I will be losing my V-card to someone I don't like soon.

Yeap, my friends and I are going to Vegas next month which is 3hours from my location I've decided to just hurry up and get it over and done with. I honestly don't like the idea but I have no other choice as I'm about to be 26 and nothing has changed about my dating life.

I would like to point out that I indeed did try and date a girl that was pretty much the love of my life. She was everything that I could ever ask for in a woman but in the end she has flaked out on my just as ALL the women before have done to me. I've lost weight, made more money, made all the nessciary changes and still nothing. Id rather just go ahead with the idea of seeing an escort so I don't have to bare the weight of being a Virgin at 26 years old. I'm tired of being the only one I know who's still a virgin at this age. My oldest and youngest brothers have both had successful relationships, all my friends are currently sexually active, co-workers and so on while I feel like such a blacksheep not knowing what they are talking about or how to interact. I'm suppose to continue to wait? NO! I refuse to wait another year and become a 30 year old virgin.

I've come to conclusion that there will never be a woman in my life and even if there is chances are she won't be a virgin so ill just lie to her and say I got drunk and had sex one night for my first time. I have needs that aren't being met. There's just no other way than to just do it this way.

I think you'll be making a huge mistake. Seeing an escort will make you feel worse, not better.

hey - maybe this will be a good thing. i know your virginity has been bothering you for a while, so if it makes you feel better to go to a brothel or have a drunken one-night stand, so be it. it will be over, and then you can say to yourself "I am not a virgin" and maybe you will start to feel more confident? you'll lose your virginity in a matter of minutes but as the saying goes, "wherever you go, there you are."

All right, well, have fun and good luck I suppose.

My guess is that you're frustrated and looking for someone to contradict you: "No, MD Geist, this is a terrible idea because you'll hate yourself afterward/ you'll catch an STD/ you'll get her preggo/ the sun will explode and kill us all!".

But you already know the potential consequences. If you want to ignore reason and go ahead with it, then best of luck. I honestly hope it fulfills this need of yours.

So other than that, are you looking for any specific advice?

Have you ever thought you are making changes in the WRONG areas, MD? I personally wouldn't care how much money a man made or if he had six pack abs - his personality would be the make or break it deal for me. Also, while there are many women who won't mind the lie of getting drunk and having a one night, there are many others (myself included) who would not date someone (with the prospect of it becoming serious) who had had a one night stand. I would prefer to be with a virgin (who is open and honest about that fact) than someone who lost it to a one night stand.

This is only one woman's opinion, however.

I will also point out having sex one time doesn't make someone an expert at it, and each time you have sex with someone different it's different in itself. You have to have sex with someone multiple times in order to get comfortable and know what works best for the two bodies.

The only areas that I believe I could make in those certain areas if I become a bad boy and use women. Girls often tell me I'm to nice. Thats a bad thing. Maybe if I slept with an escort it would make me more valuable in the market. Apparently its all backwards.

The only areas that I believe I could make in those certain areas if I become a bad boy and use women. Girls often tell me I'm to nice. Thats a bad thing. Maybe if I slept with an escort it would make me more valuable in the market. Apparently its all backwards.

Yeah... that's def. not for all women. Unless you allow yourself to be a doormat, there is no such thing as too nice of a guy. For those of girls who have had a bad boy, we much prefer the nicer ones.

This is a mistake. This is not going to help you. Your problem is self confidence and knowing how to mingle with women. This prostitute thing.... is like putting a band-aid over a bullet wound.

Maybe if I slept with an escort it would make me more valuable in the market. Apparently its all backwards.

Why not place more value on both your health, and self-esteem? Anyone who is worth your time would not give a hoot whether you're a virgin, or not.

Good luck. For me, it was a bad experience. I couldn't get it up. I guess you already know my story since I posted about it.

But don't worry, my problem was I do it by prone masturbation so it seems people who do this have erectile dysfunction problems. If you are masturbating the regular way, you won't have any problems.

Yes, it would be better to do this in a committed relationship but nothing wrong in trying these things out. Because I did it, I know I have problems so I can try to solve them. You can know if you have sexual problems too.

MD, Put up a pole. Ask women whether they would rather have sex with a guy who is a virgin or a guy who had sex with an escort...

The idea that you will feel the need to lie about your first time to future gf's already starts your relationships out on a bad note. It also indicates that you will feel shame, and hurt your confidence worse.

If there's a poll, I for one would rather have sex with a virgin, even if he's 40, rather than a guy who had sex with an escort. If he had a one night stand with someone who isn't an escort, that's different, but there's something so cheap/cheesy about going to an escort that I can't get over. Maybe it's the paying for it thing..

I have a buddy who lost his to a prostitute in Spain...I guess if you just wanna lose the v card and that's your sole concern then go for it...just wear a rubber and don't get caught, it is illegal ya know.

I have a buddy who lost his to a prostitute in Spain...I guess if you just wanna lose the v card and that's your sole concern then go for it...just wear a rubber and don't get caught, it is illegal ya know.

And that's the biggest thing. If your only concern is not being a virgin then go for it. However if you actually want meaingful, lasting relationship with someone, then this is not hte route to go.

I have needs that aren't being met.

Wait -- are you doing this so that you can get it over with and know at least you're not a virgin anymore?

Or to "get your needs met"?

Because the only "need" this is going to meet is removing this label that's plaguing you (VIRGIN). All the needs people get met sexually will not be met with a one-time deal with a prostitute. In fact, even if this is the sex act you're experiencing, so much of it will be missing as intimacy goes, it won't really reflect what sex "feels" like except the physical sensations of intercourse.

Unless you're thinking of this as a way of life...and even then, it's not going to meet your needs, because sexuality for someone wanting a relationship is a lot more than penile-vaginal friction. That's going to get old very fast, and your odds for the risks involved (STD's especially) will increase.

I know this has been such an albatross around your neck, I couldn't fault you for doing it. So I'm ready to say, be VERY careful, go to a safe place, and find out if it's "all that", because you won't know just how disappointing your plan and what you're doing is until you do it. Sometimes experience IS the only teacher.

But don't kid yourself. Your needs are not going to be met this way. You'll join your friends in being "non-virgin status", but soon you will start to feel that they get their sex through girlfriends and partners, and you have to "resort" to prostitutes. And how is that going to make you feel? Not better than you feel now, I'll wager.

And women like bad boys. But not desperate boys.

Desperate boys go to prostitutes, if you want the woman's point of view.

I do hope you'll come out of this relatively unscarred, but I'm skeptical, honestly. Good luck.

MD, Put up a pole. Ask women whether they would rather have sex with a guy who is a virgin or a guy who had sex with an escort...

 

The idea that you will feel the need to lie about your first time to future gf's already starts your relationships out on a bad note. It also indicates that you will feel shame, and hurt your confidence worse.

And I agree with all this, 100%. I'm for the poll, too. (even though lying to a future partner would make the point moot; maybe the poll should be about how strongly women feel about getting with a guy who lies about his first time. Just so you know how someone you lie to would feel about theoretically being deceived.)

MD, Put up a pole. Ask women whether they would rather have sex with a guy who is a virgin or a guy who had sex with an escort..

He'll need to ask a third question: "Will you have sex with me?" The answer will be no, and he'll still be stuck with the same problem. There's no use putting him in a straw man/hypothetical situation, as women are already picking Option C: not having sex with a virgin or a guy whose first time was with an escort, but having sex with guys that are sexually experienced. Unfortunately, this sounds like the only way he can get that experience. The last thing he needs is more advice from women that aren't willing to sleep with him and thus solve the problem.

This is sad because no woman would knowingly want a man that's been with a prostitute/escort. I don't see how doing this will help you.

He'll need to ask a third question: "Will you have sex with me?" The answer will be no, and he'll still be stuck with the same problem. There's no use putting him in a straw man/hypothetical situation, as women are already picking Option C: not having sex with a virgin or a guy whose first time was with an escort, but having sex with guys that are sexually experienced. Unfortunately, this sounds like the only way he can get that experience. The last thing he needs is more advice from women that aren't willing to sleep with him and thus solve the problem.

Who said a woman wouldn't have sex with a virgin? I have. I'd rather have sex with a virgin than a guy who either a) lost it to a escort or had ANY kind of kind sex (10th time, 100th time) with an escort. But that's because there is nothing wrong with being a virgin.

Honestly, I'm sure you can find SOMEONE at a bar or even through online dating who's not an escort and is willing to have sex with you..

Who said a woman wouldn't have sex with a virgin? I have. I'd rather have sex with a virgin than a guy who either a) lost it to a escort or had ANY kind of kind sex (10th time, 100th time) with an escort. But that's because there is nothing wrong with being a virgin.

That's great, but no one is having sex with him thus far. (From the way that women on ENA talk, you'd think that women would be tripping over each other to have sex with him, given that he's a virgin.) This is one of those "proof is in the pudding" situations. For however many years, he's been hoping that a woman would have sex with him...but for some mysterious reason, it hasn't happened. I don't blame him for wanting to try a different approach.

Take it from a fellow late-bloomer: I heard a lot of women say, "There's nothing wrong with being a virgin...but, completely coincidentally, I'm still not going to sleep with you." It took a lot of time and effort (by my standards, anyway) before I finally found one that didn't have a problem with my lack of experience.

I think OP has other issues at hand that may make him undesirable to women...and it's not his virginity. It's really funny how so many guys here assume that virginity is what makes the guy undesirable.

It really doesn't. Guess what: most women would rather be with a virgin than a guy who has slept with a paid W. That's the truth. My boyfriend was a virgin prior to being with me and it was great!

I would not say "Oh well he just hasn't had the chance to lose his virginity because he 'kept it' for so long and that's why women don't like him." No. So many virgin guys on this board make it into a huge deal, and THAT is what is a turn-off. They're sitting there sweating all the time and can't relax and be themselves when talking a woman. When the topic turns to sex or whatnot, they clam up and get awkward, insecure, and bitter. Many of the virgin guys I see posting here have HUGE chips on their shoulder about women, being hateful of them because the women are not attracted to them...not because they are virgins but because they are so goddamn bitter and socially awkward with so many topics.

MD, you are welcome to do what you want, but I do think you will regret it, and you all you are doing is ruining your chances at being with someone worthwhile in the future.

That's great, but no one is having sex with him thus far. (From the way that women on ENA talk, you'd think that women would be tripping over each other to have sex with him, given that he's a virgin.) This is one of those "proof is in the pudding" situations. For however many years, he's been hoping that a woman would have sex with him...but for some mysterious reason, it hasn't happened. I don't blame him for wanting to try a different approach.

 

Take it from a fellow late-bloomer: I heard a lot of women say, "There's nothing wrong with being a virgin...but, completely coincidentally, I'm still not going to sleep with you." It took a lot of time and effort (by my standards, anyway) before I finally found one that didn't have a problem with my lack of experience.

Do you want to know why it hasn't happened for him Spiral? Because he's putting too much emphasis on it and in the wrong areas of bettering himself. Now if all he wants is sex and to forever have random one nighters then yes, by all means go this route. However handing his V card in - to an escort, to a random bar girl - is not going to automatically give him a 'one up' in finding a life long partner. Simply not being a virgin doesn't mean the other areas he hasn't worked on will automatically glean with brightness. If you aren't confident before you lose your virginity, losing it isn't going to magically fix that. That's something you have to work on long and hard. For example, for many men who are balding it's a crux. They don't have a ubber high confidence level because all the tv adverts show men with full heads of lucious hair. My husband has been balding since he was 16 - he was 25 when we met. I have NEVER met a more confident man than my husband. He took a negative that makes most men hide away from women or try to gain their hair loss back and turned it into a positive for him. I didn't pay attention to his lack of hair when we met (in all honesty before him I was into guys will full heads of hair) but what drew me to him and the potentional to date him was his confidence, his personality. If you only fixate on the negative then yeah, ya ain't gonna get laid.

It's also down to the fact (shock horror) many women - myself included - won't have sex outside a LTR. So the reason he may not have lost it yet to a woman who might have been one of those who doesn't care if the guy is a virgin or not is simply because they never made it to the LT phase.

Just use some protection.

Hope you enjoy yourself. And yeah, certainly be safe.