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Thread: Any dumpers that struggle/regret their decision after a long period of time?

  1. #11
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    Thanks guys. I'm not waiting - I'm trying to plan my life without him and work through all my grief. I know he's not coming back- something I don't like, but I have to learn to live with.

    It did however strike me that I rarely see dumpers on here still pining after a long period of time, even when they do regret their decision. Maybe it's easier to deal with having regrets if it's your dEcision as opposed to dealing with a situation you didn't choose.

  2. #12
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    i've sometimes regretted a decision to walk away from a guy, but not really enough to call him and ask for a second chance...

  3. #13
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    I have regretted breaking up with some guys, but I never went back to them more than a few days later (and those few turned me down! harumph). The ones I've regretted a long time later were guys who were nice but where our lives were going in completely different directions - sometimes you see/hear about them later and realize that if you met now, you'd actually be compatible. But I can't imagine asking for a second chance after that much time has passed so I let them be.

  4. #14
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    I was the dumper in my first LTR. About a few months later I had one of those "Oh ****" moments and realized I had actually been deeply in love with her. I frantically tried to get ahold of her and begged her to take me back. I was seriously ready to buy a wedding ring and everything. At that point she said, "too late, you hurt me too much". We're actually still friends, and neither of us have romantic feelings for each other.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by meletus
    I was the dumper in my first LTR. About a few months later I had one of those "Oh ****" moments and realized I had actually been deeply in love with her. I frantically tried to get ahold of her and begged her to take me back. I was seriously ready to buy a wedding ring and everything. At that point she said, "too late, you hurt me too much". We're actually still friends, and neither of us have romantic feelings for each other.
    I wish. It won't ever happen for me

  7. #16
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    [QUOTE=playstheblues;5304851]I wish. It won't ever happen for me

    i know you might not believe this but most long term ex g/f or b/f do try and reach out at one point but normally by the time they do you have either healed and moved on from them and don't wanna know them anymore or they have cause you far to much damage.

    hope your having a good weekend

  8. #17
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    Although I'm not sure who did the breaking up, I'd like to think it was me since I sent an official break up e-mail. Long story short, I'd been with my guy for 5 months, didn't know where he lived and his communication got pretty spotty towards the end. He tried to pull the slow fade by not contacting me on his last business trip so instead of confronting him a 3rd time about his lack of communication, I sent a well written and well thought out break up e-mail. I don't regret my decision because I want to get married and he showed me his true colors and that he wasn't the one, but it hurts like hell that he disappeared the way he did. Given all the red flags and instincts, I don't regret the decision, I just wish I had had some sort of closure.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member The_Seeker's Avatar
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    I was the dumper in my second relationship.

    First ex couldn't break up with me so I broke up with him.

    Third ex couldn't break up with me but gave me a silent treatment for a week. LOL So I take it as being over but shows me his character anyway.

    I believe first ex and third ex cheated. I have no proof but I sense it and their action in their eyes are similar. Woot, I developed a cheater-radar.

    My second ex is probably who I take back. I regret it sometimes, because I reacted too quickly. But come to think of it, it's not what I tolerate. I like my private love life to be between me and him. Not the whole world. If I wanted the whole world to know, I post it on Twitter or FB.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by EmmaB78
    I have regretted breaking up with some guys, but I never went back to them more than a few days later (and those few turned me down! harumph). The ones I've regretted a long time later were guys who were nice but where our lives were going in completely different directions - sometimes you see/hear about them later and realize that if you met now, you'd actually be compatible. But I can't imagine asking for a second chance after that much time has passed so I let them be.
    I quoted this post in particular because it's exactly how I feel, or rather how I hope SHE'S feeling. My ex gf of 2 years left me for pretty much the same reason. While I was a nice guy to her, I wasnt what she was looking for, but we're both a bit confused as to what we ARE looking forward and as I grow personally and learn more about that, and she does too, through dating others or what have you, I do feel there could be a juncture where a relationship COULD work between us but that would depend on how she feels.

    I know you dont seem too interested in asking for a second chance after so much time but if its really on your mind, Id pursue it. Then again, dont do what Id do, it usually doesnt end well. But in all honesty, if I felt that way, even after a couple years or more, Id reinitiate contact. At that point, Id have nothing to lose

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