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Thread: "Boken up" or taking a "break"

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012

    "Boken up" or taking a "break"

    So my boyfriend and I had been together for almost 2 years. Then this past March, he had a serious concussion. We had one good week and then we got into a fight. I had been sad and mopey for a while and was relying on him for my happiness. He got upset when I asked him if we were ok and if we were happy. He got so mad that he wouldn't talk to me for a week. We met on Sunday and he asked me for another week to himself just to make sure he wanted to be with me and so he could think. We got back from that week and he said he could never imagine breaking up with me he loved me too much. We didn't really talk about our real issues though. We had a good three days and then he went on vacation and we weren't able to talk. He came back and we spent a great night together. Nothing was wrong. I'm a freshman in college and he's a senior in high school but his parents let me sleep over all the time. Anyways the following night his sister was attacking me because I was uncomfortable that a girl (his younger sisters friend) wanted to take him to the junior prom (he wouldn't be going anyways because they don't have a senior prom). I don't know why it really bothered me but it did. Anyways I tried to call him to get him to talk to her and he wasn't picking up. I called his mom just to ask if he was home or not, she and are really close.
    He called me and flipped out at me saying "he did love me" and "I was tearing his family apart". This isn't like him at all. He literally snapped and couldn't have a legitimate conversation with me. He said he needed space so I gave him two weeks. We we're supposed to talk and he said he was having a bad day and wasn't in the mood to talk and he texted me and told me to listen to the song "valentine" i forget who its by but to sum it up its a break up song about letting someone go. So that was really devastating for me. The next day, the day we were supposed to talk, his dad called me which is really unusual. As close as his family and I are, his dad was always the one who stayed out of things. He called me to let me know that my boyfriend was not himself and was depressed and angry all the time and yelling and screaming at his family. My boyfriend told his dad that he felt like he wasn't able to control his emotions anymore.
    So when we met to talk my boyfriend said he couldn't be with me right now. He didn't want to be boyfriend and girlfriend because our relationship was "a crumpled piece of paper in his mind". He hopes we can fix things and wants to be with me but part of him thinks we shouldn't be. He doesn't know if this is just the concussion and the aftermath telling him that or if he really feels that way. He said he still loves me and hopes we can fix things. He said he can't make any promises though. We then had sex (because I'm that smart....) and it was really romantic and intimate and was literally better than any sex we've had in a while. Afterwards we even cuddled for a bit and he said it made him want to be with me now. He said even being with me and having me there made him start to change his mind. He said he can't stay mad at me when I'm around. It's been about two and half weeks and we're meeting at the end of June so in another five weeks to see if we can get back together. We decided not to have sex with other people and he told me he "probably won't hook up with anyone anyways". We also decided to not really talk for now, but I was going to try and get in touch with him in a couple of weeks just to check in on him. I still really want to be with him. I'm really worried about him though, he's going through therapy right now and working on himself. I'm struggling to cope with this though. I miss him like crazy and just want to be with him. I want to have hope but I don't want to get my feelings hurt again! I want to be with him and I know that there's a chance I will get my heart broken again but at the same time there's a part of me that thinks it won't happen and that we will be together. I honestly think that if he wants to we can be happy again together, and especially healthy! I'm just scared of putting myself out there and being rejected by him again.
    Help me! I don't know what to think or how to cope with all of this!
    Last edited by kts; 05-24-2012 at 12:55 PM.

  2. #2
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Move on.... this guys gonna play more games

  3. #3
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    No such thing as taking a break. You are broken up. Let go, move on, and see what life has to offer. Waiting around for someone to change their mind is wasted time.

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