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Thread: How long until you become a "couple"?

  1. #21
    Natasha24
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    Thanks for the replies everyone. I still really like him and I hope we can be official soon, but for now, I'm going to slowly start meeting guys again. I don't want to end up wasting my time.
    Thanks again!

  2. #22
    diamond78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natasha24 [Register to see the link]
    Sorry to dig up an old thread like this, but I have another question.

    It's getting close to 3 months with this guy, and nothing's happened. We talked about being official again the other day, and he said "There's something that's making me want to wait to be official. I don't know what it is, but something's telling me not to do it yet". I have no idea what to make of this.
    You should have nipped that in the bud right away. I would have said something like "Oh. Well, when you feel you are finally ready to make things official then give me a call, but until then I won't just sit here and wait for you to finally determine that I am good enough to be in a relationship with"

    And it would be wrap. Focus on other things in my life and put myself back on the dating scene.

    I had a good friend who got caught up in something like this. The guy kept stalling on making it official. This went on for 6-7 months of 'dating' and then eventually it ended because she found out he had started dating another female because they had never made things official.

    When a guy hasn't made things official after a few months, it means he is still keeping his options open.

    I know you like this guy, but you need to love yourself more and put a timestamp on this dating game. You seem to have the right attitude about all this. You'll know what to do.

  3. #23
    blueidealist24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natasha24 [Register to see the link]
    I made a joke the other day about him being a commitment-phone, but he said he isn't. All his previous relationships were 1-3 years, so I don't think he's afraid of commitment. I just don't get why he's holding off.
    We're still not having sex. It's really difficult to be honest, but I feel like this is the only thing that's going to make him want to be official - because in all other ways, we already are.
    Maybe he's been burned in the past from his last relationship.. but I'm starting to think he IS interested in someone else too or just playing the field.

  4. #24
    Natasha24
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    Quote Originally Posted by blueidealist24 [Register to see the link]
    Maybe he's been burned in the past from his last relationship.. but I'm starting to think he IS interested in someone else too or just playing the field.
    His last relationship (2 years) ended because he cheated on her. Not drunk, no reason, no excuse. Just cheated on her. He genuinely seemed like he felt horrible about it, but still..

    It's funny how there can be all these red flags right infront of your face, but you don't notice them until someone makes you write them all down and read them. I like him a lot and I think I've been ignoring some of these issues. I'm going to keep seeing other guys and take this guy very casually.. I'm starting to feel a little weary about him, regardless of how much I like him.

  5. #25
    Madison12
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    I'm starting to not like this guy at all for you.

  6. #26
    PaintWithLight
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natasha24 [Register to see the link]
    His last relationship (2 years) ended because he cheated on her. Not drunk, no reason, no excuse. Just cheated on her. He genuinely seemed like he felt horrible about it, but still..

    It's funny how there can be all these red flags right infront of your face, but you don't notice them until someone makes you write them all down and read them. I like him a lot and I think I've been ignoring some of these issues. I'm going to keep seeing other guys and take this guy very casually.. I'm starting to feel a little weary about him, regardless of how much I like him.
    Also, you can say you are not "having sex" but you are doing sexual stuff with him. He is getting sleepovers and other types of "boyfriend benefits" yet he is wanting to stay completely in the gray zone. This way, if he is dating, sleeping or chasing other girls, he can always claim that you are unfair to be angry because "nothing was official". That alone smacks of game playing. He has lingering doubts about committing but no doubts about having sexual play with you. And you have been allowing it for 3 months. If you suddenly wake up, he can claim you are threatening him and pressuring him into a decision. He has you right where he wants you. Free fun for as long as he can string you along!

  7. #27
    SuperDuper
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    Agree with the above poster and pretty much everyone else here. This sounds like something I'd do IF I was into games and IF it was a girl I didn't want to commit to.

  8. #28
    Confused22

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    Hello Everyone, I feel like I am in the exact same situation. All of your comments have been extremely helpful so far. I'm just curious, Natasha24, what ended up happening with this guy? I also went a very long time without dating. I actually really didn't think I was ready to date again until I met this guy, so I'm not even sure how I would go about meeting other people, even though that sounds like a good choice at this point.

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