Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 52

Thread: Sexually Not Attracted to Fiancee

  1. #1
    ThePinkAngel
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    77
    Gender
    Female

    Unhappy Sexually Not Attracted to Fiancee

    Hi,

    I am new here in this site. I just stumbled on this website when I typed randomly about my issues with my boyfriend. My bf (or fiancee) and I are in relationship for almost 4 years now and we are planning to get married this year. I know and i feel that I love him. He is so good looking and with a good physique but I am not attracted to him sexually the way I used to the first time we did it. Whenever we kiss no matter how hard i try to turn myself on I can't. Plus he has a different way of approaching me sexually. He is adorable than sexual when he does it. I've been in many relationships before and I was not like this when it comes to sex I am usually very active. I don't know why I can't feel any desire to have sex with him. I often times just do it for his sake and not mine. I don't feel pleasure when we do it. I know i love him very much I can't live without him. I am not seeing other men or having an affair with others. I watched porn deliberately to test myself if i will ever feel aroused. I did feel aroused with porn but not the same as when you are having sex with the one you love. What I feel about him is very wholesome. I don't even know how to explain it. But I can be with him for the 10 years or more without sex. I know sex is important in every relationship so I want to make sure I can change before I say "I do". I am now asking myself many many many questions like; What if it will come to a point that i will be tired of doing it for his sake? will it cause something really bad in our relationship? If I will be honest to him about this will he understand? or will he walk away? will he be offended and be very conscious? will he help me solve this problem? What if he will look for pleasure with someone else? I know I love him and I asked myself many times if he is the one. I've tested myself already. But why do i feel like this?

    Can anyone please help me?


    Sophie

  2. #2
    The_Seeker
    Platinum Member The_Seeker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    5,463
    You do not love him.

    Leave him.

    You're wasting his time.

    And your time.

  3. #3
    poetryandlyrics
    Platinum Member poetryandlyrics's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,472
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    106
    Question, were you initially like this also with him?

  4. #4
    jimmyc
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    38
    The BEST thing to do is tell him what you love in the bedroom how you want it!! tell him that you want to be sexed up!! it'll work 100% of the time

  5. #5
    RitaTrue
    Platinum Member RitaTrue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    A Pineapple Under The Sea
    Posts
    1,815
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by The_Seeker [Register to see the link]
    You do not love him.

    Leave him.

    You're wasting his time.

    And your time.
    This.
    Blunt, plain, and simple.

    Getting married will only make this worse. Do not marry this man. Do not put him through a sexless marriage because you do not love him.

    Leave. It'll be best for both of you.

  6. #6
    DN

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    42,515
    Thanked
    4
    I don't think you should marry someone to whom you are not sexually attracted. It isn't fair to either of you and you are deceiving him by faking it. You owe him the truth.

  7. #7
    blueidealist24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    4,122
    Thanked
    99
    I think other people are being too quick to say you should leave him. You said that the first time you had sex, you were attracted to him. I don't think you should give up the rest of your good relationship and the good four years you had together over an attraction issue that wasn't always there. When exactly did you stop being attracted to him? There are a lot of things you could try to scale up the attraction again. Maybe it just got boring because it wasn't anything new and different, it was always just you and him doing the same thing. I've heard that happens to a lot of couples.

  8. #8
    The_Seeker
    Platinum Member The_Seeker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    5,463
    Quote Originally Posted by blueidealist24 [Register to see the link]
    I think other people are being too quick to say you should leave him. You said that the first time you had sex, you were attracted to him. I don't think you should give up the rest of your good relationship and the good four years you had together over an attraction issue that wasn't always there. When exactly did you stop being attracted to him? There are a lot of things you could try to scale up the attraction again. Maybe it just got boring because it wasn't anything new and different, it was always just you and him doing the same thing. I've heard that happens to a lot of couples.
    Sorry, when you start "QUESTIONING" your relationship and sex and start complaining about this and that,

    Yeah, leave him.

    OP is expecting fairytale/spark/fireworks/butterflies in stomach whatever some girls want these days.

    The Fiancee should leave fast and find someone who wants him sexually.

  9. #9
    BrianH46
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    1,863
    Thanked
    114
    Quote Originally Posted by The_Seeker [Register to see the link]
    You do not love him.

    Leave him.

    You're wasting his time.

    And your time.
    She see's a potential problem in the relationship and is actively taking steps to try and solve it................... Sounds like love to me.

  10. #10
    The_Seeker
    Platinum Member The_Seeker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    5,463
    Quote Originally Posted by BrianH46 [Register to see the link]
    She see's a potential problem in the relationship and is actively taking steps to try and solve it................... Sounds like love to me.
    Maybe that sounds like love.

    That sounds rationalizing of her wanting behavior.

    She is not sexually attracted to her fiancÚ. She feels bad. When we feel bad, we rationalize as human nature.

    OP, leave him. Seriously. You're wasting both ya'll time.

  11.  

Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
Found intimate pics of bf on Internet
Hi, I've been with my guy for 5 months but known him much longer. Overall he treats me well and is a good guy but I keep finding things about him
Boyfriend of 3 years is blaming me for his smoking
Hi everyone. First a little background info on the situation: We're both 26 and we met 3 years ago online (not on a dating site) where we maintained
Not being "too" available.
I posted a few days ago about the younger guy I've been dating for 6 months and how he doesn't want to use BG/GF labels. I got some great feedback
Jealous of my boyfriend's wild past
But not exactly how you would think. I've made my peace with his sexual past, it's his "fun" and wild past that I can't get over. My boyfriend
My mother is snooping into my relationship
I know I posted about how my boyfriend came out as a bisexual after three years of dating right before he wanted to propose. And if some of you don't
Long Distance Boyfriend Suddenly Wants Zero Commitment?
I hope I can get my head on straight by posting this here, and appreciate all advice possible. I've been dating my boyfriend Long Distance for
Stable Ex or Exciting New girl
Here's how the story starts off. Me and my ex (24 and 23) were in a loving relationship for 3 years. However, things started going downhill in the
Featured Threads
Ugly pictures
We had a professional photographer come in at work. I used the photo and put it on my dating profile. But when my Roomie saw it,she said take it
Not being "too" available.
I posted a few days ago about the younger guy I've been dating for 6 months and how he doesn't want to use BG/GF labels. I got some great feedback
I am having difficulty accepting my boyfriends bisexuality for no reason
So here goes; the main reason why I got this account here is probably because I am so ashamed of myself and that because I am surrounded by either
relationship advice
hi... I'll start by saying i'm a guy, i just really needed a woman's point of view for this, so i hope you can help me! My mom is paying for my
Seeing ex tomorrow..so confused. Need advice!
Hi everyone. I'm really confused with my ex. Dated two years; he was very hurt by the breakup. He hasn't dated many people, and I was his first
Needing advice and/or support with ex girlfriend
Ok. Long story short... I ended up in a serious relationship with my best friend of 7 years. The last 3 years of which we were in a serious
I really need some advice and a outside opinion
I really don't know what to do ... My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now she is no longer attracted to me but tells me she loves
Ask For Advice

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •