About three years ago, I started to fall for my best friend. We were quite literally inseparable, we would tell each other anything and everything and do quite a lot of things together - might I add that we were close friends before I fell for her.
About two years ago, I admitted to her how I felt. She excused herself, said how she always thought of me as a very good friend - and said how she would hate it if we weren't to be friends any longer. So, foolishly or not, continued the friendship. It kinda grew stronger, we started to rely on each other even more for emotional support - telling each other things no one else knew, that sort of malarkey.
It was about a year ago though when things really took a nosedive in terms of my emotions. She had started to have feelings for this guy - and as expected, she would only talk to me about it - no one else, not even her closest female friends. Okay, perhaps I did give her the wrong message as I was interested in another lass at the time and I was asking her for advice and such, but she clearly knew that I had feelings for her still.
This mutual-relationship-advice thing kept going on for months, to the point where on reflection she was saying things to try to evoke a reaction from me - lines such as "why does no one like me..." and "I'm going to be alone for ever" - whilst at the same time (and same conversation) admitting that she's "totally sorry for rejecting me".
Anyway, six or so months ago she finally made it official with one of the guys she had been constantly going on about to me over texts/emails. So, I did what I think fitting and I said something along the lines of how "I couldn't lie to myself any more" and how that she is/was "constantly in my mind" and that I felt that, with everything the way it was, not right for me to be keeping in contact.
She was distraught with this (and "sorry" that she never "felt anything that way" for me) - but she said that she "understood what I was going on about" and that she'd keep her end of the deal, staying out of contact until I'm ready.
However, there she is, every couple of months, trying to talk to me like nothing has happened and I, well, I didn't reply as I didn't want to get back involved with her right now.
So, was I right to start non-contact?
And, was she a real friend to me (I know I probably wasn't at the end) or was she using me as someone to cry on, an emotional tampon perhaps.