can't stretch anywhere near wide enough to fit my current boyfriend, or any other dildos I've bought. I can currently fit a width like a silver dollar (about an inch in diameter), and that hurts a LOT. Yes, we use plenty of lube, lots of foreplay, etc. Still, he can't even get himself past my labia.

    Please help me guys! I'm so embarrassed to not be able to do something that literal trillions of women have done before. I've put in so much effort, and I'm so afraid I will never get my partner to fit. Even words of encouragement would mean a lot right now; I'm feeling pretty low.

    Thanks everyone.

  2. #2
    Moontiger
    Platinum Member Moontiger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    30
    Posts
    7,728
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    973
    You probably have a medical condition. There is a name for this. I'll find it an post it here.

  3. #3
    Moontiger
    Platinum Member Moontiger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    30
    Posts
    7,728
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    973
    Here we go: link removed

    I'll post more links for you but I highly recommend seeing a doctor.

  4. #4
    upsndowns
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Texas
    Age
    25
    Posts
    121
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5
    Hi, CedarDrop.

    There is nothing wrong with you, and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. It seems like you have put a lot of effort into stretching. Do you know if you have a hymen? Have you ever bled from stretching? If you've never bled, then it's possible that you were born with a hymen and it never broke. I would definitely recommend going to the doctor, if you haven't had a Well Woman's exam before. Depending on the state you live in and your income, you can get a reduced rate at planned parenthood. A healthcare provider can see if there are any abnormalities in your vaginal opening, and even break your hymen surgically if it is tougher than normal. Going to a OBGYN can be scary, so see if a good girlfriend or if your boyfriend can drive you there and/or be with you while the doctor talks about what he/she finds. And just know that no matter what happens, there are plenty of ways to be intimate and enjoy each other sexually without penetration. Some of the best sex I've ever had has been things other than "P in V". Best of luck!

  5. #5
    annie24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    46,238
    Thanked
    1394
    I think you should go to a gyn and have them check you out. In the meantime, keep working with the dialators.

  6. #6
    jjp223
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    40
    Gender
    Female
    Hmm... This probably won't help much, but have you tried stretching? Like leg stretches? I agree with Moontiger that you probably have a medical condition, but you might not. I had the same problem as you when I was about 15. I wasn't having sex at that age but I had tried touching myself and even just one finger hurt a LOT. As of now, I've been having sex for a couple years but it still hurts for the first minute or so the first time I do have sex after a week without any.

  7. #7
    Moontiger
    Platinum Member Moontiger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    30
    Posts
    7,728
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    973
    Ask your doctor if you possible have Vaginismus.

  8. #8
    CedarDrop
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Female
    Hey guys, thanks for your advice.

    I have thought about vaginismus as a possible cause, though with what (admittedly minimal) progress I've made, I thought maybe normal stretching was what I needed. I will probably end up seeing a gynecologist one way or the other. I'm Canadian, so it's free, so nothing to lose really. Also, I believe I lost my hymen as an adolescent from horseback riding, since some unexplained blood after a lesson, but it is certainly a strong possibility. One way or the other, I'd like to have an answer, so I guess I'll book my appointment.

  9. #9
    FathomFear
    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    37
    Posts
    4,647
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    7
    Quote Originally Posted by CedarDrop [Register to see the link]
    Hey guys, thanks for your advice.

    I have thought about vaginismus as a possible cause, though with what (admittedly minimal) progress I've made, I thought maybe normal stretching was what I needed. I will probably end up seeing a gynecologist one way or the other. I'm Canadian, so it's free, so nothing to lose really. Also, I believe I lost my hymen as an adolescent from horseback riding, since some unexplained blood after a lesson, but it is certainly a strong possibility. One way or the other, I'd like to have an answer, so I guess I'll book my appointment.
    One of my best friends was diagnosed with vaginismus. The thing is that it can be physical, psychological, or a combination of both. My friend has been prescribed various creams but also had a psychological evaluation too. I'd definitely pursue that route. My friend is glad she did.

  10. #10
    blueidealist24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    4,122
    Thanked
    99
    I had the same problem when a guy fingered me although he did get two fingers in, I just didn't LIKE it.. that's partly why I'm afraid to have sex.. I didn't think I had a medical condition, I just thought I was small down there and a wimp about pain, but maybe I do have a problem too, hmm! I'm afraid to go to a gyno too though lol, I'm almost like screw it, I won't ever have sex or I'll just put up with the pain somehow. I've also considered trying to lose my virginity to a guy with a small you know (can't type the word or it's starred) although some people say it still reallly hurts.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
real feelings, only for girls who I dont have sex with. Confused.
I have been allitle confused about how my brain works, and want to see if there are other people out there who are like this. Im starting to realize
advice please
So me and my girlfriend haven't had sex in about 2 months now. well she started to be real distant and then we broke up. its been a week since we
Why am I shakey and have a racing heart after sex
I'm 120 pounds and a female. -please help!
Featured Threads
my boyfriend mom is my boyfriends girlfriend, thats just the way it seem!
Ive known my boyfriend for years, but, we never dated UNTIL a year ago. And some things has start to bother me about him and his mom relationship
Disconnect
This might sound weird I never brought it up to anyone. Does anyone else feel a huge disconnect. What I mean I always feel like I'm just reading a
Wife thought I shaved body hair I never had, is she cheating
I had my shirt off this morning and my wife of 23 years asked why I shaved my shoulder hair. I have never had body hair from birth on shoulders
5 years together, no reason for splitting..
Hi, thanks for taking the time to read this. Um, so. My girlfriend of 5 years (i'm 25) split with me. And i'm torturing myself over not
How do you know when it's Love?
I've been dating a man since early November. I met him through mutual friends and we spent a lot of time being friends only before we started dating
Tired of being alone
I work two jobs and go to school, I only have one night a week where I am off before 10pm and on those days I'm off at 6:00. My life is crazy but
Playing the field - When do you stop talking with other people and go exclusive?
I'm about two months into the dating scene after getting out of a four year relationship. I've matched with a number of women on Tinder and Bumble
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •