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Thread: ping pong show.....on our honeymoon

  1. #41
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    His a nice guy in general. Plenty of affection and doesn't expect me to get tea on the table etc etc. So I hope I didn't depict that. I think his main problem is he has to automatically defend himself when I question his opinions on something and automatically feels like I am attacking him and he naturally responds negatively. To put it blunly, I cannot disagree with him. I agree he has a bit of a twisted point of view about what a honeymoon should be, but I don't think it is enough to stop the wedding?? It does make me extremely nervous though...but the wedding is at the end of july and everything has been paid for (by my parents btw), god bless them.

  2. #42
    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
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    I guarantee if you tell all this to your parents, they will gladly help you get out if this wedding.

  3. #43
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    Originally Posted by Hanz33
    His a nice guy in general. Plenty of affection and doesn't expect me to get tea on the table etc etc. So I hope I didn't depict that. I think his main problem is he has to automatically defend himself when I question his opinions on something and automatically feels like I am attacking him and he naturally responds negatively. To put it blunly, I cannot disagree with him. I agree he has a bit of a twisted point of view about what a honeymoon should be, but I don't think it is enough to stop the wedding?? It does make me extremely nervous though...but the wedding is at the end of july and everything has been paid for (by my parents btw), god bless them.
    If you can not disagree with him without him being severely put out your marriage is going to be VERY ugly. I think he should keep his proclivity for voyeurism out of the honeymoon and if he goes bananas because you disagree do not go through with a wedding because it is paid for. You will be back on here in 6 months asking for divorce advice.

  4. #44
    Platinum Member redrose85's Avatar
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    I agree with vic. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but your future with this guy is pretty transparent.

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  6. #45
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    Originally Posted by Hanz33
    His a nice guy in general. Plenty of affection and doesn't expect me to get tea on the table etc etc. So I hope I didn't depict that. I think his main problem is he has to automatically defend himself when I question his opinions on something and automatically feels like I am attacking him and he naturally responds negatively. To put it blunly, I cannot disagree with him. I agree he has a bit of a twisted point of view about what a honeymoon should be, but I don't think it is enough to stop the wedding?? It does make me extremely nervous though...but the wedding is at the end of july and everything has been paid for (by my parents btw), god bless them.

    The ping pong show is the least of your problems -it's his way of treating you that's the far more significant problem. Who cares that the wedding has been paid for -that's only money- and I don't mean that flippantly because divorce will be far more expensive than a party. I canceled a wedding 6 weeks prior to the event and we lost some money- we and our families but it was "worth it". Don't get married because a party has been planned.

  7. #46
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    If you are not even married yet and he is showing bully tendencies you don't have a hope unless you stand up to him. My husband learned to be a bully in relationships from his father. I just have to face him down when I feel he is wrong or just being a bully.If you let him get away with it repeatedly you will set up a pattern for him constantly bullying you and you are re enforcing his bullying pattern. My mother-in-law has lived 54 years with a man who is a bully whenever anyone opposes what he wants. I am not sure how she does it.

  8. #47
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    This does NOT make for a happy marriage. I have to agree with everyone and it will be so much harder to leave once married.

    Apart from the ping pong show you do realise that during this walk through the area he will be harassed for sex by every single woman you pass, even with you there. This will be nothing but an ego boost for him and humiliation for you.

  9. #48
    Platinum Member BellaDonna's Avatar
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    Apart from the ping pong show you do realise that during this walk through the area he will be harassed for sex by every single woman you pass, even with you there. This will be nothing but an ego boost for him and humiliation for you.
    Good point. That alone would be enough reason not to go there, especially on a honeymoon.

  10. #49
    Platinum Member Snny's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hanz33
    I agree he has a bit of a twisted point of view about what a honeymoon should be, but I don't think it is enough to stop the wedding??
    It's all about the fact of how he treated you when you approached a disagreement that poses a threat to YOUR relationship with him. He was not sensible and reacted like a child; not a grown adult who is ready for a lifetime commitment. He straight up bullied you and STILL behaved manipulative when he got what he wanted- an unnecessary apology from you.

    It does make me extremely nervous though...but the wedding is at the end of july and everything has been paid for (by my parents btw), god bless them.
    You should be nervous. I would be if I were in your shoes since this isn't something to be taken lightly at all.

    Money should be the least of your concern here. You are choosing to spend the rest of your life with a man who does not respect you OR your upcoming marriage. Honey, if this marriage doesn't work out, you will pay more in getting a divorce than the amount of money you paid for a wedding. He has made it absolutely clear that he is not ready to be a mature husband for you and will fight for his "freedom" because he feels he cannot "live his life around you." Those were his exact words and you should not let it slide at all. You can get some of the money back from a wedding- better than spending extra in a divorce court if this guy isn't mature enough for a marriage.

  11. #50
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    He has agreed to go to a a pre-marital councelling. I'm hoping this will iron out these probs? At least he is saying he will go? I've just got to get the courage to talk about our disagreements without him flipping out on me. I'm fully commited to working this out without divorce

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