Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 28

Thread: How long until you become a "couple"?

  1. #1
    Natasha24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,952
    Thanked
    94

    How long until you become a "couple"?

    (This is my first "dating relationship" since my 7 year LTR, sorry if this is a stupid question!)

    How long should you be dating someone before you become a couple/boyfriend/girlfriend?

    I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months, 5 or 6 big dates/sleepovers (once every two weeks), we get along great in almost every way. He said he likes to take things slow before making it official, which is fine by me. He always talks about how we would make a great couple, he could see us being together for a long time, etc etc. I've made it clear that I want to be official with him, so it's not like he fears rejection at this point.

    I'm just wondering what is the norm here? I know people will say it's different for each person, but I want to know at what point I'm being strung along.

  2. #2
    pinkelephant
    Platinum Member pinkelephant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Lala land
    Age
    28
    Posts
    5,681
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    7
    Honestly, after like a month, if a guy doesn't at least bring up exclusivity, I'd back off. And if I had a sleep over, the gf speech should come within a week or two. I've never had anything different. I'd def be thrown off... BUT everyone is different. If he's into you and you know it, don't sweat a couple of words.

  3. #3
    RedDress
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    5,531
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    139
    Well... these days, there seems to be a difference between exclusivity and being a couple.

    Personally? I always ask for exclusivity before any sleepovers. I don't want my guy having sex with multiple people while I am having sex with him. I just don't think it's healthy... Unfortunately, if you don't specify that you want to be exclusive, you are more than likely not and there is a high probability that he is sleeping with others. And then... why should he make it exclusive?

    Following the exclusivity and sex, there is less urgency to make it to "couple"-dom. If he wants to take 3 or even 6 months to introduce me to people and start having bf/gf expectations, I am a-ok with that.

    I guess... what are you hoping to achieve with that label? What does that label mean to you?

    If he currently, technically sleep with other people and he's not making moves to tie it down? You are in strange territory for me... I've tried it (once)... and it didn't work. It ended up being a FWB relationship.

  4. #4
    diamond78
    Platinum Member diamond78's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    New York
    Age
    39
    Posts
    1,610
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    10
    For me, it can be anywhere from 2-4 months. Anything after 4 months would make me think the guy isn't really serious about me and still keeping his options open.

    I've never let a dating situation linger that long though.

  5. #5
    Hoagy
    Gold Member Hoagy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    West Midlands, UK
    Posts
    623
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    52
    I would say 2 months is long enough to know whether you want to give it a shot and be a couple or move on with other people.

  6. #6
    Natasha24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,952
    Thanked
    94
    Just to be clear, we do sexual things but we're not having sex. I told him we won't have sex until we're "official". I know it's a pretty thin line since we're already doing other things, but oh well.

    We agreed not to fool around with other people (but I know he could be).

  7. #7
    Batya33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    43,115
    Thanked
    3085
    My general sense was about two months (or less). My husband and I were official right away since we got back together - the first time around that we dated it was less than 2 months, probably closer to a month. But we waited 5 months before the "real" sleepover

  8. #8
    RedDress
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    5,531
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    139
    Quote Originally Posted by Natasha24 [Register to see the link]
    Just to be clear, we do sexual things but we're not having sex. I told him we won't have sex until we're "official". I know it's a pretty thin line since we're already doing other things, but oh well.

    We agreed not to fool around with other people (but I know he could be).
    Oh ok. Well... at one point you/he are going to want to "break the seal". LOL!

    I think this situation is going to take care of itself as the desire for sex becomes unbearable...

    I wouldn't sweat it too much... one of you will break soon and it will become clear if he's still trying to decide or just dilly-dallying...

  9. 06-03-2012, 06:12 PM

  10. #9
    Miss Firecracker
    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    8,528
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    37
    For me, exclusive before sleeping together. Definitely!

  11. #10
    -Sanguine-
    Platinum Member -Sanguine-'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    3,028
    Gender
    Female
    For me, it's always been within at least a month. I think for most people that's very soon, but it has always felt right for me. With my ex, it was 4 weeks, , and with my current boyfriend, we waited two weeks to become official. I guess for me it is the fact that I would never date more than one person at once so I don't see what the point in waiting is. With all the men who I've been exclusive with I have always felt a very strong connection and knew it could be a great relationship and they've felt the same. I don't like the whole "what are we" way of thinking and I don't see the harm in putting a label on it so you're not questioning it. I always wonder why people do all the actions of being in a relationship but don't call the other person their boyfriend or girlfriend. It boggles my mind. Plus, I would not sleep with someone unless we are in an exclusive relationship.

  12.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
Post here instead of contacting your Ghoster!
I had to!! :lol!: I've been seeing a lot of us struggling with ghosting and having a hard time not texting, which in most cases it's the right
We're so perfect but..
Hello everyone, so i'm new here and i thought why not get some advice on how to handle this guy i'm texting, so i'm gonna get right into it! I'm
Ghosting after seeing for a month
I have been dating someone for one month maybe 6 dates. Last week 3 days in a row. We have been texting each single day of this month but he is so
What does it mean when a girl says that I'm cheesy?
What does it mean when a girl says that I'm cheesy? Is it something good or? Do I need to see it as a compliment and that she likes me? Thanks
Blast from the past
Hello, I haven’t been here for a while, but I guess now is that time again when I would appreciate a lot your opinion. Long story short: 1
Girlfriend slept with other guys when we started dating
Hi guys, Just after some advice on what you would do in this situation or why she might have done it? I met my girl in December and we had a
Asked for my number but never texted
So on a night out I met a guy through a friend (there was a bunch of us) This guy tried to make convo with me and as we were walking around the club

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancé of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
missing atm
I think what I miss at the moment is having a friend to talk to like we used to. She became the only person I really talked to for the better part
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Girlfriend always mad at me
Me and my girlfriend have been togetehr for almost a year. I love her more than anything and i know shes not cheating on me or anything like that
I [F/26] found underwear in my boyfriend's [M/30] pocket.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to look for some money, so I looked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I
Ex gf text me out of the blue
I guess I just want some feedback and honest replies as my head is completely gone again. Me and my ex gf have been in no contact for a few months
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •