Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 28 of 28

Thread: How long until you become a "couple"?

  1. #21
    Natasha24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,952
    Thanked
    94
    Thanks for the replies everyone. I still really like him and I hope we can be official soon, but for now, I'm going to slowly start meeting guys again. I don't want to end up wasting my time.
    Thanks again!

  2. #22
    diamond78
    Platinum Member diamond78's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    New York
    Age
    39
    Posts
    1,610
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    10
    Quote Originally Posted by Natasha24 [Register to see the link]
    Sorry to dig up an old thread like this, but I have another question.

    It's getting close to 3 months with this guy, and nothing's happened. We talked about being official again the other day, and he said "There's something that's making me want to wait to be official. I don't know what it is, but something's telling me not to do it yet". I have no idea what to make of this.
    You should have nipped that in the bud right away. I would have said something like "Oh. Well, when you feel you are finally ready to make things official then give me a call, but until then I won't just sit here and wait for you to finally determine that I am good enough to be in a relationship with"

    And it would be wrap. Focus on other things in my life and put myself back on the dating scene.

    I had a good friend who got caught up in something like this. The guy kept stalling on making it official. This went on for 6-7 months of 'dating' and then eventually it ended because she found out he had started dating another female because they had never made things official.

    When a guy hasn't made things official after a few months, it means he is still keeping his options open.

    I know you like this guy, but you need to love yourself more and put a timestamp on this dating game. You seem to have the right attitude about all this. You'll know what to do.

  3. #23
    blueidealist24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    4,122
    Thanked
    99
    Quote Originally Posted by Natasha24 [Register to see the link]
    I made a joke the other day about him being a commitment-phone, but he said he isn't. All his previous relationships were 1-3 years, so I don't think he's afraid of commitment. I just don't get why he's holding off.
    We're still not having sex. It's really difficult to be honest, but I feel like this is the only thing that's going to make him want to be official - because in all other ways, we already are.
    Maybe he's been burned in the past from his last relationship.. but I'm starting to think he IS interested in someone else too or just playing the field.

  4. #24
    Natasha24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,952
    Thanked
    94
    Quote Originally Posted by blueidealist24 [Register to see the link]
    Maybe he's been burned in the past from his last relationship.. but I'm starting to think he IS interested in someone else too or just playing the field.
    His last relationship (2 years) ended because he cheated on her. Not drunk, no reason, no excuse. Just cheated on her. He genuinely seemed like he felt horrible about it, but still..

    It's funny how there can be all these red flags right infront of your face, but you don't notice them until someone makes you write them all down and read them. I like him a lot and I think I've been ignoring some of these issues. I'm going to keep seeing other guys and take this guy very casually.. I'm starting to feel a little weary about him, regardless of how much I like him.

  5. #25
    Madison12
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    208
    I'm starting to not like this guy at all for you.

  6. #26
    PaintWithLight
    Platinum Member PaintWithLight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,276
    Thanked
    414
    Quote Originally Posted by Natasha24 [Register to see the link]
    His last relationship (2 years) ended because he cheated on her. Not drunk, no reason, no excuse. Just cheated on her. He genuinely seemed like he felt horrible about it, but still..

    It's funny how there can be all these red flags right infront of your face, but you don't notice them until someone makes you write them all down and read them. I like him a lot and I think I've been ignoring some of these issues. I'm going to keep seeing other guys and take this guy very casually.. I'm starting to feel a little weary about him, regardless of how much I like him.
    Also, you can say you are not "having sex" but you are doing sexual stuff with him. He is getting sleepovers and other types of "boyfriend benefits" yet he is wanting to stay completely in the gray zone. This way, if he is dating, sleeping or chasing other girls, he can always claim that you are unfair to be angry because "nothing was official". That alone smacks of game playing. He has lingering doubts about committing but no doubts about having sexual play with you. And you have been allowing it for 3 months. If you suddenly wake up, he can claim you are threatening him and pressuring him into a decision. He has you right where he wants you. Free fun for as long as he can string you along!

  7. #27
    SuperDuper
    Gold Member SuperDuper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Austin, Texas
    Posts
    998
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    4
    Agree with the above poster and pretty much everyone else here. This sounds like something I'd do IF I was into games and IF it was a girl I didn't want to commit to.

  8. #28
    Confused22

    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    1
    Hello Everyone, I feel like I am in the exact same situation. All of your comments have been extremely helpful so far. I'm just curious, Natasha24, what ended up happening with this guy? I also went a very long time without dating. I actually really didn't think I was ready to date again until I met this guy, so I'm not even sure how I would go about meeting other people, even though that sounds like a good choice at this point.

  9.  

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Top Threads
Question About Multi-Dating And Sex
This is to the ladies who multi-date, but men feel free to chime in too. Last summer, I multi-dated a little bit (no sex), but I never really
"Falling in Love" according to an evolutionary psychologist:
So, I've been listening to a podcast called "Beat Your Genes" by Dr. Doug Lisle, a clinical psychologist who approaches psychology from a
What if she doesn't say I Love You Back?
Hi everyone. I have been dating my girlfriend since January. After long hard thought I have finally come to realise that I love her. I totally accept
His ex is still in the picture..
So, I've been dating this guy for a few months now (known him for over a year.) Yesterday he posted a photo on his social media of him with animals
Head over heels over someone I've never met
So a few months ago I decided to try out online dating. After a weeks of trying it out, I found someone that was perfect for me. We had the same
dating pet peeve-can it be stopped?
Hi, all! I have this HUGE pet peeve. Just about every time I go on a first date, I get pressured for sex. It doesn't matter how I dress. I don't act
I can't quit thinking about him. What is my next move?
So there is this guy that I can NOT quit thinking about and I need some guidance. I'm 29 and haven't dated too much the last few years. I'm super

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My boyfriend doesn't text me as much anymore?
My boyfriend would text me everyday all day and now he won't text me first anymore or at all sometimes. Last night he stopped replying to my text so
Is she the rebound
If he leaves a 17 year relationship to date his High School Sweetheart from 32 years ago, is she a rebound ?
I want to break NC after almost 2 months to invite my ex gf to a concert
We have been in NC for almost 2 months after being together for 6 years. She stopped responding to a text i sent her. I saw she was interested in
Online dating, and why it doesn't work well for most men
We discussed this before, and for some reason people got personal and mean about it. So I have no intention of returning to this thread, but I wanted
PLEASE HELP, boyfriend talks to mom 4-5 times per day, very odd relationship....
Hi guys, Always been hesitant to post my personal business online. Anyways... here it goes... So my boyfriend is amazing...(just to throw this
Hurtful joking
My bf jokes about things that are very hurtful. Today was probably one of the most hurtful. He tried to grab my breasts and he does this a lot. He's
He dumped me and won't return my stuff
So I was seeing a guy for a short amount of time. Out of the blue....he blocked me? Fair enough, I get the message, I think it's rude but
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •