Dealing with mother in law as a non-kid person

I have been married for 7 yrs and my husband and I are just NOT kid people. This known through-out both our large families.

However...whenever I see my mil...she will show me ROLLS of pics of kids in the family that we haven't seen often (or at all) and whose parents we aren't close to. This occurs nearly every time we see them. I've come to realize how much the wasted time really does add up and she always seems disappointed that I don't oooooh and aaaaah more. But, honestly, any interest I manage to muster for the 1st photo is LONG gone by the 22nd.

Also, I've noticed my husband is spared viewing the bulk of the photos... So I know for sure that she's boring me to tears...but I'm also beginning to suspect that she's trying to guilt or encourage me a bit into wanting children?

How do I gracefully tell my MIL to please, please stop the slide shows? That I'm just not interested? I used to think it was doable to just grin and bear it...but 7 yrs in I'm dreading visiting them at all and I can't see sitting silent for the next 20-30 yrs.

Personally, I would have your husband talk to her. If he also doesn't want kids it would carry more weight coming from him, their son, that you as a couple do not want kids and want the same respect given to you that they give family members who choose to have kids.

I think this is one of those battles you should not fight. She's not being rude to you, just boring you. If she says something rude to you about your decision not to have children that's different. When you are with her simply say the appropriate things about the photos and try very politely to change the topic or take photos of something you like - a vacation spot you went to or want to go to, home renovations, whatever and take those photos out and say "those are so cute -let me show you what I brought!.

If it were not your MIL I would have a different view but family peace is far more important than your being bored or reading into her behavior. Just tune it out (even if you are "right" you may "win" the battle in that she won't show them to you anymore but you will lose a huge war).

How often do you see your in-laws? If it is every few weeks or few months I don't think it breaks the bank for you to feign interest in something she enjoys. Everyone has something they do not enjoy to see or talk about or whatever. You don't just marry the person, you marry their family. If they are good to you overall, just suck it up, it won't kill you.

This reminds me of a situation I dealt with for some time: One of my husband's friends has a wife that makes cakes as a hobby. Every time we would go over I would get stuck looking at albums and albums FULL of cakes she made. Cakes shaped like footballs, cakes shaped like princesses, cakes with photos on them, cakes that look like the solar system, and more. Each cake had a "story" I had to hear too. Maybe the first 3 pics were interesting.... after that I wanted to stick needles in my eyes, knives in my ears, and die to escape it. My husband was always spared.

After this happened no less than 3 times I bascially just stopped going to her house.

I guess you can't do that with your mother-in-law, but you should tell your husband to SAVE you when he sees that she is doing that to you. Have him call you over or start a conversation about something else or show you something else.

Also, if the opportunity ever presents itself you should mention "I am not a picture person". lol

Or perhaps after viewing a few of them, say, what a beautiful family. So, how are you doing? Or "let me tell you about......" and just totally change the subject.

I feel for you. I really do. Even if you loved kids it will still be boring to look at that many photos. Especially if she had to narrate them. Ugh!

Start saying things like "EWWW!!!" at every other picture.

Belladonna, thank you. I am sorry that you had to view so many cakes...but relieved to know it is not just me!! And I guess that's the thing...kids OR otherwise, what do you do with a clueless person who insistently dominates the conversation oblivious to all signs (no matter how direct) that you do NOT care.

Posters who advised patience have done so wisely, I know. But...after 7 yrs of this occurring during EVERY visit and adding up to hours and hours each month...I think I'm just going to cut back on the visits. It may be incredibly selfish...but life is too dang short!!

Thanks to all for the thoughts!

Have you and your husband made it abundantly clear that you are not going to have any children? That is not the same as 'not being kid people'.

Haha, pinkmartini78, I feel for you and have one more: people with their tattoos and/or surgeries. They will bust out their tattoos and tell you the history, the significance, the place where they had it done, who was with them, etc (brings to mind 9/11 or JFK, LOL). Others will list their litany of injuries and surgeries, day/date/year, recovery times, doctors' names, hehehehe.

You have some good replies above, I have nothing to add. Just got a good chuckle out of the "slide show" you get subjected to and it reminded me of these others.

P.S. - Of course, if that's your thing, it's fine. But for folks who cannot relate, it's a delicate balance between being a disengaged receptacle and being outright dismissive...

GoodNESS Spinster! I AM grateful that she's not spinning tales of graphic surgery. Although...I have the perfect way out of that one- 3 sentences in and the contents of my squeamish stomach would be all over her shoes!

Oh yes, DN. My husband has explained in no uncertain terms that we are not planning on children and love our lives just as they are! In addition to that, people are aware that we don't particularly enjoy time around other peoples children and cannot relate to parenting issues.

To me...it would be as if I assumed that everyone was as in to my dogs as I was. I love them and chose to spend time with them...but nobody else wants to see 60 photos of my buddies or hear what came out of their bottoms that day. So I keep it to myself!

I think you just found the perfect answer: bring an album or 5 of your dog and whip them out as soon as she starts with the kid albums. " I have some pics to share with you too"

bring an album or 5 of your dog and whip them out as soon as she starts with the kid albums.

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